Anyone spouse/partner doesn't like cleaning people in house when not home? - Page 2
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  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by NikoSan999 View Post
    No offense intended ... BUT is this the same guy that spent 4 to 5 days/nights a week with you but you said didn't live there. The same one that wouldn't lift a finger to help you in the house. That you had to argue with to take out the trash or take his dishes to the sink. The same one that said it wasn't "his job". I remember that thread very well.

    If it is then HE didn't/and still doesn't want to do anything beyond sit on his arse while you do all the housework...he doesn't want ANYONE else helping you do housework....you DO work fulltime if I remember that other thread you started. So....

    I'll stick with I said on the other thread a few months ago...you'd better think long and hard about this guy moving in or marrying him or anything else. He's got control issues.

    "I'd tried two cleaning services before this and thought they did a bad job for the $, so I didn't retain them - I don't want to lose this one."
    Then don't. It's going to either go his way or your way. You're paying the bill. Make it go yours unless he's going to do 50% of the work around there and doesn't mean just mowing the grass. Dishes, cooking and ALL cleaning. OR....you could quit your job and stay home...be a housewife and HE can pay ALL the bills....bet he doesn't want that even more.

    i remember that post. he's just like my ex-h. "traditional". he had a stay at home mom all his life. to solve the problem, i got a twice a week housekeeper. it really worked and neither of us got an ulcer. can i recommend you move the professionals to one a week instead of twice a month? you won't regret it.

    i'm not married anymore and do my own housework, without ulcers or irritation.

    also, i recently bought two robot vacuum cleaners. i can't tell you how much my life has changed since buying them. for your situation, i recommend the neato. check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y021R...eature=related
    baby step 2- see blog for actual amounts

    "stop being a victim, you are a perpetrator, taking things without paying for them is stealing, you are not a victim, you are a perpetrator. PAY THE PEOPLE YOU OWE, pray for the people you owe, and make it right. " hard nosed AA person, thumping his big book, addressed to me in AA meeting 7/30/2013

  2. #17
    Registered User cab54's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalfranny View Post
    Hmmmmmmmmmm..............let's see, you hired the people six weeks ago...........nothing was said, no comment, zip, not even an 'inquiry' about how you deal with people there when you aren't home?.............nada..........zip...........not even 'wonderment'........

    THEN....he starts to move in and wants to makes CHANGES, and complains about how you run your house???? ...........RED FLAG...........red flag!!!

    MAYBE HE WOULD WANT TO CLEAN IT????????????

    First........if you are happy with the cleaning people...........THEN KEEP THEM...........your house, you pay the tab.......but I think some SERIOUS COMMUNICATION is needed here.................before it goes any further.
    I'm with FF on this one. Sounds like very controlling behavior on his part to me. I would be seriously concerned about a neat freak/FelixUnger who was moving into my slightly messy (happy) home to start with, but his comments scare me for YOU. Red flag, for sure. It won't be the only thing he wants to change.
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  3. #18
    Registered User Libby's Avatar
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    Let me just say that I am envious of you I have always wanted a 'molly' (molly maid/cleaning person or service) but I can not justify the expense right now b/c I am home with dad all day and am able bodied. Having said that, I'd have molly tackle the bigger things I dislike doing - specialty cleaning (once a month stuff?) vs the day to day. But everyone has a different list of chores for their molly right?

    I agree with asking fiance why he's suddenly uneasy with the cleaning person though he knew they were already hired there before he started moving his stuff in. Perhaps offer him 'one room' (or secured area) that is exempt from being cleaned that HE IS responsible for cleaning.

    Could he be against the cleaning service b/c he's never met them OR didn't have any input as to whom you hired?

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by NikoSan999 View Post
    No offense intended ... It's going to either go his way or your way. You're paying the bill. Make it go yours unless he's going to do 50% of the work around there and doesn't mean just mowing the grass. Dishes, cooking and ALL cleaning. OR....you could quit your job and stay home...be a housewife and HE can pay ALL the bills....bet he doesn't want that even more.

    [/COLOR]
    Actually NikkiSan99, that might be exactly what he wants. For her to stay home so he has control over her. If he's the controlling type, they want to take care of the 'little woman'. And they will complain bitterly about how she doesn't go out to work to help support the household. And when she does work they complain about how she neglects the housework, etc. You can't win for losing. Heaven help the 'Little Woman' if she should have a health problem that precludes being able to do housework!

    I would be asking him what he sees in the future for you as a couple. What his goals, dreams, wishes are. And if he doesn't answer I'd suggest some pre-marital counselling, just to be sure you are on the same page.

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