Help my house is a mess!

[loria]

we live in a 1200 sqf home (no basment). My hubby and I, 3 kids, 1 baby and the next is due in August this year. I should mention that we also homeschool, and farm. The kids cant keep theri rooms clean, because they have too much stuff and not everything has a home. But before I can make them clean their rooms, I feel I should get the rest of the house under control! I have the same problem though, not everything has a home and I have too much stuff. Hubby does not want me to get rid of anything because he thinks I will just buy it again.
I want to but everything away that I have not used in a while, maybe start in the kitchen with all the appliances and thingies I have that have not been used for a while.
So here is the question, if I just want to clear the main living areas of the house so that upkeep can be simpler, do I go for shelving in my closets, or should I just stuff everything into boxes and totes and lable and stack them?
After I get a handle on the main living areas I will help the kids with their rooms. I was thinking of putting all but a few toys into boxes and rotating them a few times a year.
Would it help if I only kept out sesonal clothes and boots ect?
Please any ideas from the experts! I just feel so overwellmed and like it is a waste of time to even clean, I need to change something!
Lori

[nodmicks]

We do not have a usable basement or enough closets. We have lots of stacked totes. Dh was talking about getting metal containers (to be chew proof) and putting them in the barn. I can't see a draw back to it.

I hate the fact I have floor to ceiling totes behind my bedroom door but since there is not a dry basement they must go somewhere!

[monkeywrangler71]

Why does your husband believe that you will re-buy everything if you get rid of it? Is this a pattern that has repeated in the past? Or is he really the one who doesn't want to let go of stuff?

Don't let the kids put off their rooms just because your areas are also in disarray. It's okay to let them know that you struggle with the mess as much as they do. Tackle it as a family. As you purge the kitchen, have them purge their rooms.

Clothing is usually a good place to start, especially with children as they wear it out so quickly and tend not to have much emotional attachment to it. It's also easy to get rid of, just shove in a bag and drop in a donation box (or garbage). Papers are another - easy to part with, easy to dispose of. Starting with the easy stuff frees up space and give you a sense that you are getting somewhere.

Absolutely pack up your out-of-season clothing and shoes, these should not be out in any house, let alone a small one.

Are you in a location where you could easily have a yard sale? Planning a sale will give you a deadline and sense of urgency that may help speed up the process. As well, your husband may be more receptive to getting rid of stuff if you are getting something in return.

Are there items that could be put in the barn?

My general rule of thumb - totes for seasonal storage, open shelves for things that are used regularly.

[Mom2-3]

What about starting with one drawer or shelf in the kitchen? Something you could tackle in 20 minutes or less? That little clean area will make you so relieved and will actually be a bit of a jump-start to do another drawer/shelf.

[Spirit Deer]

If you have more stuff than you have space, it's not possible to keep it all and have a tidy house. Do NOT pack it away and save it for later! That just leaves you with even more of a mess to deal with later on. Obviously it makes sense to keep things like baby clothes from your last baby when you're expecting another one who will need the clothes and things like that. But if it's things you know you have no need for, it makes no sense at all to keep it. Then it just becomes a stone around your neck.

If your husband wants to keep things that are useless, then they are HIS responsibility to find a place for. Or if he won't let you get rid of anything, let him try cleaning the house in the midst of the mess and see how fast he becomes overwhelmed and frustrated.

What I've found with my husband is, if I try to involve him in the sorting process, he thinks we should keep everything. It works much better if I sort through stuff, put it in a box to get rid of, and then have him look through it to see if he wants to keep anything in the box. Very rarely, he'll pull something out but not often, and then I can get rid of 99.999% of what ~I~ want to go. If it's stuff from my sewing room or someplace else he has no real interest in or stake in, I sometimes duct tape the boxes shut and he never says anything about it.

Some things to keep in mind:
~Don't keep things because you spent 'good money' for them. Keeping the item isn't going to get you that money back and is only a reminder that money was wasted on the item. Sell it, junk it, or give it away.
~Clutter makes you feel overwhelmed and tired before you even start your day. It owns you. Get rid of it and let it know who is in charge.
~Getting rid of stuff only hurts for a little while. But mostly, it's like a weight taken off your back to unload stuff you don't need or want.
~If you've taken advantage of secondhand stores during times in your life when you really needed to be able to buy secondhand, take the perspective that donating your unwanted items to them is just giving back. By donating items that will be sold at a low cost, some of them to needy families, you are helping others as you have been helped. And at the same time you're helping yourself, too. Everyone wins!

It's probably true you'll buy back a few things you get rid of. Nobody's perfect, a few mistakes will be made, and people's needs are always changing. So what you have no use for today may be just the thing you need in a year or so. But it's been my experience, as a pack rat who's trying to reform, that of the thousands of pieces of stuff I've gotten rid of over the past ten years, I've only regretted maybe a dozen, and I can count on one hand the items I've actually replaced.

