Working full time - keeping house clean? - Page 3
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  1. #31
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    - If you don't have pets already, don't acquire any. Pets take a lot of time... Lots of hair to vacuum, time to exercise them properly.

    -Insist that everyone remove their shoes at the front door. Helps to keep the floors clean.

    -Buy a Roomba (electronic robot floor sweeper). Set it in the morning before you leave for work, come home to clean floors. Keeping the floors clean help a lot with keeping the dust down as well.

    -Simplify your cleaners. I only use vinegar in a spray bottle for counters and mirrors and a small container of dish detergent to squirt in toilets, sinks and tubs.

    -Keep a toilet brush in each bathroom. You'll be much more likely to want to clean if you don't have to move a wet, dirty brush around.

    -Like others have said, get rid of knick knacks and other clutter. They're dust collectors. If you have them, re-think "collections" of any kind. I know people who collect various things (baskets, ceramic pigs, tea pots, nut crackers, whatever). I can't imagine having to dust all those things and having to pick them all up to dust underneath. It's much easier to dust a shelf if you don't have to pick up a bunch of stuff.

    -Don't let the laundry pile up. Start a load every morning before work. Make sure to throw it in the dryer as soon as you can so it doesn't get that mildewy smell.

  2. #32
    Registered User nvmommyx6's Avatar
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    I am currently helping a friend straighten out a similar situation. She has 2 dogs, 1 cat and a 12yo daughter. and it gets "out of control" in her house such as you described!
    When I was a full time worker, I dove into the house 1 entire day and did a thorough cleaning of every thing. (you may have to take 2 days if your home is that large) then I made myself do the "daily" chores to keep up with it, whether it was in the evening when I got home or in the mornin before I had to leave for work.....It worked for me, good luck girlie!!
    Candy

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    I feel your pain! I get up at 3:40 a.m. and don't get home til after 5 and quite frankly I'm tired and have little time after dinner b4 I have to be in bed to start over again so who the heck feels like cleaning?!
    I try & multitask. DH will gather dirty laundry for me & leave in the laundry room. On laundry days I come in from work and turn on the wash, run upstairs & change my clothes and then come down & throw the clothes in the washer. They wash while I get dinner ready. After dinner I hang or throw in the dryer depending on the load. Wash dinner dishes or put in dishwasher and wipe down counters. Cleaning the bathroom I put cleaner in the toilet and spray down the shower/tub and meanwhile while they sit I wipe down the vanity/faucets. Then I wipe down the toilet and jump in the shower.
    On Saturday a.m. while I clean out the bunny hutch and litterboxes DH vacuums the house. Dusting gets done when I have time - LOL! Sunday a.m. I strip the beds and wash sheets in a.m. While things are drying I iron. I don't like spending my weekends cleaning so I try to do it in the a.m. with DH's help. That way we can relax with DS and do whatever. Think you need to just try and find what you can multitask with and remember not every house is spotless There's some great tips here that I'm going to incorporate into my routine.

  4. #34
    Registered User Stacia's Avatar
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    If you do not have them already buy a Swiffer sweeper vac and Swiffer mop, they are time savers. It's so much easier then mopping and sweeping alone and will actually get done. I save time by vacuuming my floors as well with my Oreck canister vac.

    Having too much stuff, makes it difficult to keep the house tidy, instead of having tons of dishes, I have 4 plates, 4 bowls and 4 cups we leave out at all times to use. And the fancy dishes are kept under the counter out of sight for when company comes over. This way dishes do not pile up.

    Take a day and clean out, cabinets, closets, drawers ect.. You will feel so much better afterwards. Only buy items that are good quality and will last for years and that will not go out of style. It's so nice to have clean organized areas where items are easy to access.

    Use the 3 year rule if you have not used it, worn it, read it or looked at it in 3 years, Get rid of it! That rule works for Husbands and Boyfriends too..lol j/k

  5. #35
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    work 12 hour days 5 day a week.

    i do a load of laundry every morning when i'm still stumbling around til the caffiene kicks in. make bed, pick up dirty clothes from where they landed night before.

    i tried the doing a room per day but then exercise wasn't getting done. now i do my exercise every morning.

    i do the cleaning chores on saturday. i found the book "speed cleaning" very helpful.
    baby step 2- see blog for actual amounts

    "stop being a victim, you are a perpetrator, taking things without paying for them is stealing, you are not a victim, you are a perpetrator. PAY THE PEOPLE YOU OWE, pray for the people you owe, and make it right. " hard nosed AA person, thumping his big book, addressed to me in AA meeting 7/30/2013

