10 yr old daughter wants a hotel party

leasmom · 05-28-2007, 08:56 PM

Her birthday party isn't until September, the 1st to be precise. Last year, I had a great frugal birthday party for her...I used a coupon sent to me when I moved in this community, it was for a free pizza, I used soda I already have, and I just bought a month in advance, a cookie cake, and took my daughter, her cousins and friend to the city pool and so I only spent about $20 altogether on her birthday.

This year, she was invited to two hotel parties, in which it was a sleepover, and they swam in the pool, watched movies and played games, ate pizza, and had a good time with parental supervision of course. This is what my daugther wants.

Now, her birthday being the 1st, it's before school starts, and this is middle school, completely new for her. Money, I am not sure how much a hotel room costs, pizza is inexpensive, you just get the $5 pizza's, and I could get a sheet cake at the thrift bakery for $5.99.

At the same time, this is around the beginning of school, so I will have school clothes and supplies to buy too...

What should I do? My mother already told her we should do this. I am not sure... I don't have enough room for a sleepover at my house, its too small. So, what should I do???

Neeley · 05-28-2007, 09:28 PM

We did a hotel party for DD's 13th since turning 13 is such a huge thing to kids. We rented adjoining rooms, one for DD and her 2 guests and one for DH, DS, DS's guest and myself. I got all of the kids some inexpensive water toys to use in the pool (then to keep as party favors), lots of candy, brought a 1/4 sheet cake and ordered pizzas. We chose a hotel that served a full hot breakfast, had unlimited popcorn, coffee and sodas in the lobby and where kids under 18 stayed free. We ended up spending around $300 for everything, excluding her gift. The hotel was around $99 a night per room.

I loved this party since I had NO CLEAN UP!!! The kids swam, went to the weight room, got in the hot tubs and pretty much entertained themselves. I did not have to play party hostess/entertainment specialist/rule enforcer all in one. We took our xBox, Playstation and Game Cube with us and the kids played games well into the night after the pool had closed.

One piece of advice if you decide to do a hotel party....Do not tell them when you make the reservation or when you check in it is a party. Many hotels have started having the guests sign a release if they say it is a party, put an extra damage deposit down and some won't even rent rooms to people if they know it is for a party.

PrairieRose · 05-28-2007, 09:34 PM

Personally, I wouldn't do it if I didn't have the money. I think it sets an unrealistic expectation for the future and believe me, this is a small thing in comparison. Your duty as a parent is to be an example for your children, not to lavish expensive gifts that you can't afford on them, spoiling them beyond measure. Perhaps if you really want to do this you can tell your daughter that she has to earn the money for it herself. She might surprise you and be determined enough to do it.

Buckeye5 · 05-28-2007, 11:03 PM

I have never heard of a hotel party before!!! This is a new one for me, but then again, I am just a plain ole country gal. WOw, that is a cool idea, but if I couldn't afford it, then I wouldn't do it. Praire, is right maybe she could save and pinch in, or also, you could match her half of the money, and also, tell her it is her gift too.

DJ1972 · 05-29-2007, 07:49 AM

I did a hotel party for my daughter's 10th birthday. Getting into the double digits was big to her. She was allowed to take 3 friends, I only got one room with 2 beds. I had as much fun as they did. It wasn't all that expensive because we did cheap pizza for supper and the hotel pool was entertainment. Also, her my mom chipped in on the hotel room. Good luck!

Sari · 05-29-2007, 09:30 AM

Check out the travel booklets they have at Denny's and IHOP I think, they have coupons all the time for hotels in your state. You can save a lot of money that way. Or check out hotels.com.

FrugalMomof3 · 05-29-2007, 09:52 AM

I personally wouldnt do it if I didnt have the money either, I too feel this is a realization of many more things to come should you allow this. JMHO.

