DH depressed,anyone in a similar situation?

**iida** · 06-22-2008, 09:27 AM

My DH has been diagnosed with severe depression three years ago. He has been out of work since. A couple of months ago he tried working and it lasted three days. It seems like nothing is helping, not medication, not therapy. He is like a zombie these days, doesn´t sleep and has lost a lot of weight. He has many other medical conditions as well, like very unstable diabetes, high blood pressure and some mysterious liver condition.
He is a good man, doesn´t drink, is nice and a good father. But I am very worried. As I have cancer myself, I wonder how our illnesses affect our two children,DS17 and DD15.
Anyone else living with a depressed spouse? How do you manage? I can live with it, but sometimes it is hard.

**PrairieRose** · 06-22-2008, 09:34 AM

I don't personally but have had a family member who was for years. It's really tough. There should be some meds that should help......maybe you should switch dr.s...?

**Jskell911** · 06-22-2008, 10:52 AM

I am the spouse with depression here. And I can tell you it is very hard on my DH. He is the most wonderful and caring man, but when I get in my "zones" it makes him feel so helpless. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.

Yes, try different meds. I was on 4 before I found one that works well for me. While it is no cure, it makes things so much easier.

**familyof3** · 06-22-2008, 12:55 PM

iida,

I don't have the experience you're having but I am an adult child of a mom who suffered from some various forms of depression and mental illness.

Keep searching for meds that work. Also, consider counseling or therapy for yourself and your children if necessary. Your whole family needs to stay mentally healthy.

**iida** · 06-22-2008, 01:00 PM

He has tried many many different meds, but nothing really seems to help. Or they help, but not enough. He may be a little better, but then he doesn´t sleep, or he sleeps too much. He has been offered group therapy, but he said no.
Thanks for your answers.

**grneyegrl** · 06-22-2008, 01:27 PM

well if he doesnt get his diabetes under control he will never get better..i fear the uncontrolled diabetes has damaged his body and he is slowly going under.. sorry to be the bearer of bad news..he needs to test his blood and get moving.. once he does this for a month or so he should start to feel better.

**staciah** · 06-22-2008, 01:29 PM

I also suffer with depression not as severe as your DH. I have been take Wellbutrine for almost 3 yrs now and it has helped me alot. I still have my days but they are not as bad as they used to be.

My DS#1 14 yrs also suffers with depression plus other mental illnesses. We have had him on many different meds. The only thing that has seemed to work is also Wellbutrine.

I know how hard it can be. Try to get some help, it may work this time. Do not give up.

**iida** · 06-22-2008, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by grneyegrl

well if he doesnt get his diabetes under control he will never get better..i fear the uncontrolled diabetes has damaged his body and he is slowly going under.. sorry to be the bearer of bad news..he needs to test his blood and get moving.. once he does this for a month or so he should start to feel better.

I know. This is something that really worries me. Every condition he has, is very unstable and not responding well to meds. His doctor said that he has very bad genes. He is only 42 and has had high blood pressure from the early twenties. Still, no drug or any combination of drugs he had used, has not helped enough to bring his blood pressure to the normal level. His medication for bp and diabetes is already maximal. I think that these physical things may have a lot to do with his depression.

**Drgnfly423** · 06-22-2008, 02:03 PM

My husband was depressed and still is somewhat and it can be hard to deal with...they are supposed to be OUR rock, right? I though of this article I read a couple years ago about Emme the model and her husband, he suffered from severe depression. Maybe it will interest you, too. http://psychcentral.com/lib/?p=638

**PrairieRose** · 06-22-2008, 02:19 PM

Another thing that I thought of iida is to get him to get even a small amount of sunshine and fresh air every.single.day. I know it might not seem like much but for some people it makes a huge difference.

**jvera** · 06-22-2008, 02:37 PM

I was treated by regular doctors for depression for several years and took zoloft however it really did not help me. However when I changed medical providers my new doctor said I needed to see a phycaitrist (spelling?) and he diagonosed me as bipolar and started me on different medications and they made all of the difference. So if your husband is seeing a general doctor please consider going to a phycaitrist.

**iida** · 06-24-2008, 12:06 PM

He is seeing psychiatrist (sp?) They have done all kinds of tests, he is not bipolar or anything. My brother is bipolar, and the only drug that really helps him, he can´t take, because it takes his white blood cells so down it is dangerous. I guess it just isn´t easy to find a suitable treatment with mental illnesses. I have cancer and I get a lot of sympathy from people, but if you are mentally ill, it is different.
Thank you for sharing your stories, all of you.

**IntlMom** · 06-24-2008, 12:54 PM

(((hugs)))
You sure have alot happening right now. I'm sorry.

**pip** · 06-24-2008, 05:24 PM

I don't have any advice for you, but I wish you and your family the best.

**froggy** · 06-29-2008, 04:49 AM

I am the one in our family who suffers from depression. Although in saying that my whole family probably suffers in some kind of way. See your doctor about meds, I tried many different one's before I started to feel even remotely better.

I am lucky that I have a loving and compassionate family and I think that really helps to pull through on the down days.

But with the right meds I don't have many down days.

Cheers froggy