I don't understand some people!

**Precious26** · 04-30-2008, 02:35 PM

I have a friend who I have known for 17years, I don't know why I didn't notice this before but it seems that when it comes to her and I going out or getting together it seems to be just all about her and nothing that we want to do.....I really dislike being a follower because I am far from that in fact I am a leader but I do acknowledge what others want to do before my own needs my other friends and I usually have alot of the same ideas or compromise to one another's needs.

I guess one of my delimmas was in regards to I am currently saving for my wedding for November and any of the ideas I came up with were low cost, mind you I would much rather cook at home.

Her and I have made plans to go out for dinner this Friday, but out of all places it's one of the worst places in the city in regards to crime it was evidently her idea, I mentioned to her that, that area is alot better during the day than at night but she just stared at me(the only time I go down to this particular place is when I have friends who are in the police force).

What would you do if you were in this situation? any advice would be great.

Thank you,

**Dancing Lotus** · 04-30-2008, 02:39 PM

I would tell her you aren't comfortable with going there and you would like to pick another place

**Precious26** · 04-30-2008, 03:29 PM

However I forgot to mention that anytime I have done something in regards to changing plans of any sort she throws a fit/Tantrum and she also has ADD(not that this means anything) really the delimma is the Tantrum that she throws whenever this happens.

Any other reccommendations?

**AmyBoz** · 04-30-2008, 03:33 PM

Precious...then let her throw the tantrum. If I knew that I could get whatever I wanted in life by thowing a fit and making people uncomfortable, then maybe I'd do it to. She does it because you and others allow her to do it.

Tell her that you aren't comfortable going there, and that if she'd like to go out, here are some other places that you would feel comfortable going. Then let her decide. Would she rather spend time with you or have her way?

**Precious26** · 04-30-2008, 03:45 PM

You are very right with that fact thank you again. I will post my concern and we shall see what happens.

**Darlene** · 04-30-2008, 03:52 PM

It's ok to say no and not give in to what everyone else wants. You have an opinion too, don't be afraid to give it.

Sounds like it might be time to let this friend go if after you let her know where things stand, she still continues. No fun having a one sided relationship where you and your thoughts are always pushed to the side.

ADD or not, she is an adult & responsible for her actions. Time for you to stand up, her to change or you should move on. jmo. Good luck!

**Precious26** · 04-30-2008, 04:01 PM

I fully understand what you are saying in fact I have thought about it a few more times than just now of letting her go because you know what I don't like one sided relationships it is exactly as you put no fun at all.

If things do continue the way that they are currently and she tends to reinstate to get her own way. I figure if she won't budge it's definitely time to tell her how it should be and where I stand.

Is it fair to wait until my Wedding considering she is invited because I was her Maid of honor last year at her's?

**jkelstaten** · 04-30-2008, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by Precious26

Is it fair to wait until my Wedding considering she is invited because I was her Maid of honor last year at her's?

If she's not really a true friend, I wouldn't worry about reciprocating. She has shown she doesn't value you, so you don't owe her anything.

**Darlene** · 04-30-2008, 04:20 PM

I'd give her this chance to make things right then if she continues I'd let her go before my wedding. She's got time to think that your relationship is worth changing for & if she doesn't agree well there you go, you have your answer & can move on knowing that you tried to make things work.
Hope she shines to.