Decluttering Depression

**daddys3chicks** · 11-16-2005, 08:00 AM

I am finding myself getting frustrated while trying to declutter. It seems hopeless! I know FlyLady says it didn't get that way in one day and it won't get undone it one day. But I wonder if I will EVER get done!

I can't really clean like I want to because I spend all my time picking up junk. I have been trying to go through a few things a day. I can't do much more than that or my back starts to hurt.

My first order was to try and purge clothes so I didn't have these massive amounts of laundry. I got Amanda's things switched to winter and purged. I guess that is something huh? Maybe I need to make Katie's stuff my goal for today, and mine for tomorrow.

The problem is no one else picks up - no matter how much I cry, whine, cajole and go on strike. I suppose I will just have to suck it up and live with the ambient clutter and mess until I can slowly get a handle on it all.

Any words of wisdom?

**bee9984** · 11-16-2005, 09:06 AM

No words of wisdom, I did purge my bedroom 1 1/2 years ago and it too me hours , I had about 5 garbage bags of clothes which if I didn't throw out I sent to the church. I was sore and lame for 3 days after and made a promise to myself that I would never put myself through that again and I havn't

ever since it only takes me a few minutes to make my bed and tidy up.

I need to focus more on the rest of the house, it truly is overwhelming

.

For you to get your dd's clothes switched to her winter clothes and purge her other clothes etc.....well that is just outstanding, that is a huge accomplishment

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I cringe at the idea of having to go through the kitchen....but I am going to do it one cupboard at a time .

Keep updating on your progress as I would love to know how you are doing

Hugs,
Heather

**mom22grls** · 11-16-2005, 09:33 AM

I don't know about that "it didn't get that way in one day"! LOL! She's never been to my house!

LOL!

Cheryl, it took me a couple of *years* to get thru the whole house to de-clutter.

Now I focus on one thing at a time. I start at the back of the house (my bedroom) and focus one *one* drawer. When that's done, I do another....then eventually you've gone thru the whole room...nightstand & all. Then move to the next room.

I've got a spreadsheet that I made for my "room-rescue" so I can mark the date I last did a thing & go down the list.

If you PM me your e-mail, I'll send you mine if you want to look at it.

All I can say is don't try to do too much. It's not worth it if you feel yucky about it.

Oh, and I do the regular housework *first* everyday, and then during a nap for Miss K, I'll tackle the project for the day.

If I don't get to it....so what!!?? At least the toilet's clean.

FlyLady has got s good idea about the hot spots.

Keep those picked up & things go more smoothly. I've come to eliminate most hot spots & I do quick sweeps thru the house in the am & before bed.

My problem is making Miss K pick up her toys.

**daddys3chicks** · 11-16-2005, 09:38 AM

Thanks - Jamee. I try to keep the hotspots picked up but DH is such a paper hound! Ugh - receipts, business cards....I started putting his stuff in a pile but he never goes through it. I think I'll date it and tell him if it's not purged by then it all goes! LOL!

**Early Bird** · 11-16-2005, 10:16 AM

Jamee, could you give the rest of us some details from your spreadsheet? It doesn't have to be the whole thing; just enough to copycat you!

And I really like your idea about the 'regular' housework first! In fact, I'm off to read some testimonials right now. Then I'm going to swish and swipe the toilets!

**mom22grls** · 11-16-2005, 10:26 AM

Here's a copy of it.

If anyone wants the actual file, just PM me your e-mail addy & I'll send it.

I print this out & mark in the spaces the date I've got it done.

**mom22grls** · 11-16-2005, 10:30 AM

what the heck??? It's never done that before. I don't know what I did.

**Englishlady** · 11-16-2005, 12:11 PM

Cheryl,

I recently read a book about being organized, written by ( I think) a coupld of Germans, I didn't really relate to a lot of the stuff as it was aimed at people who were out working and such.

However, the one GREAT idea I took from it, was the "30 Second Rule" if a job/chore can be done in 30 seconds ( or less)then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It works amazingly well as it means coats are hung up, shoes are put away, papers& ,magazines are stacked neatly and unless you are bathing or showereing in motor oil, then the shower/and or bath will be wiped down and clean

HTH?

**AmyBoz** · 11-16-2005, 12:28 PM

Sounds like you've gotten some great advice here, so far. I think your idea about tackling Katie's stuff today and your own tomorrow is a good one. Small goals...baby steps...one thing at a time and it will get done. One thing/room/item per day is all you need.

With regards to you being the only one picking up, that needs to change. Particularly with your girls. With regards to toy clutter, etc., in our house, you cannot move from one activity to the other before cleaning up what you were just playing with. If Julia is playing Barbie's and wants to watch a video, the Barbie's must be cleaned up first. There is no negotiation. Sometimes if Julia and Patrick have been playing in the playroom for part of the day and everything is just out and messy, we stop what we're doing, choose what we're going to play with and everything else gets picked up before we can resume with play. If there's grumping about it, then no play at all. Rules are the rules and they are there so that one of us (me) doesn't get stuck with all the work. They are their toys, they should be responsible for it. Eventually it becomes routine for them.

With regards to clothes, sounds like everyone has enough, so at least you won't be buying more to bring into the mess! At bedtime (or bathtime) your clothes come off and go right into the laundry/closet/wherever you keep dirty clothes. No clothes should be left laying around your room. This in and of itself should reduce clothing problems.

Dh's are a different story. Don't know what to tell you there!

**homesteadmamma** · 11-16-2005, 12:46 PM

I agree with everything Amy said.

Two things vitally important to decluttering. One, your family helps. Your girls are old enough to clean up their own mess, to put away their clothes and learn to begin to be responsible for what they own. When it comes to your dh, he needs to help too.

Two - the more you bring into your home, the more clutter. Our rule of thumb, when something comes in, something goes out. Also look at how many clothes you have or the kids have. Then realistically, look at how many (especially the kids) they need. It's surprising how many clothes kids have and seldom use. They need a couple sweaters, a few tops and pants/jeans and a few pairs of pj's. They need 7 pairs of socks and underwear (enough for each day of the week). And a couple good outfits for church. I found it a lot easier to go through the kid's clothes each new season. Once I did that, out went what they didn't wear, no longer fit or wouldn't be used the next season.

I found with less clothes, the kids quickly become more responsible for putting them into the dirty laundry when they come off. If they don't, they've learnt mom isn't picking up after them and they won't have clean clothes. My kids are also responsible for folding their own clothes and putting them away. Like Amy, there is no negotiating when it comes to this, otherwise I don't do their laundry.

Decluttering really is an art. Start small and with one room and one area in the room. I found starting in the closet the best place to start then worked myself slowly out of the room.