How To NOT Sell Your House

**monkeywrangler71** · 07-12-2010, 11:49 AM

When someone has booked a showing, have a giant barking dog accost them at the door, then sit in the doorway of the livingroom, restraining it, while they attempt to look around. It helps if you are also creepy and incoherant.

Don't vacuum your floors, preferrably for months or years.

**stinkbug** · 07-12-2010, 12:23 PM

LOL! It always amazed me when we were house hunting. People who demanded an appointment to view, and then you show up and there's dirty clothes on the floor, smelly cat box, dirty dishes and crap EVERYWHERE!!!

**MomToTwoBoys** · 07-12-2010, 12:46 PM

This made me laugh.

Btw monkey, how long did it take to sell your place?

**monkeywrangler71** · 07-12-2010, 12:53 PM

Originally Posted by MomToTwoBoys

This made me laugh.

Btw monkey, how long did it take to sell your place?

We had an offer by noon the day it went online. We got in on the pre-HST buying frenzy.

**forHISglory** · 07-12-2010, 01:36 PM

Don't clean: bathrooms, kitchens, floors, windows.......... I figured that if they don't bother to keep that clean, they probably don't bother with other maintainence, either.

**frugalwarrior2** · 07-12-2010, 01:37 PM

We went to a house w/ renters and they were still sleeping in the afternoon when she showed it to us. She told us there was a giant snake in the other room. An above ground pool was moldy and green in the back. The realters comment was funny-As we stood below bsmt ceiling tiles that had been punched in,she say: "I told them to clean up a little but of course they didn't."Really?

**nuisance26** · 07-12-2010, 02:27 PM

~You made me chuckle but I'd have been seriously angry if I'd gone to see a house and it was like that. The creepy and incoherent things just adds an extra special flair to the whole thing doesn't it?~

**Darlene** · 07-12-2010, 04:00 PM

When I walk into a home and immediately am odorously assaulted

& ask where you keep the mountain lion, you'll know you won't be selling your house to me.

**Bobby Rodgers** · 07-12-2010, 04:02 PM

Originally Posted by monkeywrangler71

When someone has booked a showing, have a giant barking dog accost them at the door, then sit in the doorway of the livingroom, restraining it, while they attempt to look around. It helps if you are also creepy and incoherant.

Don't vacuum your floors, preferrably for months or years.

having fun house hunting I take it?

**YankeeMom** · 07-12-2010, 04:55 PM

Oh oh I have one...

~Make sure your house is all done in the 70s! From the original avocado green appliances (and carpet!) in the kitchen, to the dark paneling in the living room to the gold lame wallpaper in the master bath to the SHAG carpet on the WALLS of a bedroom.

**pollypurebred39** · 07-12-2010, 04:59 PM

Shag carpet on the walls, *GRINS* Too Funny! I have seen that only one other time before and I thought it was just that family. Now I know! *giggles* Oh Gosh, so funny!

**ncarr** · 07-12-2010, 06:23 PM

we went to a showing yesterday and there was no lock box! We couldn't even get in

our Realtor was pretty upset since she set the appt up and they gave her a code and everything. Turns out their Realtor hadn't bothered to actually place the box at the house. good grief.

**stinkbug** · 07-12-2010, 06:32 PM

My personal favorite: We saw a house that had a largish entry way...that they decided to make into the dining room!!! That's right - A dining room table and chairs in the entry, because there was no eating area in the kitchen because they had made that into a TV room. People are crazy! We kinda just stood there...dumbfounded!

**Lady_V** · 07-12-2010, 08:05 PM

While trying not to sell your house... take a page from one of my adventures --- Have a creepy guy sitting on the sofa in the living room who can't leave because he has a shiny bracelet on his ankle...