  6. #36
    Registered User erinalexmom's Avatar
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    I'm sure you know this already but having a system is what is helping me. By this I don't mean "first I clean the laundry, then the dishes" What it is systems that control the clutter in the first place.
    For example we drown in paper around here! Kids school calendars, sports forms, paycheck stubs,ect. So I have made a bill binder which makes paying bills quick and easy and all those papers are organized when we need them. I even put extra stamps, envelopes, and return labels in a envelope in there.
    I am also working on a household binder which is helping also.
    My kids drive me crazy with the coats, backpacks, and lunch bags, ect. Well we have a hall closet but they can't reach the hangers, so that obviously isn't working. So this weekend we are cleaning out an area by the back door and moving some hooks down to their level on the wall where they know all their things can go. We will have hooks for their backpacks and coats and then a wall organizer where at the end of the day they can put all their school papers in their and I can have a spot for things to be returned to school I get so tired of that mad rush in the mornings (and I do mean "mad" cause mommy is usually "mad" about 7:15 lol)
    So the first step might be thinking "what exactly is NOT working for me and how can I organize that part of my life to be streamlined?"
    Not sure if that helps but hope it does
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  7. #37
    Registered User gottadance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sibrie View Post
    Does bf help with the cooking? Can he do the cooking while you fold laundry/vacuum/etc? I like combining tasks, so usually I'm mending, ironing, or writing birthday cards while watching the telly. I also record a lot of the shows I like to watch, and then watch them when I have the time, fastforwarding the commercial breaks.

    Do you use all the bedrooms and bathrooms? If you don't use them, you only have to dust/vacuum/clean them about once a month. A quick inspection the day before guests arrive would be enough.
    Oh boy - the bf - that's another story. He's VERY traditional. He does doesn't live here but stays here about five nights a week, sometimes six. So, while he is contributing to the mess, he does very little to contribute to the upkeep. I've brought this up 2-3 times in the last year (we've been dating 18 mos and until he was really spending a lot of time here, I didn't feel that he had as much responsibility to help), but it's a battle. I cook most days he's here and when I asked him if he'd please help clean up the kitchen after a meal, he said he felt it wasn't his job, that if he cooks he cleans up his own mess - to which of course I said, well, you never cook! I told him when I was growing up, the person who cooked (my mom) did NOT clean up the mess - the kids did - of course, I don't remember my dad helping at all, but he was on the road as a truck driver a lot.

    He said he feels he does enough here and that he's hardly here (wrong) and that he does contribute - which he does - he takes out the garbage/recycling once a week, changes the bunny litter once a week and feeds the cats/buns in the a.m. I explained to him that there are more towels that are dirty, more dishes that are dirty, more mess created in the kitchen (right now there's a pot of coffee and a coffee spill that are there from Sunday a.m. that he left and I refuse to clean up.) And - that while he does some stuff that is once a week - or stuff that is once every month or three months (change the oil, wash the car), I'm cooking almost every day.

    Last week we got into it again, because I'd emptied the dishwasher twice and filled it once and he showed no inkling he was going to fill it, so the dishes piled up in the sink. Finally, I said to him, would you please fill the dishwasher and he said he'd have to think about it, that he thinks the dishes were mostly mine and that the person who made them should clean them up. I said to him (like I have in the past) that the dishes are from both of us or from me cooking meals for both of us. He kept complaining, but did it. Ugh! When I say that the dishes are from me cooking for him, then he'll say, then don't cook and I'll say, fine, I won't or I'll cook for me. (He knows I like home cooked meals and don't like to spend money eating out except as a treat).

    So then I'd asked him to clean the bathroom the other day - he uses the main bathroom most of the time and I use the master bath. Well, his idea of cleaning was awful. He didn't clean the floor, the shower wasn't all the way clean - he just didn't put any elbow grease into it. So, there I was, scrubbing the tub and shower walls. The floor is still dirty. I have to say something to him and I don't look forward to it because I know it will be a cleaning debate again.

    The thing is - I LIKE cooking. But I don't feel appreciated if I cook and then he goes and sits on his can while I'm cleaning up the counters, putting away the food and dishes.

    So, this turned into a vent, huh? Bf help cleaning...well, he's got a long way to go and I just try to appreciate the few things he does do.

