cleaning house, chores

[perSue]

there are some days where i feel more than inadequate, meaning, i feel like an idiot who has no idea how to do anything (right).

so i thought i'd ask ya'll what am i doing wrong, what do i need to do/add/change?

all i've known to do for "cleaning" is do the dishes, laundry, vacuum when it needs it & keep things off the floor.

i know how to organize, i guess i just feel like i can't or shouldn't, cuz i dont know where things "should" go... or where others would prefer them to go (meaning, if i put it one place it's "not right" but where they'll put it is better.)

i'm just confused... i feel like i'm not doing anything right.
thx

[nvmommyx6]

I'd have to ask who and how are they making you feel this way?
My husband generally lets me have "everything" to do with the house, cleaning, organizing, where I put or keep things.
The older kids clean their own rooms so I do not organize their things unless they ask me for my help. The younger ones I tend to keep their things organized pretty simple, things they need regularly are kept within their little reach!
On the other hand, when it comes to foods, there are many I do not organize within their reach!!! Hubby's snack food for his lunches are put up in a cupboard where the kids cannot reach them or they would all disappear in about 30 hot seconds. Anything in the fridges, cupboards or pantry is organized to my convenience as I am the one working with those things the majority of the time!
I understand how you feel, the inadequate thing. For me is was the feeling that I was not doing things "good enough". I think asking my family how they thought I ran things was the key. I never got any complaints except "you hide the junk food" was the kids complaint, and that one ain't gonna change anytime soon!!

[cheles2kids]

First off-

Secondly, it sounds like you're not feeling appreciated by those around you.
Maybe that's more the problem, than any inadequancy on your part.

If that's the case, then speak up & let it be known.
Think through your feelings and try to come up with a solution. Maybe you need more thank-you's, or maybe you need others in your family to step up & take on some of your responsibility?

I went through this just a few weeks ago with the cooking chore.
I told Mike that it would be very much appreciated if he could plan/cook dinner a couple nights a week.
Since we are trying to cut back down on our eating out nights, he agreed.
I don't feel like it's solely my responsibility to do that 'job' every night, every week.
So I redistributed the work and that has taken some of the pressure off of me.
I still help him prepare the meal, but just knowing that I don't have to come up with an idea of what we'll be having, and prepping whatever needs to be done the day before, has been a really nice change.

As for the overall general cleaning question?
Don't laugh, but I personally have my own chore chart, just like the kids.
I divide my household chores up, and this way I don't ever feel too overwhelmed but I always keep on top of things.
Other than cooking & dishes, no household chores take place on the weekend.
The weekend is for spending time together and doing outside things, running errands, shopping, attending a movie, etc.

You mentioned the organization problem. I think that really comes down to a 'what works better' problem.
After we moved into our house last year, I stated that where things are now, may not be where they will be a couple months from now, so just be prepared, and if I move anything, I will let you know.

Of course I ended up moving items, after I found out that they didn't work as well in a certain area. Especially in my kitchen.
I realized that I needed to think of the kitchen in 'areas', so I rearranged some of my cabinets:
Glass/cups on one side of the sink
Plates & bowls on the other
Baking pans, skillets, lids, etc. on either side of the stove. Well, you get the idea.

So don't be afraid to move things, or rearrange things if it makes *your* work easier. Just don't forget to tell your family that they've moved.

[perSue]

i just dont know what else i should be doing i guess.
like dusting & how? or mopping & how often? do i disinfect the kitchen counters, with what?

what do you do and how do you remember to do it all?
all i've ever done is dishes, laundry & vacuum. i've had hints there's a lot more i "should know to do"... thanks

[thesightofoneself]

i do it as trial and error. place it in the same place everytime. if you find that they keep moving it. then, start putting it in the other place. the easist thing is to just ask ppl where they would prefer it to be. communication makes it a lot easier.

[cheles2kids]

i just dont know what else i should be doing i guess.
like dusting & how? or mopping & how often? do i disinfect the kitchen counters, with what?

what do you do and how do you remember to do it all?
all i've ever done is dishes, laundry & vacuum. i've had hints there's a lot more i "should know to do"... thanks

Well, as far as dusting goes. I use windex & a microfibre cloth.
I have one dusting day on my chore chart, but I also have a very minimilist home.
I don't have alot of 'pretties' sitting around to have to move & dust under, etc. so you might have to allot another day to your dusting duties?

As for the kitchen counters?
I like to wipe mine down with either my Dawn dishsoap, water & vinegar mixture that I keep in a spray bottle *or* recently I've been using a Arm & Hammer Essentials Multi-Surface cleaner (I like the smell much better than the vinegar, plus it was free after rebate) and a wet sponge.

