my hubby hates me becuase we are moving somewhere smaller

**serenity72** · 05-08-2011, 12:28 AM

we are moving somewhere smaller. hubby has a big problem with this. NOt sure how I can get him to think about the positive side of it? Suggestions? Also he collects actions figures is there a way to display these in a small space on a tight budget. We are going from 1200 sq feet house to 800. From 4 bedroom to 2 and to no bassement from a basement. So we are loosing alot of our storage place. The other big issues are clothes how many we have, stockple of food, and books. Any tips would be appreciated. TY

**greekislandgirl** · 05-08-2011, 03:03 AM

Take advantage of vertical space: he can probably engineer some sort of display case with multiple levels (keep the levels close together, keep items of similar height together to allow for more levels) - and the same exact concept works for everything else in your house, right? You can store out of season clothing in underbed boxes. Take advantage of space under things, over things. Go all the way up to the ceiling. Personally I like to have very "storage-y" areas where storage is very dense and fills up all available space in some very specific areas, in order to have a much LESS cluttered house overall. If you have storage furniture and stacks of crates all over your house, your house will look MUCH smaller. So if you can try to keep it to certain areas it will allow the rest of the house to breathe a bit.

Books are one of the greatest decorating tools ever. You can usually get or build bookshelves pretty inexpensively, and if you have a stepstool there's no reason they can't go up to the ceiling - that can also be a nice dramatic decorating touch.

Also, this is the perfect time to simplify... do you really wear ALL those clothes, use ALL that stuff.... Donating it will give you a little tax write-off and you can feel good about it going to someone who really will use it.

About your food stockpile - I move very frequently, and I also have a stockpile. Two months before we move, I stop purchasing food and rely entirely on the stockpile with the exception of fresh milk (my husband insists on that) and some fresh vegetables (I insist on that - but mostly we use frozen that we have). When are you moving? Most people who stockpile probably have enough food to last much longer than 2 months but we were only in this apartment for 8 months so far and will be moving in 2 so I am pretty sure that after 2 months most of it will be gone. Eating your stockpile before you move means less stuff to move (potentially cheaper if you can reduce the size of the truck you need), and it will save you a lot of money in a time when you will suddenly have a lot of unexpected expenses. The first few weeks in your new home will be a time of constantly having to buy things you're not used to buying. Depending on the circumstances of the move, you may end up spending some time in a hotel or eating out - and there are always the expenses of the moving truck and gas and all that to deal with so you will appreciate not having spent anything on groceries for a few months.

I've actually made a list of things in my stockpile that it's not financially worthwhile to move to our new house - you may find that is the case for you too. If it's just a matter of shoving another box into a truck, you should take everything, but if it's a matter of needing a truck that costs $80 more, then you take a hard look at bulky or very cheap items that you can replace for less than the additional cost of moving.

**sunshine** · 05-08-2011, 05:50 AM

I suppose my question is. . . why are you moving somewhere you don't both agree on? In my house, that would cause huge marital strife.

Clothes- weed out all but the essential, books can be reread at the library- so get rid of most of those as well.

**Judi Dial** · 05-08-2011, 07:20 AM

Try grouping the books together by size too, then try flat stacking them, that is, lying them on their sides. When I had the bookstore, I had mostly paperbacks and I didn't have enough shelving to display my stock in the traditional way, but I could flatstack, and so I did. In some ways it is actually easier to read titles with the books are horizontal. The trick to this is to TRY it. If you read big, thick novels it will not save you anything because one thick book on its side doesn't save space from when it is standind up. Try it!

Also, if you can, see if there's a market or restaurant that will give you clean commercial egg boxes. These are the boxes I use for paperbacks. The standard paperback is approx. 3.5 x 7" An egg box will take four stacks of these around the edges, as in the picture

An egg box is made to hold 15 dozen eggs and is 12 (l) x 12 (w) x 14" (h) so it will take up literally 1 foot of space. the boxes hold 50+ standard paperbacks each.

Judi

**Daisygirl** · 05-08-2011, 07:32 AM

Wow - it's tough when you don't both agree on a move. (Some days I'm glad to be a single mom and the big kahuna).

Our move before this one was to a very tiny apartment and we really didn't like it. We only stayed 6 months before looking for someplace bigger.

Before you actually move, make SURE you are absolutely positive this is something you can live with.

