Overwhelmed and exhausted

**Daisygirl** · 03-23-2008, 08:56 AM

It is really hard to be all things to all people - or at least the people in my house. I work and make the money like the "breadwinner" and then I come home and do the home stuff like the "housewife."

I am so tired and my house is such a disaster! It is just a mess. I work 50-60 hours a week and then come home and want to cry. If I work less my kids will go without their extra curriculars and our house would be very hard to maintain.

Nothing is organized. It is clean enought to not be a health risk but that is about all I can say for it. It seems like all I do is work and clean and cook and do laundry. I just got back from vacation and it's like all that relaxation never even happened. I have 5 more loads of dirty laundry, as well as about 4 loads of clean laundry to put away.

I feel like my poor kids have too many chores. I would hire a house keeper, truly I would sped the money on having someone do a big cleaning once a week, but it is so disorganized she wouldn't know what to do with it either.

I just want to crawl back under the covers this morning. Hopefully the house fairies will visit while I am sleeping. The sad thing is, there is no particular reason for this exhaustion, I am over my flu for the most part. Maybe I am just lazy - I have often suspected that. Other people can do this - why can't I?

**FrugalMomof3** · 03-23-2008, 09:30 AM

I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed but I am sure things will get back in order soon. Until then, relax and dont worry so much. I know that when I worry things never get done so do them slowly and with breaks in between, then when it's all done you will be so proud.

One thing I do want to mention is that if you do some cleaning for a half hour, then take a 15 min break in between and schedule cleanings, it shows alot more progress each time.

**emily_hope** · 03-23-2008, 09:55 AM

Don't beat yourself up. I don't know how in the world you could even think you were lazy... you work 50 - 60 hours a week! You are doing a great job providing for and being a Mother for your girls. The house will catch up eventually. Remember to take a little time for yourself each day. It sounds crazy, but you have to take care of yourself first in order for you to be able to take care of everyone else. (((HUGS)))

**coup** · 03-23-2008, 10:13 AM

Sending you hugs.....

I think we all get in these ruts. Please cut yourself some slack. Maybe pick a day (half day? couple of hours?) just for you and don't work at all. I know an hour long bubble bath works wonders for my spirit.

I hope this feeling passes quickly. Until then, I'd do small spurts of housework like Tracy mentioned. If I know I only have 20 more minutes, then it doesn't seem so intolerable.

**M55FF** · 03-23-2008, 10:13 AM

We all feel a little overwelmed at some point in life. I notice your 38...
thatis a time when many women start to get reproductive problems.. when was your last check up and blood work?
Sounds like the time has come to devise a new plan.... a new living plan.
Yes your kids could go without some things, like a cell phone and they could work around the house for allowence money...
you could learn the art of effectively delegating most of thew chores to your kids if they are old enough ( are they too young to do laundry, not sure)...
but it sounds like once you make sure your not anemic or have some health issue ... you could maybe read or look at other options as far as your housework routines and get them in beter order.

When I was about 11 I did laundry, I didn't have a cell phone, helped in cooking, did chores and it didn't kill me.
You could work 5 less hours a week and it could make all the difference in the world.
Make small changes and you'll find somethings that work and some that don't... keep at it until things are running smoother and hopefully you'll feel better.
Excuses my typos, I just woke up awhile ago

**Jskell911** · 03-23-2008, 10:16 AM

You are right about one thing- You cannot be and do everything! Don't beat yourself up so much. You are doing the job of 2 people on your own. I know I was there before. Give yourself credit for everything you have accomplished and for the fact that you are a great mom! The household stuff- window dressing.

**Royal** · 03-23-2008, 10:26 AM

I just want to wish you the best! You work 50-60 hours per week, are raising 2 daughters and doing all the household chores? Wow! Like someone already mentioned, you cannot be and do everything.
Take care of yourself and things will fall in place. Really!!

**suki** · 03-23-2008, 10:46 AM

OH, you are not alone in how you feel! And, other folks can't do it all either... they just pretend as though they can! Really.

When I was in your shoes I felt the same way at times. What helped were some simple things... picking my battles, having the kids help with things they could do (laundry, preparing one meal per week, picking up after themselves), and declaring a cleaning weekend (or sometimes a week) to get caught up long enough to feel better about it all.

