Opinion on kids chores

[mcphlips]

I have a DD7 and DS5 who are generally typical kids. DH and I feel that they should be able to chores around our house. They put their clothes away and pick up their toys, set the table and occasionally dust or vaccuum with us. I think they are also old enough to put their dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
I have a close friend whose children do very little chores. Her kids are by no means spoiled, but they don't help the family. My friend works part time ( I do not) and has more time to devote to keeping up her house on her own.

What are your opinions about kids and chores? Do you think with the ages of my children I am asking them to do too much? How many chores to your children do?

[StartingOver]

I believe kids should have chores. It teaches them about responsibility...it is just part of being a family. We all help one another.

I started giving my kids chores when they were in kindergarden.

My ds13 does: make bed everyday, cleans room, dusts upper and lower level, cleans cat box, keeps his bathroom clean.


My dd8 does: make bed everyday, keep room clean, empty garbarges, unloads dishwasher, help w/dusting

They both help w/clearning the table after meals and putting away their laundry.

So much of this becomes habit, I hardly ever have to ask for help anymore.

[happimommi]

I agree that children should help out around the house. They live there and help make the mess, they can help clean it up. They are also resposible for thier own rooms and stuff. My children are 15, 13, 11, and 5 and sometimes it is a bigger hassle to get them to do something, but MIL does everything for her children. She still has 3 grown children living at home and they treat her like a servant sometimes. I want better for my children.

[PrairieRose]

I think your kids are at a great age to 'train' to help out. You can't expect perfect jobs out of them every time but it's great that you're starting early with them. It will make your life (and their's) easier later on. (just don't be too hard on them when they balk and complain....b/c they will, just be firm) Jmho.

[AmyBoz]

My Dd (7) makes her bed each morning. She makes sure her room is clean and her laundry is in her laundry basket, and after I wash and dry it, she puts it in her dresser. She also clears the table after dinner.

My Ds(4) brings the garbage cans and recycling to the curb and brings up the empty cans. He helps fill the washing machine and move the clothes from the washer to the dryer. His chores are based on his interest. He loves to take those cans to the curb and back. He loves to fill the washer and dryer.

Ds (2) sets the table. It's not a "chore" per se, because at this point, I ask if he's in the kitchen with me while I'm preparing dinner. He really enjoys it. However, if he's playing happily, I don't seek him out and make him stop what he is doing to do it. He's only 2.

Things like yard work, etc, we all do together. However, if there is a major job that needs to be done and I seriously can't get to it all, I will make it an "earning job." Last weekend, there was SO much yardwork to be done, and dh and I couldn't get to it all. So, I told Dd that if she would pick up ALL of the sticks in the yard (big yard...trust me) I'd pay her $5.00. Three garbage cans full of sticks and two hours later, she got her $5.00, and in the meantime, dh and I were able to do all the raking and get it all into the street for the leaf truck to suck up. Ds (4) "helped" us rake and Ds (2) "helped" her pick up sticks. Her two hours also included climbing a few trees and taking a few swingset breaks, but it was tough work and she did it happily. She probably would have done it without the $5, but I also want them to know that sometimes, hard work is rewarded.

[yankeegal]

All great responses...I am a big supporter of giving children age appropriate chores-it helps them learn how to take care of their own houses when they leave the "nest."

[YankeeMom]

I think all kids should have chores. Not to say they should be loaded down with so much that they have no free time. When I was a kid, I was the oldest of six. We all had a whole room to clean every day (pick up, dust, sweep, mop, vacuum, etc).... plus regular chores like dishes, cooking dinner, keeping our rooms clean, laundry, bringing in firewood, etc. My parents had absolutely NOTHING to do except work and come home & tell us what to do. I refuse to have my kids be my slaves.

*sorry, a bit of a rant there *

That said, my kids do have chores. I do not work outside the home, but I think it's good for them for several reasons. It teaches them responsibility, it teaches them how to take care of a home so that when they are on their own they know how to do simple things like turn on the stove, empty the dishwasher, run a washing machine/dryer.

My kids have the following chores:
DD15: alternates putting away dishes w/ DD13 (I wash), scoops the litter boxes every other day, completely cleans the litter boxes once a week, cleans the mudroom top to bottom once a week. She also keeps her room clean, clears her place at the table, helps me put away leftovers, and washes her own laundry (her choice).

DD13: Alternates putting away the dishes w/ DD15, takes the dogs out every afternoon, vacuums downstairs every other day, cleans her room, clears her dishes from the table, brings her laundry downstairs to be washed, folds & puts away her own laundry.

DS9 (almost 10): feeds the dogs, clears the table after dinner, cleans his room, picks up downstairs (toys that are brought downstairs), helps take the trash & recyclables to the curb, brings in firewood, puts away his laundry (I fold).

DS6: sets the table, sorts recyclables into containers to be taken to the curb, helps pick up the downstairs (toys), cleans his room (with my help), helps put away his clothes, brings dirty laundry downstairs, clears his plate from the dinner table, helps bring in firewood.