**greekislandgirl** · 05-08-2011, 08:27 AM

Another book tip - I do this all the time - especially with paperbacks, you can usually fit two rows of books on a shelf, one in front of the other. Yes, that means you can't really see all the spines in the back row, but if you have books you don't consult often, and especially if you store your books by author or subject, you can usually still find whatever you need. You can also put a row of books vertically in the back, push them all the way to the back of the bookshelf, and then lay down a bunch of books on their sides so that you can still see at least half of the spine of the back row but you can fit another bunch in the front lying down. I usually just do two vertical rows with the ones in the back being the ones I don't use that often.

I'm guessing that the move from a 4BR to a 2BR, although maybe not your husband's ideal, is probably being done for logical reasons, like you don't really need 4BR and can't afford them? I'm sure he recognizes that - but if he doesn't like the house itself, then you should keep looking. Most people can read their spouses well enough to differentiate between "I hate that house and don't want to live in it" and "I hate that we can't afford to stay in this house and wish we didn't have to move." Obviously if the first is the true then you don't want to move into that house!

**Brat** · 05-08-2011, 08:34 AM

Those boxes of books you can use with a cloth over them as a table. If you have 2 the same size you can also put a board on them as book shelf units..I have even put a board on top of boxes and put a cloth over it all and makes a cute table to put a lamp or nick nacks on..

**Contrary Housewife** · 05-08-2011, 10:22 AM

If this is a temporary move (a few months to a few years) You might just have to live with having half your stuff packed away for a time.

Tell DH that his figures are safer packed up, as the UV from being on display all the time can damage and fade his collection. Maybe he only wants to display a few favorite or rare ones.

I know it is tough to part with books but unless they have some special value you are better packing them up for storage or getting rid of them.

When DH complains about the small space, gently point out one of the positive benefits.

**greekislandgirl** · 05-08-2011, 10:44 AM

Renting storage is another option of course - I did that for 1 year. I paid $110/month but the first month was free. It was a room about 8x10 ft as I recall but it was quite high - some of the rental storage places have really low ceilings and it makes a huge difference - in my case the ceiling was about 8 feet and it ended up being enough space for me to pack up 90% of my belongings (I moved from a 2BR to a 1BR and had about 1000 books plus a lot of furniture including a king size bed/mattress to store). For MOST people, I suspect, paying for rental storage is a waste of money and what they REALLY need is to downsize the STUFF instead of paying to store it. I spent over $1000 for one year of storing stuff and now I live in Europe and I can't use it anyway. Now I realize I should have sold it or given away the vast majority of it. Now it takes up space at my parents' house or my in laws' basement. My advice on the rental storage would be 1) make absolutely certain that you MUST retain the item and 2) reconsider whether you really MUST retain an item that you're willing to stick in storage anyway. It can be hard to disentangle ourselves from stuff but I think it's just the letting go that's the hard part, not the living without it afterwards. Obviously if these are things you use, storing them isn't very practical and you need to keep them around.

**gmarie** · 05-08-2011, 12:04 PM

We moved from 2400 sf to 600 sf in February. My husband wasn't happy about it at first, but he adjusted and we are both love the small space. We also made several hundred dollars selling things we no longer needed.

DH was the type who didn't understand why you would part with anything unless it was broken, so he has come a long way. It is important never try to convince him to sell his prized things (like the action figures or in my case, his culinary book collection). Once he realizes you do respect his things, he may be more willing to get rid of the less important clutter. Mine has parted with so many things he previously said he would never let go, it started to surprise me.

It also helps to look at the bigger picture... I assume you are moving to help you financially. Do you have a written budget that you both discuss on a regular basis?

Good luck!

**serenity72** · 05-08-2011, 04:30 PM

honestly because he is brining in no income. He is unemployed by choice. So I figure when it comes down to it the final decision lays with me since I am paying for everything. we are moving because I cant afford the stress of the bills anymore its much cheaper. It doesnt have a basement so hubby is freaking out about it. He is also freaking out because we have so much and he thinks it will make things even more crowded moving there. with me its simple get rid of things, sell, or organize/store. For example he has a weight bench He NEVER uses it but he is pissed about not having a basement in a new house to put it in. besides no basement he is happy with the house, he is just going on and on and really mean about no basement.

**shoiji** · 05-08-2011, 04:45 PM

Sorry to hear you are going through this. But the decision to downsize the home seems to make sense financially.

Is there anyway you can afford a small storage space? If that is out of the budget then your husbands needs to do a little growing up. Hopefully once the dust settles he will realize the wisdom in your decision.