Getting organized, any tips for moms?

[winner]

Hi there,
I would like to wish a Happy New Year to all frugal pals.
I haven't been here for a while, but did great in December frugal wise. People were happy with my presents, I am on truck with money, bills were paid, saved a bit towards my funds, so now I can get ready for a new frugal year.
I have a daughter, married, stays at home with my grandson. My influence help her to cut down on spending and trying to save. SIL makes good money, but one income is not enough to try to save.
She is very handy, creative and is cooking as well, but she lucks organizational skills. If her house is clean, then she needs some scrubing, if she is focused on a project, then she doens't have time to spend or take out her son, then she feels guilty of depressed.
As a working person I am sharing my organizational skills with her, but I was hoping to hear from you, how you manage your household (chores, kids, money, spending, etc,)at the same time not ignoring yourself and the husband. How to balance the house and quality time with the family and still having time for things you like to do?
Hope to hear from you.

[Whr2nxt]

I think for any stay at home mom you always have some guilt. Simply because that is your "job" and it's hard to get yourself to do something for yourself. As her son gets older and more independent it will get easier for her. I am a stay at home mom and my daughter is 4 1/2. My husband is in the military so we have never lived near any family and honestly have not had a night away even for dinner without her since she's been born. You just learn to make the best of what you've got. She'll find her way. It is a very hard and depressing at times to be a stay at home mom but really when all is said and done it is also one of the most rewarding things too. I guess what I did when mine was younger I took her to playgroups a few times a week. Ones where I was interacting with her as well. Then during times at home I would alternate. Play with her for a while then go clean something, go back play for awhile then go clean something else. It helped me to get stuff done and also taught her to play independently. Now that she is preschool age she goes 3 times a week for 3 hours. During that time I can take care of household stuff or I can simply have 3 hours to myself that I haven't had in YEARSSSS For me it's all about the lists. I keep alot of them and I need them. I make a cleaning schedule for myself, I make the grocery lists, any list I can think I make it because it keeps me on track. As far as the husband...honestly he sat on the back burner the first few years we were parents. With no help from relatives we were just trying to survive and stay sain...kidding...kinda. But really he is a great understanding guy. When she was little infant/early toddler I really just needed space to not hold, feed, or clean anyone. I really didn't have the energy all the time for any thing more. But as time went on I came around to be myself again. Now after bedtime is our time. Sometimes we each do our own thing or sometimes we rent movies, play games, or just talk. We are much more connected as we knew we would be we just had to let things settle. She'll figure out what works for her. It might take her falling down a few times and getting back up to try again but we find our way.

[missyali]

I work outside the home and have kids. My house gets REALLY clean on winter, spring & summer breaks. I have started the idea of, play for a while and then go do some cleaning. Without being too rigid, I say first half-hour of the hour is for playing, second half is for cleaning or housework of some sort. If I don't feel like doing the housework, I get on FV or play around on the laptop ~ I need the break.

As far as organizing ~ kids have limited toys in bedrooms. I made them a playroom in the basement. They have a bin for legos, one for Barbies, etc. The organization down there is SUPER obvious purposely. When I go down there I can tell the kids to put all the Barbies away. There is no "I don't know what you are talking about" look as well as I can have them pick up one type of toy at a time and it's less overwhelming & more likely to get done. We also take 10 minutes before bed AS A FAMILY to pick up the main living area. Start little or everyone will try to buck the system. I like Flylady. I have modified it over the past 7 years to fit my family's needs. I think I finally have a good system, assuming we don't change: 1. jobs, 2. # of children, 3. where we live, etc anytime soon. Those were major obstacles for me in the last few years. Good luck!a

[elphie]

It is hard as a SAHM to really focus on what your true job is. When I first decided to stay home I thought I would have a spotless house, the laundry done, and happy kids all the time; in short, I'd be supermom.

Ummm... not quite. After a few months of this I was exhausted, stressed out, feeling guilty for the things I didn't get done. I used to be a teacher and during the summers I was able to get a lot done but also let things slide because after all, I only had a few months before I had to get back to work. That attitude changes when you are home indefinately and it feels like you MUST get it all done because its your job. Well, jobs are eight hours a day and wife and mom is never ending so you have to find a balance.

I have a schedule of daily and weekly chores that I keep hanging on the fridge. Daily I do the dishes, laundry, and declutter. I do one load of laudry, fill the dishwasher once, and wash the things that won't fit in the diswasher once. I could spend my life doing dishes and laundry because you are constantly creating more but if I set these reasonable limits then it gets done without taking over everything. Decluttering is done once a day as well but I break it up into rooms. I generally do the kitchen while cooking a meal and the living room and playroom are done, with the kids help, after supper before we sit down to relax for the evening.

I have a weekly schedule for things like sweeping, vaccuuming, baking, making sauces, and light grocery shopping (milk, bread, fresh fruit, etc, that must be purchased weekly). I do one of these per day during the week. (sweeping Monday, baking Tuesday, etc.) I know our schedule so it is easy to plan sweeping on the day we know we have playgroup and baking when I know we'll be home all day.

I have a monthly schedule for things like mopping, cleaning bathrooms, major grocery shopping, and organizing cabinets and closets. One of these get done each weekend of the month. (mopping first Saturday, bathrooms second Saturday, etc.) When I do the cabinets/closets I pick ONE to focus on- they all get done about twice a year on a rotating basis.

We also have a one-in-one-out rule in our house. Whe the kids get new toys they must immediately find a place for it in their bedroom that is neat and organized (no piles on the floor or cluttered shelves), if they can't find a place then they must choose something to go in the garage sale box in the basement to make room for the new toy. I follow the same rule for clothes, small kitchen appliances, etc. It is much easier to do daily decluttering if everything has a place to be.

When I cook I double recipes and freeze half so that I always have healthy, easy meals for hectic days.

All of these things leave me plenty of time to homeschool my kids, play with my kids, have time for my husband, and time for myself. But I am also flexible and I realize I may have time for only two or three of those in one day but that it will all balance out in the end. I do not have a perfectly clean house and I'm okay with that, its not why I stay home and if I let that be my priority then I've lost focus.