  8. #38
    Registered User gottadance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinalexmom View Post
    I'm sure you know this already but having a system is what is helping me. By this I don't mean "first I clean the laundry, then the dishes" What it is systems that control the clutter in the first place.
    For example we drown in paper around here! Kids school calendars, sports forms, paycheck stubs,ect. So I have made a bill binder which makes paying bills quick and easy and all those papers are organized when we need them. I even put extra stamps, envelopes, and return labels in a envelope in there.
    I am also working on a household binder which is helping also.
    My kids drive me crazy with the coats, backpacks, and lunch bags, ect. Well we have a hall closet but they can't reach the hangers, so that obviously isn't working. So this weekend we are cleaning out an area by the back door and moving some hooks down to their level on the wall where they know all their things can go. We will have hooks for their backpacks and coats and then a wall organizer where at the end of the day they can put all their school papers in their and I can have a spot for things to be returned to school I get so tired of that mad rush in the mornings (and I do mean "mad" cause mommy is usually "mad" about 7:15 lol)
    So the first step might be thinking "what exactly is NOT working for me and how can I organize that part of my life to be streamlined?"
    Not sure if that helps but hope it does
    Yes, that's so true! IDing what is NOT working, then figuring out how to fix it. I did that with my shoes recently. Right now I have a problem with not enough hamper space - had a small one for me, but not big enough for me and the bf and so clothes are overflowing out the hamper and making a mess. Need a bigger hamper but the ones I've been seeing in the store are too tall - I need something wider, not taller. Well, add it to the list of things to find this week while I'm on vacation!

  9. #39
    Registered User Lora88's Avatar
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    Every now and then you play hooky from work and catch up just like I am doing today
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  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by gottadance View Post
    Oh boy - the bf - that's another story. He's VERY traditional. He does doesn't live here but stays here about five nights a week, sometimes six. So, while he is contributing to the mess, he does very little to contribute to the upkeep. I've brought this up 2-3 times in the last year (we've been dating 18 mos and until he was really spending a lot of time here, I didn't feel that he had as much responsibility to help), but it's a battle.
    You say he doesn't live there but he's there 5 or 6 nights a week...and in the morning he leaves from there I assume. So he's only NOT living there 1 or 2 nights a week. He's living there honey! There's only 7 nights in the week.

    Good luck on retraining him and I don't mean that to be snide. It's just he's not a kid and he's set in his ways. You said it when you said he's traditional. You may get him to do something now and then but the cleaning and cooking is going to all be yours. It all depends on how much fighting you want to do. If you have to fight all the time is the relationship worth it. It hasn't changed in 18 months why would you think it's going to change in the next 18. Kind of like thinking of changing a drunk after you marry him..you know?

    My opinion is this..you'll either have to decide if he's what you want to live with forever. Cause I don't think he'll change...he is what he is what he is...Can YOU deal with the way he is?

    Hugs and best wishes and luck
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  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by gottadance View Post
    Oh boy - the bf - that's another story. He's VERY traditional. He does doesn't live here but stays here about five nights a week, sometimes six. So, while he is contributing to the mess, he does very little to contribute to the upkeep. I've brought this up 2-3 times in the last year (we've been dating 18 mos and until he was really spending a lot of time here, I didn't feel that he had as much responsibility to help), but it's a battle. I cook most days he's here and when I asked him if he'd please help clean up the kitchen after a meal, he said he felt it wasn't his job, that if he cooks he cleans up his own mess - to which of course I said, well, you never cook! I told him when I was growing up, the person who cooked (my mom) did NOT clean up the mess - the kids did - of course, I don't remember my dad helping at all, but he was on the road as a truck driver a lot.

    He said he feels he does enough here and that he's hardly here (wrong) and that he does contribute - which he does - he takes out the garbage/recycling once a week, changes the bunny litter once a week and feeds the cats/buns in the a.m. I explained to him that there are more towels that are dirty, more dishes that are dirty, more mess created in the kitchen (right now there's a pot of coffee and a coffee spill that are there from Sunday a.m. that he left and I refuse to clean up.) And - that while he does some stuff that is once a week - or stuff that is once every month or three months (change the oil, wash the car), I'm cooking almost every day.

    Last week we got into it again, because I'd emptied the dishwasher twice and filled it once and he showed no inkling he was going to fill it, so the dishes piled up in the sink. Finally, I said to him, would you please fill the dishwasher and he said he'd have to think about it, that he thinks the dishes were mostly mine and that the person who made them should clean them up. I said to him (like I have in the past) that the dishes are from both of us or from me cooking meals for both of us. He kept complaining, but did it. Ugh! When I say that the dishes are from me cooking for him, then he'll say, then don't cook and I'll say, fine, I won't or I'll cook for me. (He knows I like home cooked meals and don't like to spend money eating out except as a treat).

    So then I'd asked him to clean the bathroom the other day - he uses the main bathroom most of the time and I use the master bath. Well, his idea of cleaning was awful. He didn't clean the floor, the shower wasn't all the way clean - he just didn't put any elbow grease into it. So, there I was, scrubbing the tub and shower walls. The floor is still dirty. I have to say something to him and I don't look forward to it because I know it will be a cleaning debate again.

