Just so mad I have to get this off my chest!

**KrieBabie** · 04-29-2007, 11:08 PM

What kind of person tells a four year old that nobody likes him. I live with the only family that has space and my son just came in crying from the living room because my uncle told him no one likes him. Yesterday my son followed this same uncle down to the basement (where my uncle spends the majority of his time) only to come back up with three or four toys of his that my uncle stole. No wonder toys can be bought for him over and over, yet i'm still not losing space in the toybox. And three days before that he stole my son's scooter.

Am I crazy for staying here...or should I go to a homeless shelter?
I mean...what's the best of two evils here?
My family that's mentally abusing my son...or take him to the nearest homeless shelter that will take us in (50 miles away) and out of his school this close to the end of the school year, away from the family that does love us, but for difficult circumstances of their own can't take us in, and away from my college aged sister that ADORES him, plus my boyfriend that he calls Dad.

These are the only two options I have...what would you choose?

**guest56464** · 04-29-2007, 11:16 PM

That's a tough one. Do you think you could try talking to the uncle?

**McD** · 04-29-2007, 11:26 PM

I'm not sure if this is an option and I know people can be morally opposed to this---but could you move in with your boyfriend?

If it were me, I would take him away from the uncle. Kids are resilient and adaptable, he can handle leaving his school--he'll adjust. The scars of mental abuse will live with him forever.

**KrieBabie** · 04-29-2007, 11:28 PM

Maybe if he would stay in the same room with me long enough. He's schizophrenic and the voices in his head have something against me. And that's not meant to make fun or be silly. It's the truth. I hear him have the conversations with the people, but there's never anyone else there. Some of them are pretty bad.

It's my grandmother's house, but all she says is "you know how he is" or "he's just playing". But it's not just playing...it's emotionally scarring my son. My son feels the need to hide his toys so that he won't steal them. The other day he was told he couldn't pick dandilions out of the yard because they weren't his flowers! When I say this house is crazy...I mean it serious as a heart attack.

If I say anything or get mad...all I hear is "you sound just like your mother" or "your mother used to fill your head with that too". My mother is the equivelant of the devil here. To them, you just don't get lower than her. They hate her.

**KrieBabie** · 04-29-2007, 11:32 PM

My boyfriend lives with his mother. He has issues of his own (he somehow made it his entire life not being able to read or write and now goes to classes daily to try to remedy that) and doesn't earn but 175 dollars every two weeks, which he has to give to his mother for rent. I can't move there, because his mother is a sex offender and besides...the entire apartment is 10x12, including the bathroom. We don't get along very well anyways...he's only over there, because my family hates him (he's not the biological father of my oldest son, who they think is God on Earth) and he's not allowed here.

**jamie79** · 04-30-2007, 02:58 AM

Gess that a hard situation to be in. If I were you, I would go to the shelter. I would get out of there and I have to be honest with you I would also dump the boyfriend. His family doesnt sound like a family I would want to be associated with and I certainly wouldnt want my son to be associated with. There are shelters out there for just women and children and you could get social services to help you.

**thegemreaper** · 04-30-2007, 05:41 AM

Bless your heart HUGS I am sorry you are in such a bad situation right now.If you are pretty sure that the shelter is a safe place, I would suggest going there. My worry is that if the uncle has mental problems and does not like your son then he might end up hurting him physically or something.When it comes to crazy families, I could write a book.It is really important for your son to see that you will do whatever you need to in order to protect him from abusive people.
When I was around 8 years old, my mother married a guy that totally hated us kids.He was a drunk and an abuser to us but he was almost always good to Mom.She would stay with him and let us suffer until he would finally do something mean to her and then she would leave.She always went back with this guy (he finally drank himself to death a couple of years later ) but when we would leave and go to the women and children shelter for a few days, I can still remember the relief I felt being out of that awful situation with the step-dad and how good I slept at night.As long as your son is with you and feels protected, he won't care much at all where you live.Plus, he will always remember how you did whatever you had to do to make sure he was safe.

Take Care,
Susan

**Darlene** · 04-30-2007, 07:04 AM

Originally Posted by jamie79

Guess that a hard situation to be in. If I were you, I would go to the shelter. I would get out of there and I have to be honest with you I would also dump the boyfriend. His family doesn't sound like a family I would want to be associated with and I certainly wouldn't want my son to be associated with. There are shelters out there for just women and children and you could get social services to help you.

Your son comes first & I am worried for his & your well being. I'd get out now.
I'd also give the boyfriend some space to get it together & stand on his own 2 feet. Why start off in a relationship that already is wrought with problems? You can't fix things or save him, he needs to take care of things himself, move out on his own & get a good job that will lead to a better future. He can be the greatest guy in the world but is not boyfriend or future husband material without a good job & living with a wacko mother.

None of this is good for you and your son. You both need healthy people in your lives, not all this.
Maybe you and college age, normal & caring sister can get a place together.

**Dixie** · 04-30-2007, 07:25 AM

I agree with Jamie. I hope everything works out for you and your children.

**TheRootedNomad** · 04-30-2007, 07:36 AM

I would do whatever I had to do to get my son out of there and be on my own. I would start by checking out my options - section 8, family shelters, small studio apartments, renting a room from someone, and so on. I am sure that none of the "do it on your own" options will be easy but as someone else said where your at does not sound "healthy" at least doing it on your own would be healthier for you and your children.

**FrugalMomof3** · 04-30-2007, 07:44 AM

I just want to say I am sorry you are going through this, but if it were my son, I would leave! I also notice that your prego, I think you need to get to a safer environment, think about when the new baby comes, you will spend more time with the new baby and your DS will be left out leaving him more time to be "picked on".

I think to keep your sanity and for the safety of your sons mental wellbeing, you need to find a safe haven.

**kabin63** · 04-30-2007, 07:50 AM

Heather,
Your child's safety comes first. The Uncle is not stable. I hate to say it, but I think you might be better off at a shelter for now. That, or stay at your child's side continuously to protect him.
My question is, isn't your Uncle on Meds?

**cherrie79** · 04-30-2007, 07:59 AM

I agree with the others that I would be in a shelter ASAP. Your son already sounds like he feels unsafe and god only knows what can happen in the future. It's definatly not a safe place for either of you.

**YankeeMom** · 04-30-2007, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by jamie79

Gess that a hard situation to be in. If I were you, I would go to the shelter. I would get out of there and I have to be honest with you I would also dump the boyfriend. His family doesnt sound like a family I would want to be associated with and I certainly wouldnt want my son to be associated with. There are shelters out there for just women and children and you could get social services to help you.

Ditto.
While I haven't 'walked a mile in your shoes', I know from my own experience that sometimes we have to make big sacrifices for a short amount of time in order to reap the benefits of those sacrifices in the future.

I would move out of the house and I would also dump the boyfriend. The whole situation sounds toxic and not one I would raise my children in