Dealing with Dental/Medical "Pressure" and kids?

**brokemom** · 09-26-2006, 02:35 PM

How do you deal with the pressures of going to the Dentist or Doctor and they want to do this and that to your children and then make you feel if you don't follow their plans you're in last place for mom of the year? Took my kids to the dentist today and my 7 year old has an underbite and the dentist wants (really really really wants) to do a head gear type thing to help correct it. And from what I understand it's not a total given that will fix it. He also said surgery would work. GULP!! And the whole time it's the unsaid "a good mom wouldn't hesitate to do this for her child". And how do you turn down any type of thing they want to do, like x-rays. Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think the x-rays all the time are needed but again it's the "this is what you should do and if you don't BAD MOM! Any make any sense of what I'm saying here?!

**Missy** · 09-26-2006, 02:51 PM

I understand what you are saying. I haven't had it happen to me directly, but i do understand.

i don't have an answer for you.

**Dedlered** · 09-26-2006, 02:51 PM

No dental professional should ever speak to you like that or infer that you are not doing what is best for your child. An orthodontist is a person you and your child will be seeing a lot of so you need to feel comfortable with him/her. If you do not feel comfortable, I would suggest that you seek a 2nd opinion.

As far as x-rays go, most orthodontist will want a panoramic xray and a ceph x-ray. Once you have these taken, and they are paid for (by insurance or you) they are yours and you can bring them to another orthodontist when you seek your 2nd opinion

I have no information on underbites, my son had an overbite that was corrected with a Herbst Appliance

**frugal.lass** · 09-26-2006, 03:58 PM

I haven't ever been in your situation since I don't have kids but I DO get pressure at the dental office to get things done. In my dentist's eyes, my teeth are just barely straight enough (although, I have friends who have assumed I've had braces because my teeth are "so straight") although they could use some whitening. My teeth work fine, they enable me to chew food and nourish myself but cosmetically, to him they could be improved. (Frankly, My teeth and I are very happy with each other...lol) Now, seriously, if your child is having some kind of practical issue because of the underbite then maybe the dentist has a point but more than likely, he's looking at the cosmetic side of things (and of course all the

he'll pocket if you do elect to do it). Hold your ground and don't feel guilty about it. Tell him you'll think about it and then, if you get a call at home it will be easier to say no over the phone.

And just FYI...my first dental appointment EVER was when I was 16. My parents never saw the need to take me before that (never had any problems) and I have never thought they were bad parents for it. Depending on how severe the underbite is you might even want to talk to your 7-year old about it. If it's a more pronounced underbite, they might feel very self-conscious about it (I can tell you that as a kid I saw people with severe overbites or underbites get teased) and that *might* be something to take into consideration but if it's not a life or death issue nobody has the right to make you feel like a bad parent because you aren't having every possible dental procedure done on them.

I'm standing behind you on this one!!

**pita1213** · 09-26-2006, 05:22 PM

i replied to your other thread but will reply here to since you have you son's age in the post. unless there is something the under bite is impeding like chewing, i would not have it corrected now especailly if it's not bother your son.
a simple answer is usually the best when dealing with pressure from doc's or dentists. something simply like i'll discuss this with my husband, or i don't think that is in the best interest of my son right now. the only x-rays my kids have had for their teeth was at the first visit last year at ages 9 and 7. i was upfront with the doc that i wasn't prepared to pay for that right then so unless the insurance would cover it, we couldn'thave it done. he was very understanding about it and had the insurance person in the office call and find out if they were covered and said that whatever amount they didn't cover, they would just write off. we have never been pressured to do anything thankfully as i do like the way he treats the kids.
if the dentist still keeps trying to pressure you, just keep saying the same response back to him. and if you are feeling gusty enough, after having to say it 4 or more times, get up and leave. just say thank you for your time and get up and leave. of course this is assuming your son isn't in a chair with intruments in his mouth, but if he is in the chair, just say come along jr, we're leaving now. then go find another dentist.

**pita1213** · 09-26-2006, 05:23 PM

oh and if he's really pushing surgery, get a second opinion. though i'd get one even for the head gear option.

**Valerie in WA** · 09-26-2006, 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by frugal.lass

...I DO get pressure at the dental office to get things done. In my dentist's eyes, my teeth are just barely straight enough ... although they could use some whitening. My teeth work fine, they enable me to chew food and nourish myself but cosmetically, to him they could be improved. (Frankly, My teeth and I are very happy with each other...lol) Now, seriously, if your child is having some kind of practical issue because of the underbite then maybe the dentist has a point but more than likely, he's looking at the cosmetic side of things (and of course all the

he'll pocket if you do elect to do it). Hold your ground and don't feel guilty about it. Tell him you'll think about it and then, if you get a call at home it will be easier to say no over the phone.

...I'm standing behind you on this one!!

ITA!

**Laurie in Bradenton** · 09-27-2006, 08:12 AM

I outright asked my dentist when he pushed for braces for both my kids. If they don't get them will it effect them over their lifetime? Of course he said "No, but their teeth won't be perfect." Well since neither of my kids are headed for the model runways or t.v. I elected not to have braces and DS now 21 is doing just fine and DD who turns 13 today just had her first visit last Sat. to a new dentist who said her teeth were perfect. Our old dentist had a corner on the market as he was the only kid dentist in our town for the last 20 years. We also pay out of pocket for everything so I ask the hard questions , like life long effect?
So stand your ground and don't feel bad.
Laurie in Bradenton

**Neeley** · 09-27-2006, 08:28 AM

If it were me and I was not comfortable with what my doc or dentist was recommending, I would get a second opinion. From there if they both advised the same thing I would have to follow their advise. I would seek the opinion of an orthodontist and do some research to see if the underbite could possibly cause jaw problems in the future. But in the end you need to do what you are comfortable with doing.