Any one else ever feel this way?

[mnmarty03]

Hey guys. I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt the way I do today and I wasn't sure where to post it, so I decided to go with the health forum...

For a while now I've wanted to start working out, and finally this year I've said "enough is enough. Either I do it or I stop saying I will." So with that in mind I paid some money to see a personal trainer (on campus - not a professional, but someone training to become certified). On my sign up sheet I indicated that I wanted to see a female trainer because I feel more comfortable with girls than guys. Guys just tend to make me uncomfortable (most anyways, I've always been that way) - especially when I'm doing something so new and out of my league.

Anyways, I signed up and they said someone would call me. I waited and waited and finally, nearly a month later someone calls me to set up time. And tells me that I'll be with Chris - as in a guy. I was unhappy about that but I didn't want to be picky because I just wanted to get started already. So I went to my fitness evaluation, which wasn't too bad. Then I went to my two personal training sessions (I can't afford more). The first one didn't help too much - we just went over basic excercises. We didn't follow my work out plan at all, which is bad because I wasn't able to start to see which machines I would be doing when - which makes it hard to remember what is what, for me. But I thought, it'll be okay. Then I went to my second session, which was good because we followed my plan and I was able to put a machine with a name with a specific spot in my head - I remember it better that way. My trainer also showed me quickly the machines I would use on the other day (which once again didn't help because it was too fast).

Fast forward to today, my first day alone working out. All week long I've felt out of place at the gym, but have sucked it up through just doing cardio and having training appointments. Then today I go upstairs (where all the weight equipment is) and I got out my sheets of my excercise plan (which was kept at the gym so I really had no idea what was on them). I sat down on a bike to warm up, and did that just fine. I looked at my sheets trying to remember what is what, and couldn't really. When I was done with my warm up I saw that the guy who was my trainer was there working out (not working) which made me feel really uncomfortable. I panicked because I have no idea what's going on there, or what is what and the last thing I wanted was to have the trainer there. I almost feel watched like that (even though it's all in my head) - like if I do something different than what he told me, then I'm a failure. So I left.

Yep..that's right. I wussed out and left right after my warm up. I didn't even do cardio. I just felt so stupid. So very stupid. And out of place. There's all these people there who are in way better shape than I am and who KNOW what they're doing, and there I am feeling all ugly in my work out clothes with my hair that never does what I want it to and a face full of acne (unfortunately I have acne. It's not horrible, but it's enough to make me feel horrible)... meanwhile everyone around me is in workout clothes that are cute, with hair that looks good despite the sweat and with perfectly clear complections. And let's not forget about all the guys up there with these huge muscles and huge weights that they're lifting (and some strange need to wear muscle shirts to show off their muscles), making me feel like I'm just stupid with my measly little weights which is actually hard for me because I'm a weakling (hence why I'm there).

So there I sit on the bike, trying to ignore the fact that I feel so out of place, and reminding myself that no one cares about me but are focussing on their own work outs. And I was okay. But then the I see the trainer and I felt like there was someone who probably would pay attention to see what I do, and I just panicked.

I was smart enough to bring my work out plan home so I could google the excercises and not feel so stupid next time. But even doing that it seems like most of the information I found was for people who've ALWAYS been working out. What about the rest of us? Those of us who feel stupid? I hired a personal trainer so that I would get over that feeling, because I knew that those feelings would hold me back. I already have a low self esteem sometimes, and when you put me out of my comfort zone (which a gym is) I get an even lower self esteem. So I hired a trainer to make me feel like I knew what I was doing. Except instead I just feel like I got thrown into a work out plan with all these official words and excercises that I don't understand - ugg..and I just feel stupid.

Sorry this got so long. Has anyone else ever felt this way? What did you do to get over it? I know I need to just suck it up, and it'll get better... but I think I need someone to tell me that it's okay I wussed out today. I just wish that there was a separate place at the gym for beginners - where I could just be alone to figure out what I'm doing, and then once I feel better about it, then I could move to the "big" gym where everyone who knows whats going on is. I do think I'm going to try to go with some friends tomorrow, because even if they do different things then at least I'll have someone who knows me who can help me, instead of asking these personal trainer people who are around (because they make me feel intimated). What I'd really like is to go to an official personal trainer off campus - someone who's older than me, instead of someone who is my own age - because the people my own age make me feel dumb.

