Who picked your house?
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  1. #1
    Moderator nuisance26's Avatar
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    Question Who picked your house?

    ~I haven't been able to stop thinking about house #3 from our last outing. Hubs agreed to go back and take another look with a more open mind. I sketched the floor plans and interior decorating fixes we could do cheaply to easily update the 70's flooring and colors and showed them to him since his imagination for such things isn't the best.
    To make the trip even more interesting, we'll be re-viewing the house in the neighborhood he liked and a new-on-the market house that is beautiful, ready to move in and cheap.
    I'm actually kind of annoyed at myself for liking the retro house and finding something so soon. I may wonder later if we didn't get a truly accurate picture of what's out there. That's probably Ms. Perfectionist talking though. I've been casually looking at homes with our criteria for well over 6 months(2-3 hours a week online)and seriously for about 6 weeks(1-2 hours a day). I wouldn't be surprised if I've viewed, mapped and calculated distances to DH's work for over 500 homes at this point in serious looking.
    I think it would be great to move on to the actual fixing up of our new home since the shopping for it is something that is truly exhausting for me. And I especially don't want to wait until near when our lease is up and rush to buy any old box house that has enough space.
    After talking DH's ear off about the house this week, he finally started looking at houses online last night. It's been 100% my job so far and he's seen only the ones I whittle down as possibilities. I think when he sees all the houses he has to rule out because of bad areas, traffic, distance, and bad yards, he'll be able to understand why I think the retro house would be good for us.
    When we bought our house in NJ, we both walked in and felt relieved that we'd found something that was nice and would work for us. Neither of us loved it but we liked enough about it and we were down to the wire with time. We bought it in late September, hubby moved in and we got married in early November when I moved in. We have an opportunity here to do it differently and find something to love.
    I was hoping that we'd walk into a place here and both feel the same kind of feeling about the house and we'd "know" it's the one. Does that happen?
    I'm trying so hard to be considerate to what he says he wants but to be completely honest, he's never shown any interest in our home environment except to occasionally say that he wanted an entertainment room and a hot tub. I have no problem promising him a hot tub and a flat screen tv for the family room no matter what we buy. It's like pulling teeth trying to get home to tell me he won't resent buying a place he doesn't love as much as I do. I don't want to assert that my opinion on what we buy is more important but logically it kind of is. I'm out of the house about 5 hours a week. He's out of the house 55 hours out of the week. That's half his waking hours he won't even be here. He is really stressed and busy at work and will be for another year or so and I know that's why he's apprehensive about taking on a house that needs work. But I know him and he worries way too much about things that end up being easy. I'm not a romantic at all but I can't help be think of that place as a family homestead. If we work as a family to rip up the carpets and do the landscaping, if the kids pick their room colors and help paint, I think it would feel like ours. The move-in-ready houses DH prefers are all just so vanilla and they represent someone else's taste or, worse yet, the assumed taste of the masses. They're great in space, light and low maintenance but they're incredibly dull and impersonal.
    He's still not quite getting it when I explain trying to make a blank slate look like our personalities live there. It still involves painting, new flooring(even if it's just large area rugs), furniture shopping and restoration(to save some money), disguising problem areas with decorating tricks, sewing curtains, etc. From my angle, the effort involves to rehab an older house and personalize a new one doesn't seem to terribly different.
    And we did that with our last place. I just started liking that place when we had to leave. We'd been personalizing the space over the last 5 years of living there and it made a huge difference in my pride of ownership. I want to start liking our new place right away. We only have another 15 years or so to do the bulk of raising kids. I really want them to remember this home as an awesome place.
    So after all that, who picked your house? How did you and your family feel about it? If there was a difference if opinion, how was it resolved? ~

  2. #2
    Moderator monkeywrangler71's Avatar
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    When it comes down to it, I have to love it and my husband just needs to live in it. He can't see past flowered wallpaper and knick knacks, even when the space is better; he liked the new houses that we looked at but I just found them soulless. Every house ive bought ive walked into the first time i saw it and felt like i was home. I think women have a more emotional attachment to their house than men do, and I wouldn't buy a place if I didn't feel that.

  3. #3
    Registered User Nadders11's Avatar
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    My dh picked this house at 19, when he was single. It was one of the first places he looked at. It was a total fixer upper in a cheap area. But he saw the potential. Big backyard and large frontyard, no alleyway, steam room, dugout crawlspace which was actually useable. I moved in about 6 months after he bought it. We lived in squalor for years but we owned the house and were building equity while living like young renters. We even had blankets on the windows for years...sigh.

