How do you get the family to help out with the chores?

[Rachel Barratt]

How do you get the family to help out with the chores? They all think because I stay at home and look after the baby I have all the time in the world to do the chores. I have a husband and 3 daughters aged 11, 9 and 10 months.

[bamamomto4]

I do almost everything. Except trash and dishes.....Steve does trash and Ashley does the dishes. The kids do have to clean their rooms. They are 16,7,4, and 2.....The 3 little ones do a half way job and I'll do any major cleaning,sometimes Ashley will help them. But,they are learning

Everyone will help if I ask,but I just do it mostly by myself.That way it gets done MY WAY

[Darlene]

Being part of a family means you do things together for the common good, one of those things is helping around the house.
These sites have all kinds of ideas for you.

http://officialcitysites.org/article...=5&MEMBERID=10
http://iparentingcanada.com/resource.../cleanroom.htm
http://www.dentalplans.com/Dental-He...-the-House.asp

Advice for hubby help~

http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmprob...v%7Chf%7Cclean

http://www.queendom.com/chaiselongue/love/q14.html

[mom22grls]

Ashleigh has a list of weekly things she must do........
Pick up, Dust & Vac the family room
Dust & sweep the laundry room
Take trash to curb
Clean out cars
Her bathroom
Her bedroom
Dishes nightly.
If she does all of these, she gets paid 12.50 a week....works out to $50 a month. She does a pretty good job usually. She misses dishes alot because of the fact that she's gone alot at activities. We allot the money for the dishes on a case-by-case basis.

Mike helps pick up at night after Miss K goes to bed. He also takes out the trash, mows & scoops snow. He'll help with just about anything else if I nag him.

I do the rest. Bathroom, 2 bedrooms, office room, cooking, living room, Kitchen, mending, errands, etc. I do all the laundry, but I don't hang or put away Ashleigh's stuff. If I ask either one to change the laundry for me, they will. Ashleigh likes to claim incompetence, though.

Miss K "helps" put dishes away. Throws various garbage items in the trash, "folds" washclothes, and generally makes a mess. She's got a couple of drawers in the kitchen that house tupperware, lids, and her sippy cups...I have her put those things away.

Other than that, we all just try to pick up after ourselves.

I think it depends on the kid.....if money motivates them, well that's what it takes. Others, taking away priveleges works, still others just don't mind helping. Taylor will clean Miss K's room for me without even asking.

 

eta....I also make Ashleigh play with or watch Kennedy while I cook supper or just get a break for a half hour or so.  She has never "babysitted" her while we leave.........(Oh a date nite would be good!!!!!!  ), but on occasion, I'll put Miss K down for a nap & leave her with Ashleigh while I run to the store.  So, I don't see anything wrong with the older kids helping with the baby.  It's either play with Kennedy or COOK SUPPER!!!    She'll never cook supper! 

[kettel6]

I don't know...when you figure it out let me know.

[canadian gardener]

I like Bonnie R. McCulloughs book here is a link and the blurb at Amazon

I have it and love it. I bought it rather late in the game with mine, but mine were used to doing chores from early on. I used ideas to help get them to do their homeschool work.

Chores are part of life. Nobody gets a free ride after age 2 or 3. Even at that age, they should be taught that being a participating member of the family group means doing things to benefit all.

They will have higher self esteem as they grow up, feeling more in control, less like a helpless kid. They will take pride in the things they accomplish.

The worst thing beyond not loving your kids, is to teach them that life is a free ride.

People wonder why kids never want to grow up and leave home nowadays, and part of it is the shock of finding out that grownups have responsibility. Far easier to retreat back into the womb like comfort of letting mum do it all.

Unfortunately mum grows old and dies eventually leaving the helpless adult unable to function properly.

Now that is a worst case scenario, most kids pick up some work habits at school even if they were taught not to work at home, but it's a rough learning process.

if you love them, teach them how life functions. We get self esteem not thru self esteem classes but by feeling like a functioning productive member of society, starting with our own mini society, within the home.