The fridge is gone through and emptied on Thursdays.
I don't have to do this every week, it's usually about every two weeks or so.
If there is anything that needs to be tossed & containers washed, this is the day I do it.

As far as remembering to do it all, I just refer to my chore chart.

I didn't see bathrooms mentioned?
I actually have 3 bathrooms, but only 2 upstairs and they get used pretty regularly.
So I rotate. I clean one the first week, the second the next week.
My kids are older (almost 16 & 14) & both have had the responsibility of having to clean their own bathroom, and they now know what it entails.
So they keep their bathroom pretty clean, inbetween.

For cleaning the bathroom, I use just any old toilet bowl cleaner. I like the thicker ones, they just seem easier to apply.
I use Lysol wipes to wipe everything down good, then just toss them into the garbage can. (This is the only job I use the wipe for)

I just a Oxy type spray cleaner that I bought at Dollar General for the sink. I just use a wet wash cloth, spray down the countertop and wipe it off, rinse as needed.

The bathtub, I actually use some old shampoo that I bought a few years ago and no one liked.
I run a bit of water in the bottom of the tub, and squirt in some shampoo and wash it down good with my washcloth.
Then let the water out and rinse it out good using a cup.

The floors are either vacuumed (yes, the kids have carpet in that particular bathroom) or I just use my Orange Glo mopper in the tiled bath.

Another great tip for trying to stay on top of the 'clutter' that gets left lying around.
Take a basket (a large one, but one small enough for you to carry around with you) and make a 'clean sweep' once a day.
Fill you basket and then carry it with you throughout the house and place the items back where they belong.
Once you've done this a few days, it should only take you around 5 minutes or so to do it.

I've found my bar area is where alot of items get throwed down, and it's usually school papers, schedules from school, etc.
Those get throwed into the basket and put in the middle of the kids' bed, so that they see them when they get home & have to put them away before bedtime.

Maybe some of my rambling will have helped ya'.

[madhen]

perSue,

I grew up in a household of women who were clean and tidy, including my extended family. My mother cleaned the house, top to bottom, EVERY day. She irons bedsheets and underwear. My sister kept her room spotless and is one of those people you can just drop in on and know that the whole house will look freshly-laundered. All my female relatives are house proud, and one of my cousins is actually a housecleaner, she is so good at it!

I was the black sheep in that regard. My bedroom always looked like a small bomb had gone off in it. My bed wasn't made. My sister jokingly told me I was like Pig Pen on the Snoopy cartoons, as a small cloud of dust and debris seemed to follow me wherever I went!

I live alone, so I don't have to worry about someone not liking where I put stuff, but I have laboured for all my adult years under a conception that I have to have a house that resembles my mother's house, or my sister's, or my aunt's, etc and so on. And I have never been able to achieve that level of perfection, so I have been frustrated by my lack of skill and ability to keep a home.

Through all my frustration, however, I have learned a lesson or two, and one of them pertains to how to organize things. There are two ways to organize things: you can organize them so they look really attractive and would make the cover of "Smithsonian" as a work of modern art, or you can organize them so they are practical for you to use. If you choose the former, add a couple of hours a day into your house-cleaning time, because you will be constantly readjusting your work of art as life intrudes upon it. For example, I used to try to keep make-up organized and neat on my bathroom counter. This meant everything standing upright and/or stacked in an aesthetic little pile. Well, that meant that every time I used anything, I had to re-adjust the little stack of make-up to make it neat again. Now, I just keep my make-up in a little three-drawer organizer that sits on my counter. I can pull stuff out and throw it back in, and while I am sure Martha Stewart wouldn't approve of me using what amounts to an office supply organizer as a make-up caddy, it takes me all of about 10 seconds to clean up the counter when I'm done.

I would suggest that you try to organize things to make it as easy as possible to use them and put them away with minimum fuss. Don't worry so much about if the room looks cosmetically perfect. You are supposed to live there, after all. If you place items in a particular way, and others in the family don't use that method, then re-evaluate. Are they not following your system because they are lazy? Or because the system is too complicated and "perfect"? Can you tweak it and work your system around how things are being used? Can you talk to your family about what would make it easier for them to keep things organized?

Because I live alone, I have been able to slowly develop systems that work for me. I don't iron my underwear, nor do I fold it and stack it in little colour-coded rows in the dresser. But I've figured out how to keep it stored in such a way that it is easy for me to maintain and see what I have available. I keep baggies of dried herbs in a wire basket that hangs near my kitchen sink, instead of trying to have a neatly organized spice rack.

And if you are feeling like you are inadequate, you are probably just trying too hard to reach a level of perfection that isn't attainable or sustainable. Don't be so hard on yourself!! Your house should make you feel good, not inadequate, and you should enjoy being there. Clean and tidy is a plus, not a necessity.

