I just want to cry!

**doodlebug** · 04-16-2003, 10:27 PM

I'm feeling so down about myself right now, I'm afraid to get on the scales because I know it will be bad news. I just don't understand why I can't leave food alone

I do ok for a few days or maybe a week and then I just lose it and start eating whatever, whenever. Now that the weather is warm I feel really rotten about the way I look, shorts look awful, skirts look awful, and I don't even want to think about wearing a swimsuit to go to the pool with dd. I'm just so tired of being fat and never having clothes fit right or look good and I'm so tired of being exhausted and feeling ashamed of the way I look. But do you think I can leave the food alone??? No. And I just don't understand why. Sorry for the whinning but I just feel so down right now

**heavensent_7** · 04-16-2003, 10:31 PM

Awwww

I have to admit I don't have the faintest idea how you feel - I'm an annorexic! I guess it must be the same but in reverse? I do get depressed though and I can hear that bit loud and clear!

I do hope things look up for you soon, I am thinking of you anyway. Sorry I can't be of any help.
Lots of Love
Bev. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**captclearance** · 04-16-2003, 10:42 PM

Oh Dana, I've spent my adult life overweight, I know how you feel, it's not easy(at least at first) but you just have to decide on change. It sounds so simple, but lots of friends of ours are finding success here, there is support for you here... {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

**Dixie** · 04-16-2003, 10:43 PM

Doodlebug{{{hugs}}} I could have written your post, myself. I hope I'm not out of line, but have you considered attending an overeaters anonymous meeting. My mil and sil have benefited greatly from OA.

**halo475** · 04-17-2003, 05:49 AM

{{{HUGS}}} Doodlebug-BTDT I know exactly how you feel!! I know how difficult this is and have no great words of wisdom, just hugs and lots of support. Pm me if you ever want to chat.

**heavensent_7** · 04-17-2003, 06:28 AM

I know I don't know anything about being overweight so maybe I should shut up? BUT 12 step meetings are EXCELLENT - I have attended a number of them for myself and with others. It's a Great programme!

**Ellise** · 04-17-2003, 08:06 AM

Dana, hon, I know where you are coming from on BOTH!! I get depressed too and I look terrible in shorts (but I wear them anyway). Have you considered WW or TOPS? (Take off pounds senceably)(sp?) My MIL does the TOPS and looses lots of weight but then turns right back around and gains more back.

If you lived closer we could walk and help each other out.
I need to lose about 50 lbs, so if you'd like we could be each others support? LMK
Love & Hugs

**Belinda** · 04-17-2003, 08:08 AM

Dana, I know how you feel, at one point in my life I was 100 pounds overweight, and usually every Monday morning I would tell myself, today I'm starting a diet, and I might make it for 2 or 3 days, then I would eat, or should I say overeat, and hate myself even more. It's a vicious cycle.

It's true what someone posted above, you have to make a head and heart connection before you can start. Something clicked for me and in 1997 I joined Weight Watcher's and by October of 1998 I had lost 100 pounds. But still I struggle, a medical diagnosis that I received in early 1999 set me back some, I was depressed and you know how we emotional eaters are, I ate, and ate, till I had gained back about 1/2 of what I'd lost. Now I'm working on getting back to my goal.

You know every time I've struggled and failed, and picked myself up to start again, I notice I'm stronger, that I've learned more about myself, and I'm convinced (hopeful?) that the next time, that stress comes my way, I can deal with it in ways other than using food.

Hope this isn't too rambling, and I hope that it helps, feel free to PM if you want to talk.

**simplemom** · 04-17-2003, 08:42 AM

Oh, Dana....

I know how you feel about food....Dear Dana, I wish I could chnage that for you, but I don't know how...I have the same problem. Food is always in my head, whether I eat healthy or too much. I do want to send you lots of ((((((hugs))))))).

If there is something I could say(which I have a hard time to do)----Take extreme special care of you. I think that is the very first step to do. You will see after if it will be easier for you to lose weight. And NEVER deprive yourself of a treat you like. It will make you want to eat more and more, until you finally eat your favorite food.

I hope I could help...Remember: Take very good care of YOU.

Lucie

**homesteadmamma** · 04-17-2003, 08:56 AM

Dana, I too know how you feel. I've such a huge amount to lose I haven't even mentioned how much here. I too love food and think of it often.

I think the biggest thing for us that are overweight is we have to first find out the reason why we eat and then begin to do something about it. I find I eat when I'm bored or when I'm discouraged. I've taken a step in the past 2 weeks to change that and its one day at a time. At times, its one hour at a time, but in the past 2 weeks, I'm beginning to finally get a handle on it.

Were here for you, to encourage you, to listen to you and to just be here for you. Sending you lots of

to let you know many of us are in the exact same boat!!! We can do this together!!!!

**Darlene** · 04-17-2003, 09:19 AM

So many wonderful caring friends here. I too struggle with eating and wasn't too happy the other day when it got warm and I started thinking of what I was going to wear this summer. I knew this time was coming months ago & said I'd be bunches of pounds lighter by now and well, that didn't happen. I'm just going to try to make a conscience decision to really think of why I want what ever and then decide if I really want it.
Be good to yourself and remember we all are so much more than our packaging and that hurting ourselves by belittling ourselves is just wrong. Take good care & remember there are bunches of us in the same boat.

**vecollins** · 04-17-2003, 09:55 AM

i definately know how you feel, my weight goes up, my weight goes down, kind of like a merry-go-round!!!!

sometime you just gotta laugh to keep from

I say, shoot I can just look at a "sweet" or some

and i feel the pounds creeping on, that is why i love the spring and summer because i tend to stay outside alot more working in the yard and walking so it does help some..
Also depression sometimes makes you want to eat if there isn't anything else to do.
Hold your chin up high and know that you are a wonderful person and take it one day at a time, and inch by inch it'll come off...That is what i tell myself......we'll make it one day at a time..

**doodlebug** · 04-22-2003, 08:21 PM

Thank you so much everyone for your support and encouragement, you ladies are all so wonderful

I'm feeling better and am getting back on track again with the dieting, I got on the scales this morning and am very happy to say that I am still down by 2 pounds, even though I know it had to have gone up quite a bit higher than that a couple weeks ago because I could feel it in my clothes. So I'm drinking water and watching portions and trying to get the scales moving down again. No exercise right now because I'm in the middle of an arthritis flair-up and my knee and elbow just can't handle anything right now, but as soon as I'm better I'm going to start back with the exercising. Again, thanks for all your encouragement, sending each of you a big (((HUG))), you all are so wonderful!

**justjenn** · 04-22-2003, 11:23 PM

I know exactly how you feel, and looks like we aren't alone! That's always comforting.

I feel soo huge, but I just love food. I am having a really hard time with my dieting plan right now. I have fallen off the wagon, and just can't seem to get back up.

You can do it!

**Phaedrae** · 04-24-2003, 11:20 PM

Dana,

I know how you feel. I looked in the mirror and I try so hard not to... but in this place they have two mirrors in both bathrooms.

I started crying the first time I caught my reflection. I honestly didn't realize that I had let myself go this far. I am have planned on getting up and excercising more often but then I find myself making excuses not to. I am trying to eat healthier but then something upsets me and I feel like after my two steps forward I have taken ten backwards. Currently I am trying smaller steps. Cutting down to 1 pop a day if even that, trying to avoid fast food for lunch and dinner, eating more salads for lunches, avoiding desert all together. It's not much to some people but it's a very good start in my opinion...

I wish you luck and want you to know that I am here if you want to vent.

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