I need a little help.... 1st some background...Flylday?
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  1. #1
    Registered User KimZ's Avatar
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    Default I need a little help.... 1st some background...Flylday?

    So let me tell you the background 1st.

    I'm a single mom that moved in with my mom, brother, and sister a few years ago. We blended all the stuff together....I work full time - my Mom works full time - Brother moved to Colorado and sister is in college at FSU.... My house is OVER RUN with stuff, I am not the worlds greatest organizer... I have this problem of getting rid of things in fear that I may still need them... and I am running out of patients and money trying to get this house back in order...

    This is what I need :-)

    I need a direction and a TON OF ENCOURAGEMENT and some very well organized minds which I know you have! I am a home body as much as I can be... I LOVE TO COOK... but I can't for the life of me organize anything (I was even thinking of taking a class)and because I can't my house never looks well clean .... I know there is Flylady and I did do it a few years ago but with my hectic schedule - they just didn't work well together.
    Kim - Single mom to one 14 year old High School and Competitive

    7/14 - My savings is for saving, not for spending

    Pound a week challenge: 1/25
    Grocery Challenge: 0/12
    Days not taking anything out of savings to live : 10/365
    New Roof: 0/$7500.00
    RePlumb 0/$3500

  2. #2
    Registered User josantoro's Avatar
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    Are you in your house or your mom's? Start by getting rid of your stuff. Set a small goal,, maybe 5 items a day??

    Ask yourself, what is the worst that could happen if I throw this out and then find I need it? Usually the answer will be, I would have to get another one. If you haven't used it in a while, take a chance and get rid of it.

    What kind of things are you having the most problems with?

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    Registered User Nadders11's Avatar
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    If I lived closer I would come over and help because I love to clean and organize. I tried fly lady a while back but it didn't work for me either. I needed to develop my own thing.

    I live in a pretty small house. I don't have room for crap. All my crap needs a home, because clutter drives me bonkers. Put like things together and then find them a home. Start small...pick a room. Figure out what will "live" in the room, sort everything. Get them baskets or boxes or whatever to hold them and take those things that don't belong out. I have a spot in my living room I collect things that don't belong and then they get put away in their homes in other rooms by the next day. It's on my fireplace mantel out in the open so it makes me mad and I move them.

    Purge. Recycle and give away. If you really think you'll need them, put them out of sight( my stuff is in the crawlspace) in a bin with a label on it. If you haven't touched something in a year, get rid of it.

    I used to be a pack rat growing up. Kept everything....thinking years from now I'd like to look at that movie stub from 1997. Not. Then my house burnt down and I lost 99.9% of my stuff. I got over it. Now I don't want to dwell on stuff that doesn't matter. I purge my things a couple times a year. Sell or give it away. I'm attached to very little now. It's awesome. I'm left with stuff I like, but don't need.

    Do you have habits that contribute to the clutter? Like not sorting papers/mail? I have a basket by my back door with file folders in it. I sort all mail or papers as soon as I touch them, if it's a bill I need to pay it goes with my calendar/budget book. When it's paid, it's filed.

    Do you have a basic clean up routine you do regularly? When I put my kid to bed, I turn on Dave Ramsey and clean up my kitchen and living room. Usually takes 30 mins to clean it all, including floors. Ready for the next day. A few days a week for a hour each time I tackle bathrooms, laundry and other stuff. Makes a huge difference not letting things pile up and having to take hours to clean your house. I used to do that, dreaded it...the mess made me depressed. Now cleaning every day is a habit and a feel great knowing I have a clean slate for the next day. Music or a podcast will help. I listen to Dave Ramsey's show and sometimes I'm disappointed when I'm done cleaning, but have more to listen to.

    Making a list of the things I need to do helps too. But you have to do it once you make the list. Helps me when I feel the mess is overwhelming.

    That's all I can think of right now. Good luck, it's worth the effort!

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    Registered User KimZ's Avatar
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    It's my mom's house.... but DD and I occupy of the rooms. My Kitchen is a DISASTER area! We have pots and pans that fall out of the cabinets everytime we open the closet door.... we have litterly 50 glasses and mugs ... why I don't know... we have way too much stuff and I don't know how to organize it to be user friendly!
    Kim - Single mom to one 14 year old High School and Competitive

    7/14 - My savings is for saving, not for spending

    Pound a week challenge: 1/25
    Grocery Challenge: 0/12
    Days not taking anything out of savings to live : 10/365
    New Roof: 0/$7500.00
    RePlumb 0/$3500

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    Registered User Nadders11's Avatar
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    Purge! Only keep those things you like and will fit in the space. Put the rest away in a box, and see if you really need them. Then get rid of anything you haven't used in a month. Yard sale maybe?? Make some money from all the extra stuff.

