Do you drive yourself crazy...

**Jaded** · 11-08-2007, 11:35 AM

trying to have the "perfect" holiday season? Do you worry about whether everyone will be happy with their gifts, if the decorations are more beautiful than anyone else's, if you have more or less lights in your yard? Do you obsess over every little piece of wrapping paper and bow?

Or do you do like I do, and just have a good time and let the rest be d***ed?

I used to obsess. I really did! Christmas was the one time I wanted everything perfect...food, house, gifts, everything. It made it a very unenjoyable time for me, and for everyone around me.

I'm much more laid back now. I do what I can, leave the rest undone, and just enjoy other's labors of love, such as going around to see all the lights, etc.

So this year, think about it....will you drive your family and friends crazy with your determination to have the perfect holiday, or will you remember that it's about friends and family, and let it be a happy time for all?

**monkeywrangler71** · 11-08-2007, 11:53 AM

One of my most vivid memories is of my mother sitting on her floor on Christmas Eve, surrounded by paper and unwrapped gifts, crying her eyes out.

I absolutely will not ever put myself through that kind of torture. Me having a nervous breakdown doesn't make anyone's Christmas perfect.

**FrugalMomof3** · 11-08-2007, 02:07 PM

I am the type of person that just enjoy's the Holiday because it's a Holiday. My own children who live with me aren't always happy with what they get or to them how little they got but I am just happy they are here with me for the Holiday.

I do try to get gifts that I think they will like but nowadays I just get something geared towards their likes and that I can afford.

Christmas is a time to enjoy the time with family and friends, it is better to receive

AND to me receiving is the warmth of family.

**McD** · 11-08-2007, 02:09 PM

I want everything to go perfectly but I am realistic enough to know that chances are it won't--and to be honest, sometimes the imperfections are the funnest things about the holidays!

**powerfm1** · 11-08-2007, 02:37 PM

I used to be frantic, have both sides of the family over for dinner and the other insanity.

I started to pull back when I realized that this isn't what I wanted, it was what was expected of me - nuff said.

My kids and I just started doing our own thing. Christmas Eve at my best friend's house, all the kids in the kitchen helping, Aretha Franklin on the stereo. So much fun!

The next day we did our own presents. I still decorated with a tree, but that was about it. That get eliminated one year when my oldest came home from Chicago. He and my other son went down the basement and got the artificial tree and the trimmings while I was making pizza. We started putting the tree together and everyone had a face on them. I said "Anyone really want to do this" they all smiled, threw the stuff back in the boxes. We had pizza, watched a movie and didn't miss any of it.

**annymoll** · 11-08-2007, 02:52 PM

Originally Posted by MrsMcDowell

I want everything to go perfectly but I am realistic enough to know that chances are it won't--and to be honest, sometimes the imperfections are the funnest things about the holidays!

This is how I feel. I do like things to be well done, and I like to pay attention to detail.After I have done my best, I just go with the flow.

**halloweenfreak** · 11-08-2007, 04:48 PM

i wish i could do that. christmas is pretty laid back for me, but halloween as you might imagine is just like MY christmas. so i am usually stressed beyond belief trying to get ready. my family jokes every year 'remember when halloween USE to be fun'

**mcphlips** · 11-08-2007, 05:45 PM

I am always stressed at Christmas with feelings like is what I am doing good enough..did I buy the right gifts, am I preparing all the right things for the meal...etc...then don't even mention the money when you go over the budget.

This year it will only be the 4 of us... really really slow compared to past years.. I'm hoping it will be stress free, although I am expecting I will still feel anxious since I am so used to being crazy!

**Dancing Lotus** · 11-08-2007, 06:04 PM

The first year we got married and went to Thanksgiving at my mils I was so upset at how un-holiday like it was. She ordered a premade meal from the super market and we ate off of paper plates becuase she didnt want to do dishes. I thought it was horrible, so I took over after that. I have had both sides of the family over every year and I go all out. Everything has to be perfect and from scratch. NO Frozen anthing and NO PAPER plates. NOw with that said last year was awful I didnt enjoy a minute of it and I am not going to do it anymore. This year it is just going to be me , dh and the kids.

