Worry, health, wellness..........

**PrairieRose** · 11-03-2006, 10:19 AM

Do you ever feel like all you do is worry? Do you feel like if you don't worry, bad things will happen? Do you feel like you 'should' worry about this or that or if you don't you'll punished for not worrying?

Honestly consider what every minute of worry time you've spent in your life has netted you. Has it changed a single thing? I can remember thinking that if I didn't worry about something and 'it' happened that I would in some way be to blame for it happening. Having typed that out now, I can see how ridiculous it sounds and that is because it is ridiculous. We have no control over the universe. I've recently come to the conclusion that the only control I have over anything is my own conscious thought and my reactions to events in my life. Otherwise, something much bigger than myself is in control of life.

I have a df here that has in the past urged me not to worry about things I couldn't change. To live a more carefree life, stress free life and I agree that's it all about the choice to do so. Naturally I'm not saying that bad things won't ever happen again or that I won't find cause to worry from time to time but I won't waste my precious life worrying about possibilities---the worst of---the bad things that are bound to come to everyone sooner or later---or the oh wow what if's anymore. Anyone want to join me in the quest to live more, worry less?

**Scattymum** · 11-03-2006, 10:39 AM

ill join you on a worry free quest.

thinking about it i have probably spent 9 out of last 12 months worrying about things i cant change anyway while life just goes right on by - ridiculous really, it makes you think

**Darlene** · 11-03-2006, 12:00 PM

Good for you Lisa! Count me in!

Learning what I can from mistakes and tough times and just letting it go. Keeping it with me just ages me, makes me miserable and stops me from getting my beauty sleep.

Need all the room I can in my head & heart for good stuff, not junk I can't change or do anything about.

**suzysaver** · 11-03-2006, 12:11 PM

I'm in. I try not to worry too much, your right it doesn't change the outcome of anything...what happens..happens. My husband has trouble with this over work things, something will happen and he will go over it and over it for days. My worst time is night, you all know that one. You wake up and some little thing seems like a huge problem in the middle of the night, and then you wake up and think good grief..what was that all about. I must say since joining the frugal lifestyle I have made less worries and with an Ef fund I feel I have some kind of a net...at least for the money worries. There will always be health worries and what ifs ? Funny I always felt like if I worried too much it would happen, sounds just as silly.

**pinetree** · 11-03-2006, 01:32 PM

OK, I'm in, but how do you do it? It does sound crazy, especially after you wear yourself out over some stupid little thing that you "have " to worry about, but its hard to stop.

I was watching someone on the tube the other night & he was saying, "see things the way you want them." So when the bills came in the other day I tried it, saying "this is paid, yep this ones paid." Well, I sat down & wrote out bills, & behold, they are all paid !!! I even have some money left over,, can't beleive it.

So am going to try this for awhile,, the total positive side.. Its better than driving yourself crazy worrying about how to pay them..

**Darlene** · 11-03-2006, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by pinetree

OK, I'm in, but how do you do it? It does sound crazy, especially after you wear yourself out over some stupid little thing that you "have " to worry about, but its hard to stop.

I was watching someone on the tube the other night & he was saying, "see things the way you want them." So when the bills came in the other day I tried it, saying "this is paid, yep this ones paid." Well, I sat down & wrote out bills, & behold, they are all paid !!! I even have some money left over,, can't beleive it.

So am going to try this for awhile,, the total positive side.. Its better than driving yourself crazy worrying about how to pay them..

I just look at it like "what can I do to make this better?" With that "seeing things the way you want them" I'd try to figure out what I need to do to get myself to where I wanted to be. Helps me focus and know that the tough times won't be forever, I can see my way thru. It may not happen right away like a money tree to pay the bills but I can find my way through. You can find your way through. Hope this makes some kind of sense.

**tbs727** · 11-03-2006, 02:43 PM

I need help with this too. I would love to hear more suggestions on how NOT to worry.

**JustJoy** · 11-03-2006, 03:08 PM

I'm in too. I've actually been working on this for about 6 months now.

**starsapphire** · 11-03-2006, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by tbs727

I need help with this too. I would love to hear more suggestions on how NOT to worry.

I used to literally make myself sick with worry.

