It's true, you can't go home again.

**lovestolaugh** · 03-23-2008, 11:21 AM

I just got back from spending a week in my home town. I was sleeping in my old bedroom at my parents house and it was totally surreal. As I laid in my bed I realized that time does slip away quickly. It seems like only yesterday I was agonizing over getting asked to the prom! Now, I've been married for 14 years and have two preteen kids of my own. My parents have really aged and that totally freaks me out! Intellectually I realize that they are not young anymore but it is still a shock everytime I go home and see the changes in them. They are both gray and are slow moving. They don't drive at night and their life revolves around doctor's appts. They forget what they were trying to say and don't hear and see as well as they used too. On the positive side, they are both in excellent health and have a very good relationship with each other!!!! I guess I'm just struggling with the fact that things change so fast. It seems that everyday is a struggle and all I do is work and worry. When you finally take a minute to look around you realize that the people you love and the time you have with them is what matters the most. I'm going to try and worry less about finances and things that in the end don't really matter and try to devote my time into loving and being loved by friends and family. I just felt a need to share my new insight! They say you can't go home again and that's true. I wouldn't want to go back to being the person I was. I much prefer the person I am today. So friends, enjoy life and try not to let things get you down! I hope you all have a wonderful Easter and a very happy Spring!!!

**M55FF** · 03-23-2008, 11:27 AM

very insightful...
very true.

I went through the same thing, back in the hometown, seeing the parents age... coming to understand "you can't go home"
In my situation I feel I was lucky to be able to go back to my childhood enviroment, sleep in my old bed...
and experience it a few times before all the doors shut...
the parents died, the house was sold... now its just a memory.
( all physical elements removed)

Thats what it means you cant go home.. but you can keep the memories.
It does make you open your eyes to whats important but I found myself thinking more like that after my parents died, or after I was 40...
how precious life is and how little time we have on earth.

I can relate.

**Darlene** · 03-23-2008, 12:22 PM

Life is indeed bittersweet sometimes.

My best to you too!

**mombottoo** · 03-23-2008, 02:17 PM

It's amazing how a trip down memory lane can help put things in their proper perspective isn't it? It sounds like you had a nice trip home! Time does fly, I remember when my kids were little it seemed like some days they were never going to grow up...now, the youngest is going to be 25!!! What I wouldn't give to have do overs!

**quiltergirl2** · 03-23-2008, 02:36 PM

I think these are things we all have to deal with as we get older. But they don't have to be negative. As you have learned there can be positive lessons learned from the realization that time marches on.

For me the the "you can't go home again" experience is very real and concrete. My hometown was devestated by a flood in 2007. While my family home is still standing about half of the town is not. Talk about lessons on the fragility of life and the fleeting nature of material possessions.

I still have not been down there -- demolition is still being done and the air quality is very poor so my family is trying to keep me away as I have many allergies. But sooner or later we will go down there and reality will really hit.

This has all been reinforcement for me of the idea that life is not about collecting up material "stuff" that can be taken away in an instant. Life is about love, community and our connection to Spirit.

**Marie78** · 03-23-2008, 04:35 PM

Thank you for reminding me of how important it is to cherish the people we have in our lives right now. I don't live in the moment very often, I am always living in the past with my memories or in the future (where I will be happier).

It's sad when you realize home is different now (or your perspective of it is). I had to take apart my childhood bedroom last year and box up memories from years past. My father is in the process of selling it and hasn't lived there in over a year. I dream about my childhood home and lately it's been about strangers breaking into it, I can't believe I am having "jealous" thoughts at least on a subconscious level of new owners in my home. I haven't lived there in 7 years.

My parents both live in different homes with their new partners and those places have never felt like "home." Home will always be the tiny little house that I lived in for 20 years of my life and the place I identify as safe for me.

It's people that are most important though, and I might never have that feeling of "home" again until I raise my own children in the years to come and create new memories of "home" with them.

**mom2matty** · 03-23-2008, 05:30 PM

You know this post really hits home for me! My Mom turned 80 on the 20th of this month and I have spent a lot of time reflecting over the last couple of days. I know what you mean when you say you don't really see the age until you see them in person after not seeing them for a time. She has always been the same Mom she was when I was a very little girl and she would let me sit on her lap at her dressing table while she put on makeup or did her hair. Seeing her now makes me see that time is flying by and I am so very thankful for every minute I have had with her and I hope she lives another 80 years!!

**C@rol** · 03-23-2008, 06:41 PM

When you finally take a minute to look around you realize that the people you love and the time you have with them is what matters the most. I'm going to try and worry less about finances and things that in the end don't really matter and try to devote my time into loving and being loved by friends and family.

So beautifully said.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
with us and you have a wonderful Easter
holiday also.

**POOTERSMOMMY** · 03-24-2008, 05:00 PM

lovestolaugh, you are so very lucky that you can still go back home. Go often, and enjoy every moment you can with your parents. I know it's depressing to see them change, but it's worse when they are no longer there.
I thank God everyday for the gift of memory. What a wonderful thing to have. The old days are always in us, and no one can take them away.
Live, Laugh, and Love often.
You family is the most precious gift you will ever receive. Make the most of the times you have. They are precious.
Cheryl

**larabelle** · 03-24-2008, 06:25 PM

This really hit me today as I was with my parents yesterday (Easter). They are both in their seventies and there are so many changes in them. Dad can not drive at night, walks alot slower and processes information slower. Mom is still very alert mentally but she is also slower moving and is showing some depression. It is a little sad to see them aging. I did really enjoy being with them however but it just reminded me that they will one day be gone. Thank God for the time we do have together.

**mikandmari** · 03-24-2008, 10:53 PM

What a nice thread. It is scary how time marches on. I lost my Dad when I was 33. My Mom is turning 80, but she is fiercely independent. She is slowing down, and I worry about what will happen if she starts to need assistance, since I'm not that close.

**forHISglory** · 03-24-2008, 11:59 PM

What a nostalgic, meditative thread!

My parents are in their 80s, have poor health but great minds and humor. While I can still go to visit them, it is not in the same place where I grew up. I can "go home" to see them, even if it is not the same house. My age suddenly shrinks when I do so. I am 59, mind you, but in their house, I am their young daughter. Mom encourages me to eat, and Dad frets about my driving. I used to resent it; now I cherish this only place where I will forever be young!

The home where I grew up has been destroyed, yet a majority of my dreams are staged there. When I dream of being in a kitchen, a yard, a barn, it is always at the home of my childhood. I can go home again, if only in my dreams.

**AstarB1** · 03-25-2008, 08:38 AM

A very touching thread. I've been down a similar memory lane many times and I know how surreal it can be. Serves as a reminder to cherish the moments you're living now, because they will be only memories all too soon!

**M55FF** · 03-25-2008, 09:47 AM

What I miss the most is the smells of my families kitchen when growing up... we ate 100% home cooked, home made food. The smell of stews, soups, bread and skillet suppers were incredible.
You could sometimes smell the food cooking outside.
Looking at pictures brings back memories but only visual cues, not the whole enviroment, smell, touch, sounds...

**LuvMyHubby** · 03-25-2008, 09:55 PM

I truly envy those of you who have living parents to see and reflect upon. My mother passed away when I was very young twenty four years ago and well I have had little to no relationship with my father and I expect at his age some day he will be gone also. No, you definately can't go home but I am very happy for everyone who still can go home in a sense and still hug and kiss their parents.