    The thing is - I LIKE cooking. But I don't feel appreciated if I cook and then he goes and sits on his can while I'm cleaning up the counters, putting away the food and dishes.

    So, this turned into a vent, huh? Bf help cleaning...well, he's got a long way to go and I just try to appreciate the few things he does do.
    GRRRR!!!!! How frustrating!!!!
    In my house it was "You eat, you clean. End of story."
    And I totally get the part about you liking to cook (and probably enjoying taking care of him) but it almost sounds like he has an attitude of entitlement and is starting to take you for granted already.

    Maybe this is snide, but the next time he comes over I'd make up the meal, etc. Then dish yourself up a big helping and sit down to eat it. When he wonders about his dinner, I'd just play all innocent and respond with "And what were you planning on making for your dinner?" Since YOU did all the cooking and YOU made all the dishes dirty and YOU are going to have to clean them all up, it makes sense that YOU are the only one who is going to eat the dinner that YOU made.

    I agree w. Nikosan99, though: It doesn't sound like he is going to change anytime soon, so you'll probably have to decide if this is something that you can live with.

  12. #42
    Registered User Libby's Avatar
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    gottadance - maybe do a trade off? You do all the cooking and cleaning up and UP his duties to compensate. Hash it out and get the message across to him of what is expected.

    This does not sound like an equal partnership (to me) and still will not be once you two get married. It doesn't have to be 50/50 but boundaries & expectations need to be vocalized now rather then later. Having said that, I know you were just venting and I am sure there are plenty of other positive things going on in your relationship that are wonderful

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    Quote Originally Posted by Missourimom View Post
    If you think it's crazy now, wait until you add a little one to the mix.
    I KNOW!!!! That's what I'm thinking! I can barely keep it up now--how do moms do it? LOL Well, I'm thinking that when my elderly cat goes I'll just have one instead of two. Likewise, when the bunnies go, I'm done with buns. The pets create so much work - barf, litter, fur.

  14. #44
    Registered User gottadance's Avatar
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    yeah, the bf is generally a very good guy and this weekend he did put his handyman skills to work and fixed a few things for me - but this issue with the kitchen - ARGH. I agree that he IS living with me for all intents and purposes, but he just doesn't see it that way. It's an issue that we're going to have to keep hashing out. Tonight he did help clear the dishes and he filled the dishwasher after I emptied it - he even wiped a counter. LOL But I could tell he didn't like it, I just didn't say anything and kept working. He does do his own laundry and throws in my stuff with his. Once he officially moves in (when I have the ring on my finger), we're going to sit down and talk about division of chores. I saw a Dr. Phil recently with a couple of husbands that were the same way - but they'd been married a while - I don't know how the wives put up with it. One of the guys said, well I do the outside stuff and the car stuff - and Dr. Phil called him on it by asking, well, how often is that? Like once a week, once a month, etc? Meanwhile, the wife's cooking, picking up, doing laundry every day. Well, at least I feel like I'm not alone - and we're not married - I will be setting these rules before we get married.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gottadance View Post
    yeah, the bf is generally a very good guy and this weekend he did put his handyman skills to work and fixed a few things for me - but this issue with the kitchen - ARGH. I agree that he IS living with me for all intents and purposes, but he just doesn't see it that way. It's an issue that we're going to have to keep hashing out. Tonight he did help clear the dishes and he filled the dishwasher after I emptied it - he even wiped a counter. LOL But I could tell he didn't like it, I just didn't say anything and kept working. He does do his own laundry and throws in my stuff with his. Once he officially moves in (when I have the ring on my finger), we're going to sit down and talk about division of chores. I saw a Dr. Phil recently with a couple of husbands that were the same way - but they'd been married a while - I don't know how the wives put up with it. One of the guys said, well I do the outside stuff and the car stuff - and Dr. Phil called him on it by asking, well, how often is that? Like once a week, once a month, etc? Meanwhile, the wife's cooking, picking up, doing laundry every day. Well, at least I feel like I'm not alone - and we're not married - I will be setting these rules before we get married.
    my ex-husband was like this. he wouldn't budge. rather than get an ulcer i got a twice a week housekeeper.
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    "stop being a victim, you are a perpetrator, taking things without paying for them is stealing, you are not a victim, you are a perpetrator. PAY THE PEOPLE YOU OWE, pray for the people you owe, and make it right. " hard nosed AA person, thumping his big book, addressed to me in AA meeting 7/30/2013

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