Do you ever feel resentful????

**DaisySue** · 03-18-2008, 12:27 PM

Are any of you in a situation where your hubby is so very unfrugal while you are trying to stretch and stretch a buck and do without and then he buys something that while it is nice to have or own was not necessary in the least?

I get very resentful. Hubby just bought a lot of land, which we don't need, he doesn't even have a use for, all because it was an awesome deal? I don't care what kind of deal it was, I have holes in my underwear which are so thin, I can't even begin to patch them up! AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

**JustMegan79** · 03-18-2008, 12:30 PM

I totally understand. Thats all I can say about that. LOL!! Just try not to brain him with a frying pan is all the advice I can give!!

**M55FF** · 03-18-2008, 12:33 PM

I read some other posters complain about things like this, spouse who does not share the same ideals and values.
I don't have that problem but I can say with certainty, if I did, I would be divorced from them.

**fernykins** · 03-18-2008, 12:46 PM

yes I can relate......... I have gone without new things that were needed.. but he had money to get that pack of cigs or other items not needed...... at least its something hes not smoking up you can see where the money went. Do I think its fair NO. mine never could understand that I had needs too.
Fern

**Jellybeanz** · 03-18-2008, 12:52 PM

Oh wow.. yea, my husband did the same thing a year ago - bought land, and just like you said, it's not serving ANY purpose. We already have a house and land we owe money own. 40 acres to ......... hunt on.ARGGGGHHHHHHH

I truly feel for you. It's downright scary at this point, the position we are in now.I do the best I can and let the chips fall where they may beyond that. I know some people can tell their husbands not to do something and they actually listen, but mine won't.

Resentment is a tough feeling to put aside, I know. I don't have answers, but I sure do hear ya !

**M55FF** · 03-18-2008, 01:01 PM

About 7 or so years ago I almost married a guy like that ( selfish) but my family had a fit and begged me not to.
When I asked why they said he did not know what love was, he was not a husband.
I was explained to what a husband was... and deciced not to marry the guy or even date since no man I ever met was like that.
Then one day the right guy comes into my life and quite by surprise.

In the future if you ever are in the man market or are asked to marry someone, make sure he is a husband and not just some ordinary man.

The bible will tell you how to tell if he is one.

I know living with that resentment is hard... try to focus on yourself more and your relationship with God.

**MirandaK** · 03-18-2008, 01:21 PM

I'm not sure I could be a in a marriage where large financial decisions weren't made together...I'm a big believer in 'our $$' not his & mine. To say the least, I would be positively furious if I were you! I agree with whoever said not to hit him with the frying pan!

**ktsmama** · 03-18-2008, 01:30 PM

I USED to have a husband like that!! LOL

**C@rol** · 03-18-2008, 03:59 PM

"I'm not sure I could be a in a marriage where large financial decisions weren't made together..."

I know I couldn't be in a marriage where the big decisions were not made together. No way!

Hope things work out.

**StaceyS** · 03-18-2008, 04:02 PM

Yes! It's so hard to pinch pennies and see DBF buy a BigGulp at 7-11 (EVERY DAY) instead of just drinking tea (which he admits he should do). Just my personal pet-peeve!

**annymoll** · 03-18-2008, 04:56 PM

I would buy new underwear.

**cissylu** · 03-18-2008, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by annymoll

I would buy new underwear.

yep this and also if I needed something else also.

**rudypoo98** · 03-18-2008, 06:16 PM

At least he's not spending money on porn movies and magazines.When I was pregnant and trying to get car paid off and house payment and other bills paid a few months ahead.Yes, that's what I found hid from me in his chest while putting clothes away.Here I was going without everything in order to take leave from work and he was wasting money on crap like that.It sure makes you feel good too when your big as a barn and 8 months along to find that kind of stuff.

**Jskell911** · 03-18-2008, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by ktsmama

I USED to have a husband like that!! LOL

Me too. 'Nuff said

**mikandmari** · 03-18-2008, 07:33 PM

Sometimes I get tired of having to talk sense into my husband. He is frugal... he likes the idea of becoming debt free... but when he sees something he wants (and it is always something BIG) he seems to convince himself that he makes decent money and he deserves it. All his 'deserving' got us the debt in the first place!

I have to ~get out the notebook~ and show him the math. Preach about the economy and the cost of gas and groceries and heat and so on.... Fortunately, I handle the money, and he does take my advice. But sometimes I feel like the Mommy rather than the wife