    5 years and a multitude of roommates later our 1970s trashed house was ready for a complete overhaul. And I mean, complete. Every inch was reno'd, most down to studs. Backyard included. All that is left is our front yard and that dugout crawlspace....we're thinking future playroom.

    And now we LOVE our house. Thinking about where it's come from to how it is now, is amazing. A lot of the time I stare out into my backyard and smile because it's so awesome. It's completely private in a city, no way to access it from the back for security and full of awesome...including a huge garage we added, hottub and a beautiful lawn. (all things we dreamed of for years).

    Yes it's small...maybe 1000 sq ft, but I couldn't imagine buying a cookie cutter house. Dh's brother just bought (possession yesterday) a brand new home for 540000.....nothing special, open to neighbors, no finished basement. Dh was there yesterday and the new railing on the deck is wobbly. New homes are rarely worth the cost.

    I would buy another fixer upper in a good location with a good lot anyday. Anything you do adds equity and makes the house yours. Especially if this will be a long term house, go for one you can make your own. Live in it a while and dream. Think outside the box. We switched a window for a door in our kitchen...works amazing. We took out our living room closet put up our tv on that wall, added a electric fireplace underneath, got rid of the steamroom, added another bathroom downstairs to make a master suite. Our garage was made bigger to add a rec room at one end.

    All that to say...go with your gut on the older home

  4. #4
    Registered User josantoro's Avatar
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    DH is clueless about "decor" and things like that but he is very knowledgable about building. When we bought our first house (old fixer upper) it was with the understanding that we would be building a NEW house next door (7 acres) for us to live in. He HATES working on old houses.

  5. #5
    Registered User FrabjousDay's Avatar
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    We're on our fourth home. The selection process has been different for each.

    First home. Selected by my husband with zero input from me. I was in another city finishing my undergraduate work. He had accepted a job and relocated a year before I was able to join him. It was a huge Victorian home that had been converted into two townhouses. Gorgeous woodwork, soaring ceilings, nice layout and zero lawn (we had no time or interest in yard work at that time). He knew I would love it, and he was right.

    Second home. We chose together and purchased from a friend. It was a small adorable shabby chic style bungalow that had been completed gutted and updated so that upkeep was minor. Minimal yard, but a nice side patio/garden for hanging out and grilling with friends. Quiet neighborhood with mature trees, well tended gardens and friendly neighbors.

    Third home. We relocated to a new city. This was the only time we've done an actual "house search" and I didn't love the experience. We saw lots of houses, spent way too much time with real estate agents, eventually everything started blurring together. We knew it wouldn't a long term home for us so looked for something that would fit our needs at the time, but be easy to sell when we were done with it. Manageable lawn, contemporary layout, great neighborhood/schools, connected to an extensive trail system. It worked well at the time, made money for us when it sold (less than a week on the market), but felt very generic/cookie-cutter-ish to me.

    Current home. We live in my hometown and I've always loved this house. It is a lovely brick ranch style home that was custom built in the 50's and has only had one owner prior to us. It sits on an over-sized double lot with mature trees and established gardens. We plan/hope on being here for a while. Great built-ins/woodwork, ample space for entertaining indoors and out, solid high quality construction/craftsmanship. My husband purchased it without my knowledge and surprised me. We've done some minor updates (removing wallpaper, flooring changes, paint). We absolutely love it.

  6. #6
    Registered User OOwl's Avatar
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    We moved to a new house last year. I picked it, or, should I say IT picked ME. I speak from experience when I say that when you walk into THE house, the one where little bluebirds twitter about your head and a choir of cherubs plays harp music, that you might as well just quit looking right then and succumb to it. It will haunt you from that point on, whether you actually buy it or not. Sometimes, I haven't purchased THE house and then I'd spend YEARS thinking about it, driving by it just to look at it again, never satisfied, even when the house we purchased was newer, nicer, or fancier. THIS time, I bought THE house and couldn't be happier. I think my husband would rather me be totally content with my house than have any measure of comfort another house may provide. For me, there is just no ignoring those "twittering bluebirds." Good luck on your choice!
    Totally debt free since January 2011.
    Fully funded Emergency Fund complete December 12, 2011! Yeah!


  7. #7
    Registered User stinkbug's Avatar
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    Dh and I happened upon this open house...walked in, looked at each other and said *This is it!* We've been here 10 years. Still love it. No regrets. Will be paid off in 6 more years!
    Stinkbug


    More wagging - Less barking

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    Registered User calimomx2's Avatar
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    Dh and I both knew the minute we walked into this house that it was going to be our home. We both fell in love with it and at Christmas we will have lived here 25 years!