I agree, start with the easy stuff. Also start with the stuff your husband doesn't care about. Once you get some momentum, it gets easier.

[loria]

I think I could put appliances that only get used for lets say christmas dinner away in some of the old buildings on the property, that would help i think. And I will try to just set the timer for 15-20 mins so I dont get left exosted with piles left on the floors! I should be able to get the kids to at least move some of their toys outside now that it is warm out again. And I will work on putting away the clothes and footwear into my closet. I should be able to get rid of the things that hubby has never used himself.
The problem we have is that I will get a simple tool to help me in the kitchen, and then he will see one or two more things that are "better" and get them. For eg. I picked up a simple coffee maker (a jug with a press down filter) a month later hubby comes home with a fully programable coffee machein! It sits on the counter every day and gets used maybe 3 times a month for when we have company. But to put it on the shelf anoys him when he wants to use it! Same with the toaster, its on the counter, I hate the thing, never make toast, I think toast is messy, and we only eat bread once a week. So why do I need a toaster???? And why cant we just put it away!!
Anyways I just think that when the kids need to ask me "mommy where can this go?" and I always have to answer, "ummmm, just put it on the table I will find a spot" every time the help me clean, that maybe we have too much stuff.
I think I will even pack away most of the dishes and put then in the old buildings too, that should open up some storage space in the house for things that cant go outside I guess.

[mom2three]

Join the fling challenge!

I'm working slowly to get my house in order-our house is much smaller than our last one and we have added two children since then (now a family of 7). My first piece of advice-do not bring anything new into the house EXCEPT food. This is helping us even with others giving us stuff.

Second-think about what you have, how you use it, and how to best organize it. Don't get overwhelmed. It's a work in progress and you might not get a useful spot the first time. Our big downfall is paper clutter. I've learned that if I have collected a small pile to shred, I have to just do it, or I'll be sorting it again. do you have duplicates of things and, if so, do you need them? Do you have craft stuff you can use to make gifts (to get it out of your house)? Commit to finishing up stuff you have started if it's worth it or repurpose it if not. Are you keeping too many hand-me-down clothes-does the baby really need a dozen onesies (yes if you do laundry weekly, no if you do it several times per week).

If you have a family that likes to give you gifts,make suggestions that a)replace something or b) add a small something to an existing toy that your kids play with a lot or c)will be used up so not to add to clutter or d) are experiential (e.g. family pass to a museum, tickets to a play/movie theatre, etc.)

Assign your kids small chores they might see as fun-my 4 and 6 year olds wash my light switches and the front of my dishwasher this weekend-not perfect, but much better. They can wipe the fingerprints off stuff. Require they do something in their room before they get to do something special-there's no watching TV or playing computer unless basics are done +15 extra minutes of cleaning.

How old are your kids? We have been adhering to no. 1 above-things are getting broken, tossed, and not replaced.

Store out of season things -totes, under bed boxes, etc.

I have more ideas, but need to get at them myself.

Ask yourself why you have so much clutter. Picture your house decluttered. These are helping me get rid of stuff.

Amanda

[warramra]

I use under-bed storage a lot in our home. The three girls share a mid-size bedroom and choose to have twin beds instead of the bunk & loft beds we had before. They had to downsize their toys, but I also stored shared toys like legos in the family room. I put their beds on lifts (about $8 for a set of four) and can slide milk crates or plastic storage containers under the beds to hold their personal items. Wall shelves have been nice for holding books & knick-knacks. Their closet stores out-of-season and hond-me-down clothes, current items that need to be hung are in our closet. That keeps them from playing dress-up with their nice clothing.

I homeschool too, and the books, kits and craft items can be overwhelming. I store the craft materials in our coat closet on the shelves, but if I had to I could use a plastic drawer organizer to store the supplies. Most of our books are stored in cubbie-style shelving units in the family room I've picked up here and there. I like them because they can hold books, but also plastic containers with different items. File folder boxes can be good for organizing individual students papers and assignments.

I hope some of these ideas help. I've just had to look around and try to make the most of any extra space we have. Good luck with everything.

[oheoh's momma]

Hi homeschooling, farming, and a large family and expecting is tough so go easy on yourself. start small 1 room at a time. My husband said the same thing I moved from a 900 sq foot to a 3000 sg foot thing were wall to wall it was so cluttered. but did it one thing at a time give away clothes that did not fit , toys not played with, furniture that did not suit our needs. Totes for out of season clothes,1 large person is my rule. Things were organized under beds, under the couch , love seats. label things so you do not forget what it is. and remember do not over do it you are pregnant . good luck sweetie.

[oheoh's momma]

I meant to say 1 large tote per person lol

[krbshappy71]

My two cents, four cents, one dollar, sold....

Even with plenty of space its easy to accumulate too much stuff unnecessarily, don't be too hard on yourself. You've recognized the problem and are attempting to fix it!! That is GREAT!