I got SO sick and tired of feeling that way, I was desperate to change. I'm not sure what specific steps I took to change. What I can say is that it was a deep mental shift. Looking at the world, and my part in it and looking deep within myself and changing my perceptions and very importantly, my thought patterns made a big difference. Praying and giving all the worry to God helps ALOT. It takes time and conscious effort, it doesn't happen overnight. I still occasionally worry about things, its human nature. But I don't obsess with worry, it doesn't have a stranglehold on me anymore.

**Nada.Leona** · 11-03-2006, 10:08 PM

lol If only I could get my MOTHER to join!

But I'll join, since I'm so much like her. My problem is I worry about other people, especially

.

For the longest time, I pestered him to get insurance on his apartment. He kept procrastinating and procrastinating (he's good at that

) and I kept nagging and nagging. Finally he snapped and said to stop pestering him about it -- he was a grown man, he could take care of his own business. I got really upset, and he appologized for snapping at me, but we talked it out. It made me realize how much I bugged him when I did that sort of thing and it really hit home when I realized how irritated I got at MY mother when she did the same things to me!

So I talked to both

and my mother and she and I are trying to work at not pestering people to do things we think they need to do. It's not easy, but we're trying.

says I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be.

The other day I knew he was beat and he had set his alarm for 10 a.m. to get up and get ready for work. I was half thinking of calling him to make sure he'd actually get up in time. But I forced myself not to, because I could identify that voice as my mother in my head, and I knew it would irritate him. He's a grown man, and if he sleeps in and is late for work, it's his own fault. Of course, he got up and got to work on time, no harm, no foul.

**mnmarty03** · 11-05-2006, 08:11 AM

I'm in! Unfortunately, I too got the "worry gene" from my mother. I'm the girl who was diagnosed with an ulcer in the seventh grade! A little extreme, I know. I worry a lot about stupid stuff that doesn't matter. Or I'll imagine ways that a situation could go badly. For instance, I'll have something to tell my fiance, and for some reason I'll imagine him reacting badly to it. So that puts me on guard and makes me not want to tell him... and then when I finally do tell him, his reaction is no where near what I thought it would be. I also worry about other people a lot, because I care a lot about other people.

Thankfully I have gotten better than this. God has been teaching me this semester to let go and let Him handle it, and also that God has a plan for my life, and even though that plan may not be what I really really want, that His plan is still the better of the two. Since my fiance and I are in the middle of figuring out our plans for the future (with me graduating in the spring, and us trying to decide when to have him come here so we can marry), not worrying is important! Otherwise, I'll just make myself sick...

**redmaples** · 11-05-2006, 09:26 AM

Thank you for reminding me with this thread not to worry so much about things out of my control. The Serenity Prayer heps :

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage, to change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference.

when I forget the prayer I can get back into the worrying cycle.

**emily_hope** · 11-05-2006, 10:17 AM

I need to jump in here. I am a worrier. I would like to not be. I just don't know how to turn it off. I get something in my mind and it just stays there until something gets decided/settled. My DD17 says she just doesn't think about things that bother her. But I can not do that.

**pinetree** · 11-05-2006, 01:00 PM

Exactly!! You can make yourself sick, you know you are doing it, but then still can't stop.
They say "cast your cares.. " well I guess I just cast them back into my own head.
Example, took the son & fiance, to airport this morning at 5:30, for a 2 hour flight to Las Vegas.. well its 5 hours later & they arent there yet!! Last I heard they were in Arizona!!!! Now HOW do I not worry?????
I don't understand how to just let it go.??

**jaciwiz** · 11-21-2006, 11:25 AM

I"ve been working on this for years. Two things are helping me...but I must say I'm far from 'cured'. One is to NOT let myself run scripts in my head of bad things happening. If I catch myself doing that, either imagined scenerios or actual ones that went badly, I have a phrase that I tell myself so that I stop, and then I force myself to think of something happy. The second thing is I had a huge fear of being alone at night. I"d picture all sorts of terrible things happening. My husband started working nights a little over a month ago. I slept - or didn't really sleep - with all the lights on for a week. Then I found a bible verse that says 'I did not give you the spirit of fear'. Funny how one verse can change your perspective! I just repeat that til I believe it when I start go get skeered. Oh - and I rigged up a dog line just outside the door so Louie can take himself out to go potty in the dark

Best of luck to all...Jaci