**Libby** · 11-08-2007, 08:21 PM

Growing up we didnt have everything the Jones' did or anything like what they always showed on tv shows. We had simple boring immediate family only gatherings and it truly was boring. Over the years I try to make it fun and festive but gave up on it b/c there's too many nit pickers about. I do it my way and thats it, if you dont like it - POOH ON YOU!

As for the gifts - its all about giving something really great for almost spending nothing. Its like a challenge. Ive also put out a gag order on things I used to love getting - now its no junk/clutter

Pretty much I dont want anything for Christmas just the family time and great food. You get what you get, hope you like it! And yes of course I try to give things that I think the receiver would like.

Why stress yourself out? Maybe its b/c Im very laid back and unmarried w/o kids? But I dont understand how people can go all 'Grizzwald' LOL

**fatsassygirl** · 11-08-2007, 11:02 PM

well i have to admit i am anal-retentive about every detail...from whether or not my christmas cards (which i make) will match the holiday stamps and labels, to every piece of wrapping paper matching the christmas tree, it all has to be perfect or i am not happy with it. i drive my husband and my brother (in college and stays with us over breaks) nuts but that's okay - i'm very stressed but it is a satisfying, happy stress and such a pay off when my friends and family tell me my tree/house/table looks like a magazine spread. i am hosting thanksgiving for my family and then christmas for my husband's extended family and it will be pure craziness leading up to the events but i have already started fussing over things ;-) i wouldn't have it any other way, but then i'm only 25 and no kiddos yet so i have lots of years to change my mind, say the heck with it and go on a holiday cruise lol

**mikandmari** · 11-08-2007, 11:15 PM

I made myself crazy for several years. By Christmas night I would be completely exhausted. Then one year, from all the stress I was bringing on myself, I started having panic attacks about a week before Christmas, and then I didn't get ANYTHING done. Ya know what?

"Christmas still came, it came just the same.
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more."

(Yes, at my age, I am quoting Dr. Seuss.

)

Needless to say, my routine now is much simpler.

**HandyMom** · 11-09-2007, 12:16 AM

Yep! I used to obsess over every detail during the holidays and it made me nervous and upset and I totally dreaded it and could not enjoy myself anymore. Then we decided that we would no longer shop for each other and exchange gifts between siblings (only for our parents) and I also cut my card list in half, stopped making cookies and treats every year and cut out decorating the house and yard. Last year I don't think I even put up a tree.

It was so nice to just enjoy the season more and not have to be stressed over it all. It got to be too much and I was working myself up to an early grave or at least a heart attack, I swear!

I want to relax and enjoy, that's all.

**pita1213** · 11-09-2007, 07:58 PM

one thing having fibro has taught me is to slow down and not get stressed about things being perfect. chances are, if i stressed over everything being perfect, i'd end up in a flare and wouldn't get anything done.
this year we will have our tree and manger set. the kids can make decorations for the house. we have vinyl clings for the door. i'm not doing a big dinner, just a ham and a few sides for the 4 of us. i'm not going anywhere, i'm staying home. relatives are wlecome to stop by and i'll have snacky type foods for munching, but don't expect a moving party. last year i slept almost the entire time me and dks were at my mom's. i was awake while the kids opened presents and i was awake for dinner, but i slept through everything else. it's too much for me to travel 45 minutes one way after getting up early with the kids and opening presents, going to inlaws and opening presents. too long a day.
cookies will be made with the kids to be giving to relatives but nothing extravigant. one day at a time

**Jerseygirl** · 11-13-2007, 02:05 PM

Still in perfectionist mode here. I shop all year, will spend an entire weekend getting the perfect picture for the card, I handmake big extravagent bows for every gift, 2-3 trees will go up, the Kretch will go up and I will almost forget to put the baby Jesus in on CHristmas Eve, the staircase will be dressed from top to bottom, the front porch will be done. I will be exhausted but there will be beautiful photos of baby's first christmas in her book and I will generally have an allout panic attack 1/2 hour before leaving for the in laws' on Christmas Day. But that's ok.