Have you considered a deadline date for certain achievements? Say, by the end of the month you will see the top of your dining table and have dinner ON IT. Things like that. I purposely invite my mother over with the intent of cleaning my house before that date. (it works, realllly well) ha!

If you have difficulty remembering things that you have packed away try really big paper signs on the outside of totes. (I'd say use clear totes but I don't feel they are that much help once they get filled) The kids can help make the signs for their OWN totes in their OWN rooms! (or bed-area if they don't each have their own room) Then they can be in charge of putting the items in it.

You don't have to "start" with their rooms, do it in conjunction. Paper, crayons, have them make signs with you, you are making them for your stuff, they are making them for their stuff.

Don't have totes? Don't have money for totes? In a pinch I have also put signs on large black garbage bags. No joke, it works! Yes, you will hate the garbage bags sitting around with colorful signs on them at first, but there's the motivation to grab a bag, sit in front of the tv, and SORT it. Its so much easier to sort once things are in some kind of category.

Categories I tend to use: PAPERS, STUFFED ANIMALS, KITCHEN, TOOLS, PETS, SCHOOL STUFF, CLOTHING: MINE CLOTHING: "childs name" etc.

We actually had the black bag of school stuff on a closet floor the entire school year. When the kids needed something they dug into the black bag and got what they wanted. It worked, it may have been weird but it worked and at the end of the school year we picked through what was left and made decisions about it. It was just not something I got around to during the school year but we have summers off so did it then.

Hugs to you, YOU CAN DO THIS and if I was there I would help, I love organizing other people's stuff.

[shoiji]

Under the bed storage is a good idea. You can purchase the stands that raise the bed. You also might want to look into space bags to store bedding and clothes. You suck out the air and it shrinks down. May help you with storage.

I have shelves in my closets which really helps with storage.

Another way to reduce you items is to see what you might have multiples of and do not need. You may find when reorganizing that you have multiples of the same item. Then you can decide how many you really need and get rid of the extra. If you can do that then put the items in a box. If you do not need them in three months than you know you can get rid of them.

Try getting the kids to help with keeping things straightened. Make a game of it. You can not be expected to keep everything organized all by yourself.

[mamamia]

I'll post more later, but if there's anything I've learned from having 4 kids in a NYC apt, it's that the only way to go is UP. Shelves become your best friend. The place we lived in was over 100 years old, so we had 9ft. ceilings. In the kid's rooms we put up a shelf at the 8ft mark and extended it around 3 of the 4 walls. That's where they were allowed to put the things that were "special" to them. But you can build/buy them according to your needs. You might find that having 3-4 shelves in an up/down setting is better. I can testify to it working in ANY room. The other thing that helps ALOT are those rolling bins that fit under the bed. Perfect for toys. You might even be able to get rid of a toy box, freeing up the space for something more useful or for nothing at all except a little more breathing room, kwim?

I can tell you that you can make it work. My BF growing up had 11 kids in her family. They had the same exact apt as me, except they lived on the 1st floor. We lived right over them on the 2nd, and I grew up on the 3rd. But let me tell you how they managed in such a tiny apt>> the father built 3 sets of triple bunk beds, and put them in the larger of the 2 bedrooms, so 9 kids there, and the oldest 2 shared a sofa bed. The mom and dad never gave up having their own bedroom.....hence 11 kids.....lol! But they managed it all one way or another!

will try to write more later!

Theresa

just thought of something.....i bet those astro-bags would help you store your off season clothing. I'd like to try them myself!

[mamamia]

Under the bed storage is a good idea. You can purchase the stands that raise the bed. You also might want to look into space bags to store bedding and clothes. You suck out the air and it shrinks down. May help you with storage.

I have shelves in my closets which really helps with storage.

Another way to reduce you items is to see what you might have multiples of and do not need. You may find when reorganizing that you have multiples of the same item. Then you can decide how many you really need and get rid of the extra. If you can do that then put the items in a box. If you do not need them in three months than you know you can get rid of them.

Try getting the kids to help with keeping things straightened. Make a game of it. You can not be expected to keep everything organized all by yourself.

LOL! shojii, I didn't see your post till after I posted mine. Looks like we both had the same ideas!

Theresa

[mamamia]

Under the bed storage is a good idea. You can purchase the stands that raise the bed. You also might want to look into space bags to store bedding and clothes. You suck out the air and it shrinks down. May help you with storage.

I have shelves in my closets which really helps with storage.

Another way to reduce you items is to see what you might have multiples of and do not need. You may find when reorganizing that you have multiples of the same item. Then you can decide how many you really need and get rid of the extra. If you can do that then put the items in a box. If you do not need them in three months than you know you can get rid of them.

Try getting the kids to help with keeping things straightened. Make a game of it. You can not be expected to keep everything organized all by yourself.

LOL! shojii, I didn't see your post till after I posted mine. Looks like we both had the same ideas!

Theresa