Edna_E · 05-29-2007, 10:53 AM

I personally think it is time for her to learn the cold hard fact that you don't always get what you want, especially if it is presented poorly. I don't know how she presented the idea to you, and it may just be on her "wouldn't it be cool to..." list. It seems to me that a lot of kids these days get what they want by demanding it autocratically or by saying everyone else (or specific someone-elses) has it or is doing it. I think parents need to learn to say no when something is presented that way, and explain what they consider reasonable. I'd consider taking her camping just with the family for her birthday, and teaching her to appreciate the caring relationship rather than the gifts. I actually did that with my son in HS, and it worked out very well (which I cannot claim about everything I tried;-)

PeacewithMyself · 05-29-2007, 12:30 PM

Middle School girls need to feel a part of the group. If this means a Hotel Party then I agree. Middle School is difficult enough anyway.

But.... stipulations would be.

Have the 10 year old help with planning and budgeting the party. Get a rough idea first about how much it will cost then set a limit for her so she can be sucessful in the planning. Still have fun but not go to extravagense.

Then explain this is the big one. The big thing for the year for her. The I wanta's for Christmas or Birthday will be less. Oh, and have her make a scrap book of the party so that she can look at it again and again. This isn't just for her fun memories but for her.... Oh, that's right.... they made this special day happen for me that why I'm not getting ......________ for Christmas or my Birthday.

lwlynch · 05-29-2007, 01:24 PM

I never have had the money to do the party's , we usually try to throw something else together. You know, you could do a tent party. Pitch a few tents, everyone bring a sleeping blanket. Cook hotdogs, music. We even did it right in our front yard. I am always trying to find, the cheapest way. My children never seem to miss not having the parties alot of kids have.

lanford66 · 05-29-2007, 01:36 PM

My daughter is 12 and she's been to 2 this year. These were the first I had ever heard about a "hotel" party. When she first mentioned it to me, I said, "WHAT????" But now that I've seen 2 in action and all the hyper girls running around, I can see why these parents did it. Having 10 giggling girls in a small house would be enough to send some parents running! LOL. It's not something that we would do, but it would be nice not to have all that to clean up after.

frugalandsimple · 05-29-2007, 01:36 PM

I've never heard of a birthday party in a hotel until I reading the OP. I definitily wouldn't do it if I didn't have the money. That's just foolish.

pita1213 · 05-29-2007, 05:06 PM

one of dd friends had a party at great wolf lodge. she had fun, but it's not something i would do especailly if it isn't in the budget.
we have done bowling for both dks. they all had fun. i think it was 80 plus a cake i had to buy because the bowling alley doesn't do cakes. they do provide food and drinks and they get an hour of bowling.
last year we let ds invite 2 friends to go iceskating and spend the night. the boys played video games for a long time after we got home from iceskating.

while i understand wanting to do something specail for her since it is a transition, it still needs to be something that is realistic when looking at your budget. if it is going to be a burden moneywise, it's not going to be enjoyable. if your mom thinks it's great idea, ask her if she would go in on it with you if you think you could afford half of it.
if it's not in the budget, it's not in teh budget and dd will need to think of something else to do that is in the budget. either something at home or something with a smaller nuber of girls. with a few friends she could have a spa themed party to let the girls pamper themselves a bit before going back to school and to try out different ways to do their hair and such since that will become more important to them in middle school.

leasmom · 05-29-2007, 11:56 PM

You know, that's a great ideal...like a day getting their hair done...that sounds really good. I like that one. With her going back to school and needing supplies, you are all right, I wouldn't be enjoying it because I would be sitting there calculating the cost. I am going to work on some alternative ideals...anyone have anymore?

Luv2BeFrugal1 · 06-01-2007, 04:39 PM

I like lwlynch's idea of a camping party...that sounds like it would be loads of fun...she'd still get the group sleepover effect...and it wouldn't cost nearly as much... You could even grill hot dogs or something? Chips at Walmart are usually cheap. Mabye make some potato salad or something else to go with it?

Let us know what you decide. I don't think I'd spend that much on a party even if I did have it...sets up high expectations for the future...