Anyone else know how I feel or am I just crazy?

[ldholiman]

Bless your heart, I do understand how you are feeling, I go to a gym off and on and have for 10 years now, the same gym. I never go over to where the "GUYS" workout with free weight just becasue I don't know anything about free weights, so I do the circuit machines and each machine explains how to use it and what muscle it is working on each machine...I think the circuit training basically target all your major muscles if you went through the entire cicuit, and try to do it 3 times either stay at the one machine and let 2 minutes pass between each sets or go from machine to machine do one set then move on and go through it 3 times...does that make since? Then just throw some type of cardio in there...Also maybe find a class to go to and do weights I have done this too and I was looking good during the time I was going,the teacher really knew what she was doing. She was so sweet to help out and and encourage me too. Finding a good instructor is important. I understand how you felt today but just head right back up there friday and do something keep moving and you can't help but start to feel better and the more you go the more comfotable you will start to feel.

let us know how it turns out...also i have adult acne too!! Proactive has really helped me and good coverage on my makeup...I wear makeup to the gym sometimes just becasue it makes me feel better. I know its stupid to wear it and go up there and sweat But like I said it makes me feel better and thats why I am going up there to begin with to feel better about myself

[AprilP]

Curves. It's a gym much more designed for overweight women. They are marvelously helpful and don't make you feel like a hag. All the women look the same - NOT PERFECT. i've tried Bally's and 24HR Fitness and Gold's Gym and tons of others, and all the girls there are little skinny "miss perfect's" and I'd go once or twice and never go back. Since I've found Curves, I've gone at least twice a week for a year. I've lost 73 pounds so far. Not skinny yet, but definitely better.

[Luv2BeFrugal]

I know what ya mean about feeling out of place... I've always felt that way in a gym.

I second the "vote" for Curves. I just started there a few weeks ago and not only DON'T feel awkward...but really enjoy it!! Really positive, encouraging place! You can try it once for free and they'll walk you through each thing.

One thing I noticed during my trial workout was that the lady trainer who was working with me was taking time to correct the others who were doing things wrong (in a positive way) and they'd been there a long time! So, I knew I wasn't alone!

Give it a shot...can't hurt... And the fees are really low.

Good luck!

[mnmarty03]

awww..thanks guys. I've heard good things about curves, but I'm not actually overweight. My weight is perfectly good and I am happy with it. Just because I have a healthy weight though, does not mean that I don't need to or shouldn't work out. My future job is very physical and I want to get into better shape before I start doing it full time in the fall. My goals are to get more fit and get stronger...

However, I guess I'm proof that "skinny" doesn't mean confidence. I've heard good things about proactive, does it really work? It's so expensive. My acne was better when I was on birth control, but I've been off of it for months now to save money. This month (just the other day actually) I went back on birth control to help with the acne, and also for other reasons.

I will go tomorrow and at least do cardio. Next week is spring break and there will be less people around, so I think it would be a good time to try the weight lifting again because they'll be less people to make me feel watched. My work out plan is one that is good I feel, but I think the small amount of free weight stuff I'm supposed to do makes me feel really dumb - I may just do those on my own at home...

Thanks again guys. Don't worry, I'll get back on the horse.

[acidcookie]

Remember this: People are never paying as much attention to you as you think. When I'm at the gym I'm not watching the mistakes new people make. I may watch someone on the mats for inspiration on new exercises, but other than that I'm only focused on my own workout.

Just think about it: People cannot be so simultaneously worried about themselves and others.

[JerryG]

You are going there for a workout . . . .correct? I've been to the gym in my "'bad clothes" and watched the "other's" kicking it all over . . . .

It can suck - but really . . . . answer this - Are you there for them or YOU??

The power of asking a question is that YOU can reject the answer!!

YOU GO GIRL!!!

[Libby]

I think b/c of budget limitations you've stuck with the school gym am I correct? Im not sure how much Curves costs anymore but when I went to check it out it wasnt within my budget at all, not even close! There are other alternatives out there as well, women only gyms or big name gyms with 'women only hours' or 'areas' etc. Look around.