[latierra84]

my kid brother and sister live with my dad. they have zero chores that theyre responsible for at their own house. my father works one job on the weekends and they come stay with me (friday thru sunday). he works another during the week.

i try to have lots of "fun" and learning type things planned out for us to do together because they watch way more than enough tv at home. when they are here they know to...

sister 9 - make her bed, keep all of her things in one place ie. shoes, sweater, overnight bag. she loves helping in the kitchen so setting the table and clearing it is something she enjoys. she also really loves to sweep for whatever reason so she does that without asking.

brother 13 - taking out trash, making up his bed, yard work, help cooking.

we dont do yard work or heavy cleaning every weekend. and because of the way that i was raised, i clean pretty much everyday. it calms me. i want it to become something that they are used to and is not seen as a "punishment" but more like something that just needs to be done. just part of life. you take something out.. put it back. you accidentally spill something, you clean it up.

honestly, my dad's house is a complete mess. ive tried to talk to them about taking pride in their home and ive helped them do major cleaning over there several times. the biggest problem is that there is no one there to make sure that things get done. my dad works from 5:30 am until 8 at night and that leaves the kids to do pretty much whatever they want and by the time he gets home, he's exhausted and goes straight to bed. when i go over after work (4 pm,so right around when school lets out) we do homework (which they pretty much disregard unless someone is there to make sure it gets done and hold them accountable) and then eat dinner and i still need to get home to dh after that. we live about 20 miles from them. im not sure what the solution to their problem is yet. ive thought about moving closer to them (which wouldn't be too far from work for me).

i used to let it stress me out quite a bit but the past few weeks ive learned to just breathe thru it. i need to learn to manage my time better when im over there.

my biggest fear is that they will fail in life. they are good kids, i just wish that they were a little more ambitious and knew that there was a whole world out there beyond the little part that they live in (ie. high school drop outs, 23 year olds with four children with four different fathers, drinking/smoking, and people bragging about what they just stole..) ive thought about them coming to live with me. two full grown kids and im only 23, sometimes i think i must be crazy to want to take them on. i dont want them to become statistics. i want so much more for them.

a little background - parents are immigrants. im the oldest. i got a full ride to an out of state university. my 22 year old brother is basically every parents worst nightmare, then the 13 year old brother then the 9 year old sister. the two younger ones that spend the weekend with dh and i, once the 13yr cried after a sit down dinner that we had. he said that he felt like someone actually cared about him and what he had to say. its... mind blowing because i was in their exact place ten years ago but i "made" it, and without help from anyone. i worry that without me, they wont.

sorry. i just had to let this out.

[MOMMYDEAREST]

I have 7 kids (1 baby 10mths) and all my kids have chores. Sunday is a big chore day. Daily, they have to keep their bedrooms clean, and keep their dirty clothes down the laundry shoot, plus put their laundry away. But on Sundays, I make out a chore list for each child, and they can decide if they want to do it in the morning, or in the evening. After each chore is finished, I check it out & mark it off their list. I believe every child needs chores, if they live in your house, they should contribute to the running of your home.

[angelbumpkin]

My kids have chores too. They live here make the mess so they need to clean up after themselves. I am mommy not the maid.

[hmcart]

My kids have chores too. They live here make the mess so they need to clean up after themselves. I am mommy not the maid.

Ha! I couldnt have said it better myself. Dh and I both work full time. Our kids have "lifetime chores" That means that they cant argue over whose turn it is to put the dishes away because that chore will be dd 10 until I say otherwise. Dd8 is responsible for cleaning up the playroom. If say dd8 argues that she didnt mess up the play room then I remind her that DD10 is cleaning her dishes. My kids know that if they keep up with their chores then they will have more fun time.

[blitzen]

My older son is 5, and we recently started giving him chores. He earns .25 each time he does them. His chores are to make his bed and feed the dog dinner. It's choice whether or not to do them, but he knows he doesn't get money if he doesn't do them. As he gets older, these chores will become expected of him without pay and we'll move on to other chores that he can earn money for. Our goal is to teach him to care for his home and the things and beings in it and to teach him about money, saving and spending.

[cab54]

My kids had chores.

My younger DS (21) now lives off-campus in an apt. that he and 3 other people rent. He is astounded how little his roommates clean and how little they know HOW to clean, or realize that it has become beyond dirty.
And he was my 'slob' at home here!!

He has already borrowed my carpet shampooer and cleaned the carpets at his place---all of them---and it sounds like he is the major organizer of cleaning chores there. Popular, I'm sure.

AND--both of my boys now realize why I tried to teach them responsibility, and they come home and say to me when they see me busy 'Is there something I can do to help, Mom?' :surprise:

[mcphlips]

It seems so logical to me to teach my kids about chores, but I was really thrown for a loop when we began discussing chores and kids with friends. My DH and I are very busy with our jobs, and felt like everyone pitching in with chores would give us more free time. I was amazed by the lack of chores that other kids around us do.

[joyofsix]

Like everyone else, I feel chores are wonderful for learning, responsibility, pride, dependability and family togetherness. My 7 and 4 yo are responsible for putting their laundry in the appropriate place, picking up toys, helping take out recycling and setting the table. I think what you are asking is totally reasonable. My kids have a chart. I rotate rooms each week. They aren't slaves but know if the trash needs taken out in "their" room or it needs swept, whatever, they need to do it.