    Empty all cupboards, be ruthless...If you set extras aside, you haven't gotten rid of them...you can always go get that thing you miss and can't live without. But try living with less, I bet youll like it.

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    Registered User Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    I know your pain. I was raised never to throw anything away. My mother saved (and still does) all packaging from anything she ever purchased, and for a long time I did the same, but I got over that about thirty years ago. She still won't get rid of clothes she knows she'll never wear again, cardboard boxes stuff was delivered in, cookware she doesn't use, blankets she won't live long enough to use because she won't get rid of the ones that are almost rags but still have some wear in them, etc. I'm getting better about it all, but still have way too much stuff. We're working on purging and my husband is finally on the same page, so that helps a lot. It's taken a while but I now have no problem donating or throwing things I know I won't use. It's hard at first, but it does get easier.

    I've found it helps if I can designate a reasonable space for a particular type of item. Like I have one cabinet shelf for mugs and all our mugs MUST fit on that shelf, or else some decisions have to be made. Period, no exceptions, because otherwise as soon as mugs start migrating somewhere else, that's the first sign they're going to get out of control. I built a large pot rack and all the hooks are now full, so I cannot buy anymore cast iron cookware unless I get rid of a piece from the rack to make room. Having designated spaces helps a lot to keep clutter from coming in, because I know the spaces are full and it's a lot easier to keep from buying something when I know I don't have anywhere to go with it.

    I'm doing better about not letting new projects get out of hand, too. I'm planning to get into scrapbooking in a small way in the near future, so have been collecting supplies and tucking them away in an organizer made for scrapbooking. I found a beautiful, huge scrapbooking supplies case at Goodwill today for only $6. It's twice the size of the one I have and super nice. But I don't want twice as much scrapbooking supplies and I don't have twice as much room as the current supplies case to store it, so I reluctantly left the fancy case at GW. I'm feeling rather proud of myself for that because it's a personal victory for me. A few hours later, I'm very happy I didn't bring the new case home.

    Find a place to set out boxes labeled DONATE, TOSS, and KEEP. Go through one cabinet at a time and put each item in the appropriate box. When the TOSS and DONATE boxes are full, get rid of them ASAP.

    If it helps, I've gotten rid of thousands of items over the past ten years. I have regretted maybe a half dozen of them. A couple I replaced. The rest I just got over it. It's really not worth hanging onto the other thousands of items 'just in case'. Once you started doing significant purging, you will not believe how much weight comes off your back because you're in charge then instead of your excess junk, and you feel a lot better because you're not constantly fighting your stuff for living space in your own house. The best thing to do is just start with things that don't have any emotional meaning to you, IOW the easy stuff. Once you get used to the idea of purging, it will get a lot easier.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    “Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness possesses you.” -Mildred Lisette Norman
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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    Registered User KimZ's Avatar
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    OK I can't quote messages... Fustrating ...

    Nadders - I'm sorry you lost everything that must have been devistating!

    I really appreciate your advice and I am thinking what I need to do is actually document it so that I get what I planned for that 1 week done
    Kim - Single mom to one 14 year old High School and Competitive

    7/14 - My savings is for saving, not for spending

    Pound a week challenge: 1/25
    Grocery Challenge: 0/12
    Days not taking anything out of savings to live : 10/365
    New Roof: 0/$7500.00
    RePlumb 0/$3500

  8. #8
    Registered User KimZ's Avatar
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    Spirit.... I'm glad to know I am NOT alone! Thanks So much for your advice
    Kim - Single mom to one 14 year old High School and Competitive

    7/14 - My savings is for saving, not for spending

    Pound a week challenge: 1/25
    Grocery Challenge: 0/12
    Days not taking anything out of savings to live : 10/365
    New Roof: 0/$7500.00
    RePlumb 0/$3500

  9. #9
    Registered User Contrary Housewife's Avatar
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    I was a packrat for a long time, keeping all kinds of junk "just in case I might need it later." Then I became ashamed of the amount of CRAP I had piled around, and the effort I had put into carting it around with me move after move.

    It's easier to get rid of things you haven't seen in a long time. Towards that end, how about cleaning out the kitchen cupboards?

    Empty out the pots and the glassware. Clean the cupboard. Put back ONLY enough glasses as will fit comfortably. If you have multiple sets, keep the one with the most pieces, or the most useful sizes. Put the rest in a box and put it in the garage. Do the same with the pots and pans. Only keep a few that you use often. Put the rest in the garage. If you NEED another pan go get one, otherwise, leave them be.

    Now, in the fall, or maybe next spring, have a garage sale.
    Use it up, Wear it out,
    Make it do, Or do without. ~unknown

    You can't always get what you want
    But if you try sometimes you just might find
    You get what you need ~Rolling Stones

    A clean house is a sign of a wasted life. ~unknown

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    You might also want to try the "Fling 2012 things in 2012" thread we have going here. I find it motivating to be able to post the things I've tossed, even if it's something as small as 5 pieces of paper.

