Bipolar Disorder Questions

**Nada.Leona** · 10-11-2005, 09:33 PM

Hi ladies and gents (didn't know there were so many gents around here!

)

I have some questions for anyone who either has bipolar or who has a partner who is bipolar, particularily those who are taking lithium. Does anyone have any experience in this line?

**Mopsiehoney** · 10-12-2005, 12:03 AM

Well I'm not sure if I have answers to your questions but my sister-in-law is bipolar and takes lithium. Also I work in a mental health group home so I know a bit more than the average person about bipolar. I'd be happy to talk to you....

**Missy** · 10-12-2005, 12:24 AM

I am bipolar, but I can't afford my meds. I have found other ways of management and have learned what to watch for in my behaviour.

My depression meds:Celexa, Zoloft (bad, bad, bad), Paxil, and so on (when I was able to afford them) seemed to help alot. I am in therapy and that helps tremendously.

**Missy** · 10-12-2005, 12:25 AM

The depression meds may not have actually helped my being bipolar, but I think that helping the depression helped in that it was one less thing causing stress...

**Nada.Leona** · 10-12-2005, 05:50 AM

Okay then. Thanks so much!

1. My DH takes lithium for his bipolar (he's Type 1) and while it certainly does help, he finds it gives him a lot of discomfort in his stomach. I'm concerned it will eat away at the lining of his stomach and cause him further damage down the road. Any thoughts on this?

2. Also, my DH is very jealous of my best friend (who is male). He really doesn't like my best friend and when I go out to visit with him -- which is rarely, as he lives three hours away and I only ever see him when he comes to my town to visit his family -- my DH gets very sulky and paranoid. The paranoia is what aggrivates me. He will sulk around the apartment for hours, stand right over my shoulder and watch what I do on the computer (my all time pet peeve!) and makes mean comments about my friend and I both, such as he doesn't trust me, that I make him miserable, etc. I don't care that he doesn't like my best friend (his best friend is a woman and I'm not overly keen on her, either) but this foolish paranoia that comes over him whenever I spend any time with my friend really gets on my nerves, since I don't deserve the mean things he says about me (nor my best friend).

Any responses would be appreciated.

**PrairieRose** · 10-12-2005, 10:07 AM

I'm not nor is my dh bipolar or on lithium but we have lived for years with dh's nephew (actually he lived just a couple of blocks away from us) who had severe Bipolar disorder and took lithium---when we could get him to. First of all

I would talk to the dr. about the tummy discomfort. It's possible that he could be taking something like Prilosec for that but I'm not sure about the interractions, the dr. could be of huge help there.

As far as the other *issue*. I have to say, I wouldn't be thrilled for my dh drive 3 hours to see another woman, even if it was his lifelong best friend (b/c that's supposed to be my role) so I'm not a good one to advise you on that subject. I will say that Gripey and I have an agreement about if anyone makes either of us uncomfortable we'll limit our exposure to that person b/c the other person in our marriage is much more important than outsiders, even good friends. This may not be what you want to hear and I agree that your mates' reaction is extreme but I would do my best to limit something like that which is so upsetting to him. JMHO.

**Nada.Leona** · 10-12-2005, 03:23 PM

PrarieRose:

Thanks for your input. The biggest problem facing us right now is that my DH's doctor is on maternity leave and won't be back til next August. :S She had no one else she could recommend him to and any general practicianer (sp?) we've encountered has told us they are not taking new patients, or that they "don't take students" (it's a University town and DH is a student, though we live here in town year round).

The other issue about my friend: I can understand your point, and do agree, and if it were that simple, I'd accept my DH's feelings. However, things are never that simple.

I feel his feelings are greatly unjustified because for the first six years of our relationship, I had to deal with the fact that his best friend, a woman, has had feelings towards DH and would repeat them every time she saw him and I wasn't around. He made it clear that he wasn't interested in her romantically, though he and I discussed it several times and he has admitted to having feelings for her a long time ago, though he says he no longer has romantic inclinations toward her anymore. I trust my DH and I have no problem with her being his friend. I do not even have trouble with her being his friend or having feelings for him -- it happens, I accept that. People grow to love those that they are around a lot. It happens a lot. If she has feelings for him, I can readily accept that. Even if he had feelings for her still, I could accept that. (I'm a fairly easy going and non-judgemental person.)

I do not like her as a person; I preceive her as being very selfish and judgmental, and very self-important. That's simply my personal view. She seems to me to be the type whole bend over backwards for you, but take your wallet out of your back pocket on the way -- not a thief, but a very selfish individual. Again, that's simply my take on her and my DH has fairly good judgement.

However, I regard my best friend as a wonderful and intelligent person, and while I care about him greatly, I do not have romantic inclinations towards him, nor does he to I. We are simply very good friends. DH and I went through an extremely rough time about a year ago and when I needed someone, my best friend was there for me, no matter what time of day or night, what weather (he actually walked through a snow storm once to make sure I was safe) and I trust him very much. I wouldn't give him up as my friend for anything, he's very important to me. Having said that, my DH can't seem to accept that and can't get past the "fact" that he's a man and men are evil and all want me (this is his train of thought, not mine.)

In any case, like I said, my big issue here is not that DH has to like my best friend, but I am tired of feeling guilty and angry every time I spend any time visiting my friend! :S I don't feel his paranoia is justified. If that's the case, why should I not ask him to stop seeing his best friend? She is just as important to him, but to say that she shouldn't come to visit him or he to go see her simply because I don't like her is not valid. I'm just tired of being made feel an inch big because I have a male friend.

**PrairieRose** · 10-12-2005, 05:33 PM

I understand where you're coming from. I have a dear friend who is a man as well. I don't see him when my dh isn't around though. I just don't want to cause any fodder for gossip (not that you do, I'm not saying that) and for my own comfort zone, etc... . You shouldn't have to be made to feel guilty about your dear friend. But at some point (here's my nickel's worth of free advice) a person who is in a relationship has to decide what's most important (not to say that you should be cut off from the outside world, b/c I don't believe that way at all). Is the harmony of a happy relationship more important or is your friendship more important? And if this is truly just a symptom of your SO's illness then there may be no easy answer. I'm sorry if I made you feel worse, that was not my intent. I just have strong feelings due to something that happened to me personally that I shared with you. You may need to seek out some more qualified help, if you see a future in your current relationship. I hope you find the peace that you need.

**patra** · 10-17-2005, 09:42 AM

Hi -

I just saw this thread(Ive been absent for a time)Im severely bipolar-I cant remember one or two- the one with manic episodes-
I take quite a few medications,and have been stable for five years now and have had a baby.She is a year old.I was diagnosed at nineteen and took lithium for a year.It is a good medicine one of the first used in treating bipolar,and is basically a salt I think, there are side affects with all medications and maybe this is what your dh fears?I take topamax,abilify, risperdal and celexa.I have accepted that I need my medication though it has taken about fifteen years for me to come to this point.It has been a lot of struggle many hospitalizatons and a good deal of heartache for myself and my family.paranoia is a big part of it I saw that you said he looks over to see what you are doing-I am ever vigilant of what my husband is doing he is a patient man, and very supportive.I dont know where I am going with this-but I have a lot of experience with it-I have years of personal experince being bipolar-I have to go my daughter needs me-but ill come back on again.

patty