  9. #9
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    Dh picked the house we live in now. We had it under contract a week before I saw it in person. It's been six years this month that we closed on it. No regrets. Love the house and location.

    Our first house, dh was pretty unimpressed with initially. I thought it was perfect for our family, so we bought it. It was a fixer-upper we bought while in college. Later we sold it for a nice profit. No regrets with that one either.

  10. #10
    Registered User frugalfranny's Avatar
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    My house picked me..........had lived here for couple years before purchasing........even the purchase was a 'fluke' as it wasn't for sale!

  11. #11
    Registered User nodmicks's Avatar
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    I was the one gaga over our current home. I'm the more picky person that had to fall in love with it. We are currently looking and dh drove me to see 40 yesterday so I could see how the lots were situated. We narrowed it down to 12. Since some were int he city limits and some in townships I further narrowed it down to townships since the " in the city limit" taxes are much higher.

  12. #12
    Registered User Neeley's Avatar
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    We all did. It was a joint effort between the hubs, DD, DS and me.

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    Registered User MissSeetonFan's Avatar
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    We're still renters. But I am usually the one to find the houses to look at. My husband and I are picky about different things. We both have to agree on things for the final choice. This last move was pretty much mine though.
    MissSeetonFan

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    Registered User forHISglory's Avatar
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    Hubby and I have the same tastes. So we made a list of needs and wants. In doing so, we looked at our lifestyle, our hobbies, our finances, our priorities. And we spent a lot of time in prayer, asking God to provide what we needed.

    We tend to entertain a lot, and have large groups of family and friends over. So we needed space for that. We wanted an open plan for that entertaining. We like house plants, gardening, and outdoor plants, so needed area for that. We had loads of books and wanted library space. We each enjoy crafting; I do paper crafts and he does woodworking, so again we needed space. I love to cook, and wanted kitchen space. Now, keep in mind that these spaces didn't have to be perfect. We knew that we were capable of doing some reno, or could hire the reno that we weren't capable of. But it's hard to create more space. We wanted at least 3 bedrooms and 2 baths because we have frequent overnight guests. We wanted a home that was structurally sound and had good "guts" (plumbing, wiring, construction, etc.). We wanted to be in safe area of town, and an area that was established and relatively quiet. Yet we wanted to be close to the limited shopping that we do. We wanted a home that is easy to care for, which is especially important as we age.

    God provided. Our current home meets everything on the list. We have done some reno, completely gutting the kitchen and master bath, and adding some lights. We put in new carpet and tile. We redid the pantry. We put in a garden, a hot tub, and a small barn in the back for Hubby's shop. We made the 4th bedroom into my craft room. And we have not only 2 bathrooms, but 3 full baths!!! A bonus is a nice fireplace, which wasn't on our list, and a beautiful sunroom, which is great for my indoor plants. There is a large living room, and even larger family room, plus a rec room in the basement. So we have quiet space, TV space, game space, lively space for all of our entertaining.

    We looked at a lot of homes, and my first impression of many was that they were dirty and smelly. I didn't want to look past the front door, thinking that if the owners lived in that way, then what else did they let slide about maintenance and repairs. When Hubby and I walked into this current home, it smelled good, and showed evidence of care and respect for the home. We knew from the first minute that this would be the place. It's an older home, but has such character and we are completely "at home."
    Spiritual:
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    Our house was a bit of both of us. DH had it in his head to move, and I was all for it. But we never found anything that was just right or worth moving for. Until DH found the house we now live in on the MLS site last October. We walked in the door and I was IN LOVE. I had to live here. I saw but didn't care about the mess, the outdated decor, the packed-to-the-rafters basement and garage. It look a long time to sell our house (apparently the market slowed down just the week before we listed), but we finally did and took possession of this house in April.

    There were times during the whole process that DH didn't want to move anymore, and I understood the stress and would have gotten over it if we lost this house, but I really, really, really didn't want to

    And... We love it here. We're working on it, bit-by-bit to make it ours and transform what doesn't work for us into amazing space that does. ( I blogged a bit about our adventures hiring a dumpster and spending 3 days clearing out the house of debris and clutter before starting to paint etc to prep for moving in!) Neither of us can even imagine living anywhere else now.

    And Nusiance26 - I hear you - I'm here 24/7 with four of my kids and DH is here on weekends and between 7pm and 9am on weekdays, so to me, at the end of the day, it was really important for me to LOVE any house we gave up our mortgage-free status to buy


    Allison

    Blogging at thekeswickblog.com and SAHM to DS 19 (flown the coop!), DS 8, DS 7, DS 5, and DD 3 and married to my super



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