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    Registered User NicJean's Avatar
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    Start small: one cabinet, shelf, or tabletop. If you're like me, a room gets way to overwhelming, then I end up with a million
    piles, get discouraged and come to a complete standstill. Do the Toss, Keep, Put Away boxes for an hour, tops. Put stuff away,
    then get on with life until you have another chunk of time.

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    Hello Sister

    I think FlyLady is more of a lifestyle than a quick fix. I've stopped and started many times with various results each time but each time it gets easier to let go of 'stuff'.
    and once you start to see how nice a organized cabinet looks when you open it up and nothing falls in your face you realize that (or I did) no one needs 27 coffee cups when no one drinks coffee-(well maybe a cup every few mths). I love kitchen gadgets that make cooking easier- but realized I was allowing that to take over somewhat in my small kitchen/laundry combo. so I gifted, donated and trashed until I was dizzy and I am still finding all manner of 'stuff' shoved in the dark recess of the corner lower cabinet. it's a slow process for me as I 'may use that or may need it soon' but I've found if I get my children involved -they are quick to toss and 'we don't need this or that' only once has ds (12) asked to keep something I had set out for them- a folding steamer/strainer from his great grandma. so it's setting in the cabinet.
    start with one room spend a few minutes making a gameplan- I love lists so I sometimes used this method: I walked through and pretended I was going to buy the apt- I made lists of things that needed to go: (lots of papers, mismatched-thrift store items). a time or two I used the camera on the phone to take snaps of areas and once I saw them broken down into sections it made it easier to have a starting point and the sense of accoplishment when I took an after pic was awesome.
    since you share a home is it possible for you to have a family meeting and get everyone on board with decluttering your home. ask your mom to go with you room to room and pick out what she wants to get rid of (if nothing) then gently suggest that you take over that aspect since she may be inclined to pass it off to you and your dd. if it belongs to you then if you don't love it get rid of it-give away, donate, sell, trash.
    and wow doesn't that sound easy and I know it's not there are memories and feelings attached to the things.
    in the last three months:
    I gave my dnephew a refrigerator*the apt furishes a small one, my db took the bowflex that was sitting in my l/r (he's got it until I want it back- much to dh's dismay I didn't sell it to him- he saw money I saw my db needing it to help jumpstart his weightloss. dh didn't buy the bowflex I did so he can get over himself- sorry sore subject at the moment).
    we got rid of the area rugs throughout the house (ds's room, dd's room and l/r), I took $350 worth of books to the used book store.
    every day i find things that I know I'll never use so it's easy to let them go.

    oh bad storm approaching will add more later- i'm outta here!!

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    Declutter declutter. That is the buzz word. Only if you throw away the unnecessary stuff will you be able to organise your home. Once you declutter you will be really surprised to see how much space you have in your home.

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    please don't throw stuff that doesn't belong to you.

    in my neighborhood, it is customary to put stuff you don't want on the curb. it will be gone in half an hour. i consider that "recycling" and it makes my heart hurt less to know a neighbor is now using the widget. i tend to get emotionally attached to stuff. also my need to get rid of it NOW instead of going through the hassle of doing a yard sale or carrying the stuff to a charity shop-- because i know the boxes will decorate my front step or car for weeks until i actually get to the charity shop, and i don't have time to organize a yard sale.

    flylady makes me crazy. i think it is designed for stay at home people.

    i find watching hoarders, sell this house, and house hunters helpful in making the decisions to get rid of stuff.

    since there are duplicates of everything, how about selling the good stuff and putting the money in a special account in case you need it later? you won't. or a storage unit.
    baby step 2- see blog for actual amounts

    "stop being a victim, you are a perpetrator, taking things without paying for them is stealing, you are not a victim, you are a perpetrator. PAY THE PEOPLE YOU OWE, pray for the people you owe, and make it right. " hard nosed AA person, thumping his big book, addressed to me in AA meeting 7/30/2013

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    It helps to calculate how much you will really need: 4 people x 2 glasses each per day = 8 glasses. Get rid of the rest. Just beware that you will break at least 1 glass in the week after purging :-) That always seems to happen.

    Same for clothes: how many trousers/shirts/skirts do you really need for work, for school, for dirty jobs?
    Do you really need and use all the kitchen gadgets? For instance, I don't have a kitchen machine, because just the thought of cleaning it, keeps me from using it. I have a few good knives which take up no space at all.

    Do you recycle? And does it get picked up / do you take it to the recycle centre regularly? As soon as the box or bag is full, take it out of your house. It will give you great momentum.

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