But, don't feel as though you are falling short... you're not.

**leezza** · 03-23-2008, 10:55 AM

Karen,

Your doing a great job!

I bet your girls feel good about being able to help mommy out with things.

No one can do it all......I would say the most important thing is that you and your girls are provided for, which they are : )

Have a great day,
leezza

PS. maybe just take 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night to get things organized the way you like it......that way it wouldn't be so overwhelming.

**mmy2grls** · 03-23-2008, 10:56 AM

I feel the same way at times. After so long I just get exhausted and stay that way for awhile. Sometimes I just have to stop everything and just clean while spending time with my kids. I know working is important so you can take care of everything. I find it hard at times to keep everything balanced when you do everything solely by yourself.

hugs

**M55FF** · 03-23-2008, 11:03 AM

My housework situation greatly improved when I decluttered and got rid of 80% of "stuff"........
no more nic knacks... cleaning is easier,, much easier.
Just something to thinkk about to help you with housework...

less stuff, less to clean and keep up with....
and less stress.

Of course there still remains 10% of the stuff but its in the shed and designated for a garage sale.

**lwlynch** · 03-23-2008, 11:11 AM

Look from all the posts I have ever read from you. I can determine one thing, you are a fighter, a great provider and very kind. Don't beat yourself up. Do one big thing in the house maybe on just Saturdays, the other days make it so it can be maintained.
>For example get everyone a basket. Throw in one load of laundry then sort into prospective baskets, and get a hanger things for those clothes that hang. And don't beat yourself up if you leave the baskets in an accessible area, and even if they pick from the basket. Give the kids another basket to catch the dirty ones. We use a big cart with wheels to catch all the dirty and then roll to the laundry.
> for beds get blankets that all you have to do is throw across when everyone gets up. Just to give a quick clean.
>as for the tub and toilet.I clean it every time I am in it. Then periodically I let the kids do the Mr bubble thing just to keep it shiny.
> regarding snacks, I prebaggie and pre serving (little rubbermaid bowls with screw lids) the cereal. That way if it is a hard day, atleast everyone can get something.
I know some of these things sound a little goofy but they work at our house.
I also just got over the flu and it took about 3 weeks to even get my strength back. Me and the kids watched lots of tv together.
good luck and hope you get to feeling better.

**dancar3** · 03-23-2008, 11:18 AM

I think you are doing a tremendous job with everything! You are doing your best and while your house may not be as clean as you want, as long as the people inside are happy that is what really matters. The tips that others have mentioned above is great advice too. Your girls are very fortunate to have a mom like you!

**Mom23boys** · 03-23-2008, 11:18 AM

Do not beat yourself up! You are working 50-60 hours a week to provide a home for you and your children. Raising a family alone is stressful enough without adding more pressures to it.

Just an idea...maybe you could declutter for 15 minutes a day. Set a timer for 15 minutes, do as much as you can in those 15 minutes and once it dings, you stop. Eventually, your home will be the cleaner home you are wanting. Since you work lots of hours outside the home, I know you must be to tired to do housework when you get home that is why I only suggest 15 minutes a day. If you have your own washer and dryer (or clothes drying rack), you can start a load of laundry before you leave for work and another load when you get home from work. This way it wouldn't be so overwhelming.

Wishing you the best....and I hope you are able to get some rest! You need a rest break for yourself!

**Daisygirl** · 03-23-2008, 11:58 AM

Thanks everyone. I am just plugging away today. I set my alarm and got up to get some things done while the kids are away.

i have gotten a jump on the laundry, and cleaned the kitchen. Dinner is in the crockpot, so no fuss there. I have decided to break down and hire someone to do the heavy cleaning once a week. I am making a chore chart for the kids, linked to allowance and priveleges. The work scheudle has to remain, there is not any change I can make there right now, but this will at least lighten the burden at home, and perhaps keep me from having a nervous breakdown.

My kids are not really spoiled - they each have girl guides and gymnastics once a week. We have a family cell phone that is used if my older daughter is out in the eveneing with her friends, and I only spend $20 a month on that, I think some may have misunderstood the extent of the privelges I try to provide for the girls.

I appreciate the support and I will just keep plugging away. you are right, also, I have way too much stuff!