Ive been lucky enough to use those 'free passes' from friends who spend $600/yr on their BIG NAME gym memberships with the pefectly scantily clad barbies and muscle men parading around as if all was happy and perfect in their world b/c they belong to this gym. A gym membership means different things to different people. I've learned that the gym is not for me at all.

I agree with Jerry - go for you. Who cares what others think and if they pay attention to you. Remember they all started out like you, insecure and feeling inadequate. Once you start feeling better about yourself and that you kinda have a right to be there, especially since you paid, you will be about to walk with your head held high and then sport those 'perfect' clothes and hair. Its all a matter of baby steps. I have faith that you can do it, after all you did have the guts to sign up and go to a personal trainer there plus the bonus is if hes working out at the same time as you - you can ask him if you're doing things right and for tips to maximize your work out - all for free!

Keep your head up and keep going! You can overcome this!

[Marie78]

I totally know how you feel. I belonged to a gym two years ago and I would wear what I had and fit me for work out clothes. My clothes were by no means trendy compared to the perfect looking women with their perfect bodies. I never did very well with the weight training machines, I would try a few of my favorites each time I went but I mostly stuck with the treadmill and the stationary bike. I also started going to spinning classes a few nights a week. My bum and inner thigh area hurt so bad the first couple of times, but then my body was fine and I didn't have that kind of pain anymore. I loved spinning and I was (still am) 30-35 pounds over weight. Spinning actually helped me lose 15 pounds, but now two years later I have put them back on. I really should get back into a work out routine.

I know how you feel about adult acne. I have had acne since I was 12 and I am now 28. I get it worse around a certain time of month due to hormones. I used to never leave the house without make up, I still rarely do. I finally let my fiance see me without make up, he has never said anything and he acts like he doesn't notice (maybe he doesn't). I wear bare minerals makeup because it covers my acne and face pretty evenly. I have worn it for almost 4 years now and I don't know how I lived without it. It used to take me over an hour to apply foundation to hide my acne and scarring. Now maybe five minutes or less to apply the minerals foundation with a brush. It makes me look and feel 90% better (a few still peek through the make up a little). I used to wear a thin layer of the mineral make up to work out to. I tried proactive and was allergic to it. I do use murad products- the lotion and an acne face wash. Those products have been gentle on my face, but I haven't found a miracle cure yet to get rid of them. As I get older I feel better about myself and more confident with my appearnce.

[veena07]

When we relocated, my husband's new job provided free membership for him and discounted membership for me at the high profile super posh gym in town. First trainer consultation was free so we took it. I have acne too and at times i feel very conscious about it(proactive is on my list too) .
Besides there were people always seriously working out and i felt conscious around them coz though i'm not overweight, i had just begun on the treadmill and would be huffing and puffing in 10 min, while everyone else would be going on doing their workout in a focused way. i told myself many times that it was a silly thing to be so conscious but in the end i just took swim lessons there (always wanted to learn to swim) and then quit.

I bought an aerobics dvd by kathy smith instead and try to strictly do it thrice a week. best thing is i dont have to buy gym clothes and dress up to go to gym. the disadvantage though is it is hard to stay motivated.

we are moving to suburbs in april and i hope to join one of the local low profile gyms nearby, where there are more lady members.

-veena.

[mnmarty03]

I'm so happy I'm not the only person! Like I said, I know this is a mental issue more than anything. The on-campus gym is free, but in the summer I'll no longer be a student and then will have to pay to go somewhere else if I so chose. I actually enjoy weight lifting - just not all my insecurity.

Next week is spring break so it'll be empty there and hopefully I'll feel better then. I'm not promising anything to myself. I may go on Friday - or I may wait. I work my very physical job on Saturday so I may just wait until then for my "work out" (I'm sore for a couple of days afterwards). Then on Monday I am for sure going to the gym, at least for cardio. If I go up to check it out and I feel confident, maybe I'll do the weight lifting. Or maybe I'll do only a few machines....or I might just let myself do cardio for a couple weeks (I'll make myself do it upstairs where everyone is) to get used to being there. Then I'll work into weight lifting.

Thanks again everyone! And if anyone else has any input, please keep adding!

[ldholiman]

Marie78
I thought this was funny, I can use proactive but was allergic to bare minerals ....i loved the coverage but broke out with these nasty cyst looking pimple things...