[nvmommyx6]

i just don't know what else i should be doing i guess.
like dusting & how? or mopping & how often? do i disinfect the kitchen counters, with what?

what do you do and how do you remember to do it all?
all I've ever done is dishes, laundry & vacuum. I've had hints there's a lot more i "should know to do"... thanks

OK, firstly, I made myself a chores schedule, I will add the printable to this post for you!
So each day I have something specific I do! The counters (all counters) I clean with a spray bottle I mixed with half white distilled vinegar (on tougher stuff I use borax in place of comet or Ajax, it cleans better and does not have the chemicals that give me headaches and breathing issues), I let it set for about 2 minutes then wipe off. I Use the same cleaner (not the same rags!!) with the toilets, tubs and floors, it is VERY affordable and works awesome. When I clean I have wash rags I clean with, not sponges because they are full of filth! I spray the cleaner, scrub with one of those silver scrubbies to get anything "stuck" on off then wipe down with the wash rags. Then the wash rags can go right through a bleach load!
The wash rags can be bought at walmart in packs of 15 for $3.ish!!
I dust mon, wed and fri, right before I vacuum. On the weekends I do as little as humanly possible that resembles house work!
The kids have their own chore charts and so do we,

[perSue]

i guess i need to make a list of what needs done and figure it out along the way.
i dont have a level of perfection going on... frankly i dont have ANYthing going on... except a sorta ok looking vacuumed floor.
i guess i need a 'chore chart' like others have mentioned...
just wish i knew what chores wanted/needed done.
'keeping house' has never been a strong point... frankly, it's never been a priority.

i just feel like i dont know what i'm doing or what needs to be done, when or how or whatever.
organizing isnt an issue... it's what chores do "normal" ppl do that i'm expected to do...

[joyofsix]

I do what you do and feel it's fine. If something dirty catches my eye I swipe it but otherwise I usually
sweep the kitchen (when I see big messes I get around to moppin)
vaccum and dust mop the floor
pick up
do dishes and wipe counters and table
DONE!

It's your house, do what the heck you want! Put stuff where you want. I always figure Martha Stewart won't be stopping by so who's to impress?

[madhen]

I don't think there IS a specific list of chores that everyone NEEDS to do with any regularity. If you think your house is already clean, then why add more work to yourself? Because someone tells you you are "supposed" to do it? Sounds like a good way to waste time doing something that didn't really need to be done and not doing something you enjoy.

[perSue]

thanks for all your replies.
i'll end up finding out i 'should be' doing something when it's not done, cuz i didnt know.
thx anyway

[baxjul]

Hugs.

I grew up in a house, where clutter was every place. My mom's idea of cleaning was to dust and vacuum on Saturday.

Now, in my own house, I've figured out how to clean. It takes time, and you will eventually catch on.

[MoonMommy]

I am not a cleaner. I clean when necessary. However, there are areas of the house where I can't stand dirt....the bathroom and the kitchen. Clutter....eh...I have two kids, two cats and a hubby that drops his stuff all over the place. I am a mom...NOT a maid. So, I try to pick up as I go, but I don't crucify myself if the house is a "mess".

Do I dust....not really. I will if my ILs are coming for a visit, or before I put out all the Holiday decorations, or if I am feeling incredibly frisky. Do I mop...when my shoes are sticking to the floor I will actually get out the traditional mop, but otherwise, I swiffer. I do tend to sweep the floors at least a few times a week, and I do vacuum at least once a week, but if it doesn't get done...oh well.

However....my hubby doesn't care. He is ecstatic that I am a baker/cook type person. He is happy that when he gets home there is dinner going, the kids are happy, and we have clean clothes to wear. Oh...and we have enough toilet paper in the house. LOL

I grew up with a mother who is anal retentive about clean. The other day, she walked into my house and said very snarkily (while I was relaxing with a book) "Maybe you should clean your house". I found that really rude. But...hey...I was having a happy zen reading moment...my daughter was happily playing with some toys, Dh and Ds were out at soccer...she can take her comment and stick it where the sun don't shine. (which might be under my bed where the truly scary dirt lives)

[perSue]

Hugs.

I grew up in a house, where clutter was every place. My mom's idea of cleaning was to dust and vacuum on Saturday.

Now, in my own house, I've figured out how to clean. It takes time, and you will eventually catch on.

it's not catching on... it's knowing what i should be doing...
it's been 6 yrs now? i still cant do it right.
i guess vacuuming, dishes, cooking & laundry just isnt enough... i swish the bathroom toilets when i see/think of it.
but there's no schedule, dunno what i ought to do...

i'll just surf online & see if i can find a list of 'house chores'.... thx anyway