Hell for the Holidays

**mh3rdwheel** · 10-10-2011, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by ravenmaniac

My sister-in-law. It all started 23 years ago when dh and I got married. Dh's side thinks I am not good enough for him.

I've put up with years of showing up for Christmas and sil, her dh, and nephew ignoring me and my kids. Then they slowly started ignoring my husband too. I would be the first to say hi, try to be the better person, but to no avail. I can only turn the cheek so many times. I ignored them.

This past year they really angered me. My grandson was only 9 months old and it was his first Christmas. They ignored all of us! They wouldn't even look at him. How do you ignore a baby at his first Christmas?

This year I am not sure what we are going to do. Dh's parent's are getting up in age so I guess we'll end up going to visit his family.

Being caught in that situation really stinks.

I would visit the family maybe a few days before everyone else, so that you avoid the sil and faimily. Then go home and enjoy your family.

I did the family get together for years now I do my on thing. I visit before the holidays and spend the actual holidays with my immediate family ( my kids, and their familuy)

**zakity** · 10-10-2011, 04:31 PM

We go down to see his relatives instead of spending Thanksgiving with mine. We like his better.

We do xmas eve with my relatives. We used to do xmas day dinner also, but it was too much of a hassle to get everyone's presents opened, showered, and driven over there. We now stay home and kick back on xmas day.

**MaryCarney** · 10-10-2011, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by Darlene

It's ok to Opt-Out of spending time with people that are annoying, obnoxious or rude. Just because they are family doesn't mean anything, you still have choices on who you want in your life. They don't treat you and yours with respect, they are on their own to find someone else who will listen to their tales of injustices and how they feel things should be. Give yourself the gift of calm and quiet, it's ok you just need to let them know things are going to be different and just do it with no backing down or apologies. Enjoy!

^^^^^^ What she said ^^^^^^

**NicJean** · 11-02-2011, 10:12 PM

Yes.
My younger sister, and now her husband, too (was sucked in). I'm very happy my sister has someone in her life she apparently CAN stand. But the rest of us, not so much.

She was the baby-sister, till Dad remarried. But in a household of 6, now 9, I just don't understand the glaring "I didn't get enough attention growing up," spiel. I dunno, I was the quiet, shy, second-eldest. I think I'm all right.

Regardless, I did breathe a huge sigh of relief at being 'informed' they were going to Mother's (in TX) for Thanksgiving. If only Christmas will be this peaceful . .

**frugalwarrior2** · 11-02-2011, 11:10 PM

We haven't seen my MIL.SIL.or MIL's third DH in 6 years since she made such drama at the hosp. 6 years ago. You won't see me crying over it either. I don't need the mood disorder drama,drinking drama or the super self centered drama either.
As far as 3rd Dh goes I can skip the downtown dismissive attitude towards women too. And SIL well she did far too much MESC. in the 1980's to act normal. SO>>christams at our house w/ the 4 of us.

**BlissMommy** · 11-03-2011, 02:02 PM

Not really anymore. My Mom can be a bit of a downer, always says she has not money, but always has money to give my brother for Christmas. I just look at the holidays as a time to celebrate Jesus with my kids and hubby.