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312301472/qid=1130435347/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-8606407-4206226?v=glance&s=books"]Amazon.com: 401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home: Household tested and proven effective! Techniques, tips, tricks, and strategies on how to get your kids to share ... become self-reliant, responsible adults (9780312301477): Bonnie Runyan McCullough, Susan Walker Monson: Books[/ame]

401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home : Household tested and proven effective! Techniques, tips, tricks, and strategies on how to get your kids to ... become self-reliant, responsible adults

Book Description

401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home is an essential book for busy parents who would like to get their kids to share the housework and who would like a systematic program to ensure that their kids know all the basic living skills by the time they leave home at age eighteen. Among the topics it covers are:

-How (and when) to assign and teach specific jobs
-How to give positive feedback, incentives, rewards (or punishment)
-How to teach your child to organize his or her bedroom
-How to teach time and money and basic household skills; handing personal hygiene and clothing needs, cooking, nutrition, and shopping skills; exploring and planning a career
-Plus over 400 specific incentive/reward ideas (like charging a nickel for every sock Mom has to pick up)
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Whether your kids are toddlers or teenagers, you'll find immediately help and direction in Bonnie and Sue's enthusiastic, supportive advice.

[bamamomto4]

Originally posted by mom22grls


 Ashleigh likes to claim incompetence, though.  


  

 

My bunch seems to do that to sometimes. Steve,who has never ever cleaned the bathroom,says he "doesn't know how"

He can tear down any kind of motor and put it back together,build anything, but he can't clean the toilets

 

Steve also does the outside work.I'll help...sometimes.

[forestdale]

Rachel, I don't know your family at all but I know this with certainty. No child will volunteer to do any housework unless they get something out of it.

My kids are grown now so I have the benefit of hindsight with all this, but watching them and their friends grow, I saw that the kids who had to do chores at home were the ones who grew up with confidence and self esteem.

The key is to delegate. When my sons were 3 and 4 I worked out what they were capable of and I gave them those jobs. They started off making their own breakfast (cereal and milk) and picking up their toys everyday after they finished playing. They progressed to taking out the trashbag and feeding the chickens on top of their other chores. When they were about 9 and 10 they were feeding the animals, they took it in turns to unpack the dishwasher and they had to make their beds everyday, keep their toys in check and their rooms clean. At each stage when I added a new job, I took the time to give them a full run down of how I expected the new job to be carried out.

I gave them pocket money, about $5 a week, and if the chores had been done properly and without whining, they got a monthly bonus. This was usually a movie of their choice at the cinema.

I think that starting them so young, they just grew into it and never really protested about it. They both told me after they'd gone to boarding school when they were 12, that doing those chores made it easier for them when they went to school. The kids who didn't have to do chores at home rebelled when they were told what to do at school and got into a lot of trouble.

My kids sometimes offered to do extra chores to get things they wanted, like toys or having their friends stay over. So it taught them negotiating skills too.

So work out what you think your kids can do and have a family meeting to tell everyone the new rules. Do it in a matter of fact manner, don't make it like a punishment or that they are doing it to help you. Show them that it's just how life is - that all through their lives they need to be responsible, clean and tidy and contribute to the welfare of their family.

and good luck.

[bamamomto4]

I agree with Rhonda in just delegate! Take something they like away (tv,video game etc) till they complete the task.

I think my first post came off as my kids never do anything.Where,I do most of the deep cleaning,they do help in picking up etc....you make the mess,you clean it up.


Ashley will be upset come this weekend when she's grounded. School here was out Tuesday and I told her Monday night,and again Tuesday I wanted her bathrrom clean (now I never clean her bathroom) she has yet to clean it! Soooo she's grounded!


Also Ashley does babysit. The longest she has watched the younger ones is prob 5 hours. I hope I dont get flamed for saying that. She is good when it comes to watching them,and I think they mind her better when we're gone LOL and of course we call a dozen times while we're gone.I also let me neighbor know we'll be gone and Ashley is there with the kids etc...

She likes planning things for them to do.Watching movies and making popcorn,playing games,and lately she's been helping Katie a lot with school type work. Which also helps Jackson and Jayme because they wanna do it to lol

Ok--just rambling!