Why is it that

[frugalandsimple]

when someone asks "How's your day" or "How's your week going," the response is usually good or fine

Or if I ask them "What have you been up to?"" or "What did you do today" usually s the repsonse is Nothin'

I understand getting these kind of responses from a stranger but I get these kind of responses from people I know.

[AmyBoz]

I think for the most part, we have gotten used to asking these question in passing, where there is really only time for a short answer.

Also, a lot of people have a lot of things going on in their lives that they don't want to burden others with. So, when someone asks, "What's going on," rather than say, "Well, I'm waiting for some test results," or "My teenage daughter is pregnant," or "I don't know if we can pay the bills this month," they respond with "Nothing much," in order not to burden others.

I think at this point, it is just a conditioned response.

[BetterLateThanNever]

Because the person asking "How are you?' really doesn't want to know how the person is doing. It's a conditioned question just like "I"m fine" is a conditioned response.

[nodmicks]

It drives me nuts when someone calls my husband and I hear him say "he is doing nothing" no mater what we are doing. Drives me nuts!

[Dancing Lotus]

If I say nothing its because I am doing something that I don't think you really want to hear about. I think I am boring most of the time and I don't want to bore you with the details of my house work or potty training.

[sunshine]

I went to seminar a while back that stated :

Fine stands for:

Frustrated
Insecure
Neurotic
Exhausted

I think that's pretty much correct

The speaker said that giving your day a letter grade made much more sense. So when someone asks "How are you doing?" You reply " I'm an A+!" or "I'm a C -." It gives a much better answer. And if you actually try it, you get some interesting responses. If you say "I'm having an A+ day!" They'll ask you more. . . if you say "I feel like a D-." They'll ask what's wrong.

[Jellybeanz]

If I say nothing its because I am doing something that I don't think you really want to hear about. I think I am boring most of the time and I don't want to bore you with the details of my house work or potty training.

Ditto ! lol

[suki]

sunshine, I do believe I've seen the same speaker!


I have Crohn's Disease... some days you really don't want to know how I'm doing! "Well only 20 trips to the bathroom this morning and my butt is only slightly sore from wiping it so much... but, otherwise, I'm GREAT!"

[Cricket1]

Suki--although Crohn's is no laughing matter, I'm dying right now from that response! I would pay money to see how someone would react to that response!! :}

[cissylu]

I say okay because I figure they don`t want to hear about my problem`s.

[Marie78]

I think for the most part, we have gotten used to asking these question in passing, where there is really only time for a short answer.

Also, a lot of people have a lot of things going on in their lives that they don't want to burden others with. So, when someone asks, "What's going on," rather than say, "Well, I'm waiting for some test results," or "My teenage daughter is pregnant," or "I don't know if we can pay the bills this month," they respond with "Nothing much," in order not to burden others.

I think at this point, it is just a conditioned response.

I agree, it's a common response. I don't like to get too personal with people either, at work especially, even if I am friendly with them. On the other hand, if I have good news or things are going well, I am much more apt to share that news than the struggles in my own life.

When I say I am fine or good I am thinking of all the things I wouldn't want someone to know about my current life: Like health issues or the feeling like my life is at a stand still. I am freaked out about turning 30 at the end of this month because I haven't become the me I thought I would be:surprise:.

[Missy]

I find it saves my pride somewhat. It's easier to say I'm great, how are you " (redirect and let them answer with their life story.) I'd rather not share with people that my life feels like it's falling apart and that I am drowning here, grasping at straws.

PLus, yeah, it's a conditioned response. Just easier that way, ya know?