I Feel As If I've Committed A Horrible Sin!

**many houseapes** · 03-28-2008, 10:37 AM

Dh recieved the best raise that he ever has w/ any company that he's ever worked for (3K yr added to his base pay) so.......
last night he wanted to take all of out to dinner to celebrate. For years,we had been wanting to treat the kids to the Chinese buffet -but for us, that was unthinkable( too expensive).Well, we broke down & did it anyway last night.

Even though the baby ate for free & 3 of the smaller houseapes had reduced cost meals & I ordered water to drink...the bill came to...........$99.02 plus a $12 tip for the waitress for waiting on our large family.

We did pay cash for all of it & it didn't take away from anything else in our budget....but I still feel so horrible for spending that much....I keep thinking of how we could have put that money toward something else - then I try to reason that it was okay b/c we were celebrating dh's good news.......still feel guilty,though.

**forHISglory** · 03-28-2008, 10:41 AM

Yes, that is a big bill. On the other hand, it's not as if this is a regular thing for you. A celebration is just that: CELEBRATE! It seems as if you have this under control since you paid with cash. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's important that your children share your celebration and understand the rarity and preciousness of it. And congrats on the raise!

**VanVivCam** · 03-28-2008, 10:47 AM

that's just silly...you all deserved it!!!!!

congrats on the raise for your hubby!!!!

celebrating the rewards in life is just part of the fun!!

I bet the children had the best time eating out with you all. Chin up because you did nothing wrong!!!

**larabelle** · 03-28-2008, 10:48 AM

A CELEBRATION IS A CELEBRATION!!! Celebrations do not come along very often. Yes, the bill was rather high but you had a worthy thing to celebrate relish the memory because there will be many times in the future as you eat your frugal meals that you can look back on the memory...and by the way smile and think of the good time that you had.

**McD** · 03-28-2008, 10:56 AM

I have found that the occasional splurge helps my family to stay on track frugally with less complaints.

It seems like a lot, but you made memories with your houseapes and celebrated your husband's success! Nothing to feel guilty about!

**Cricket1** · 03-28-2008, 11:06 AM

Congratulations. I bet the celebration was a memorable one to all the houseapes!

**Ceashels** · 03-28-2008, 11:21 AM

$112 for 2 adults and at least 4 children isn't that bad for a celebratory night out.

The next comments are not meant to be harsh or rude so please, please don't take offense by them.

In your post, you sound as if you almost regret your decision to celebrate. That you denied yourself something to keep the cost down (water instead of tea or soda/alcohol). I don't understand where your guilt is coming from but it comes across as very strong. If your guilt overshadows the celebration to the extent where you feel that horrible and regret it, then how many more memories and celebrations will be tainted in the future? Will you and your children learn to associate celebrating with guilt? Why celebrate at all then?

Aren't we frugal as often as we can be so we can enjoy the things we truely want out of life? Celebrating good fortune and making a memorable night for you, dh and the kids was priceless. Don't beat yourself up with guilt.
With all the hard work you put into beign frugal and raising your family YOU deserve to enjoy yourself when you make the decision to celebrate.

**dianne9106** · 03-28-2008, 11:27 AM

Congrats on the raise!! YAY for your family!!!
I would not feel bad about taking your entire family out to eat - you have a good sized family and eating out is not cheap. This was a celebration - not a every week kind of thing! Most folks will tell you that splurging is also included in being frugal - I think it's great to splurge when something great happens. Just yesterday we splurged - my DS16 got his drivers license! So my husband let him pick his treat - Pizza Hut stuffed crust. Not enough to feed the family until we were full and $13 for one pizza instead of $5 at Little Caesar's - but it was DS's treat. Same for you and your family - a special treat!!
Congratulations on the raise!!

Dianne

**luv-my-lexi** · 03-28-2008, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by VanVivCam

that's just silly...you all deserved it!!!!!

congrats on the raise for your hubby!!!!

celebrating the rewards in life is just part of the fun!!

I bet the children had the best time eating out with you all. Chin up because you did nothing wrong!!!

I'm sure it will be a great memory for all of you!!

**pip** · 03-28-2008, 12:34 PM

I say, let that guilty feeling go and feel good that you were able to do it!
You and your family deserved it.

**mombottoo** · 03-28-2008, 02:17 PM

When good things happen you deserve to celebrate and I think a $3000 raise is a darned good reason to celebrate...get off the guilt trip and make fond memories of that meal, rather than guilt ridden ones!

**C@rol** · 03-28-2008, 02:24 PM

Congratulations on the big raise!
That's such a wonderful thing. Don't spoil it by feeling bad about something you don't do that often. This was a "live a little" splurge. Enjoy that you did it.

**many houseapes** · 03-28-2008, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by Ceashels

$112 for 2 adults and at least 4 children isn't that bad for a celebratory night out.

The next comments are not meant to be harsh or rude so please, please don't take offense by them.

In your post, you sound as if you almost regret your decision to celebrate. That you denied yourself something to keep the cost down (water instead of tea or soda/alcohol). I don't understand where your guilt is coming from but it comes across as very strong. If your guilt overshadows the celebration to the extent where you feel that horrible and regret it, then how many more memories and celebrations will be tainted in the future? Will you and your children learn to associate celebrating with guilt? Why celebrate at all then?

Aren't we frugal as often as we can be so we can enjoy the things we truely want out of life? Celebrating good fortune and making a memorable night for you, dh and the kids was priceless. Don't beat yourself up with guilt.
With all the hard work you put into beign frugal and raising your family YOU deserve to enjoy yourself when you make the decision to celebrate.

Oh no offense

I truly did enjoy everything last night(I didn't mention my "guilty" thoughts to anyone- didn't want to ruin it).It's just that I'm not use to spending money like that for one meal out for everyone... & of course, those old critically frugal thoughts jumped into my head.lol. I really didn't feel deprived at all when I had water w/ my meal...I normally do so b/c I don't drink soda or tea.....but we all did have a great time & everyone had a big laugh about how many stares we recieved b/c there was alot of us.lol. It was worth it to watch the kids pig out

**cab54** · 03-28-2008, 03:43 PM

That really isn't that bad. Ya gotta have SOME fun!

Remind me NOT to tell you what we spent for TWO for our 30th anniversary last month!

**FrugalMomof3** · 03-28-2008, 04:44 PM

First off, I think it's great your DH got a raise and the dinner, although expensive was well deserved. Think about it, it's not like you go out to eat all the time