So Frustrating

**AmyBoz** · 02-17-2006, 03:13 PM

I love my dh...I really do. He is a wonderful husband, a fabulous father, and just an all-around excellent man.

However, he's been frustrating me a LOT in the bedroom. (Get those minds out of the gutter!) I've been working really hard to declutter and clean our bedroom, and he has a habit that he seems to be unwilling to break. At night, when he takes off his clothes, he puts them on the floor next ot his side of the bed. The closet, where the laundry basket is, is literally 4 steps away. Still, he just drops them next to the bed. Sometimes he says it's because they aren't really dirty and he's going to wear them again, and despite my pleas to please put them away then, they continue to stay on the floor.

At this point, I'm tired of being naggy, but I don't know what to do. Do you have any sort of suggestions for ways to make a compromise? We used to have a reading chair in our bedroom, but that became the repository for his clothes, so I took it out of the bedroom.

I'd appreciate your thoughts!

**Michelle** · 02-17-2006, 03:16 PM

LOL I'd love to hear them too. My dh does the same thing and says it's because he always leaves his belt on the pants and keys & wallet in the pockets so he'll always know where they are.

He *could* throw them in the hamper once he's gotten dressed in the morning, but then that would make too much sense, right?

**FrugalMomof3** · 02-17-2006, 03:17 PM

Amy,

I dont have any suggestions BUT my hubby does the same thing, while the basket is so close by.

the only thing I do is... look at him and say ut ummm can you put them where they belong... sometimes he picks them up sometimes he doesn't, I agree it is very fustrating.

**Dixie** · 02-17-2006, 03:20 PM

My dh does exactly the same thing (wallet in his pocket, belt still in the loops, too). He's been doing this for the past almost 30 years we've been married. Maybe you can't teach an ol' dog new tricks.

Maybe the men are afraid of a fire and this way, they'll have they're clothes nearby?
Wish I had advice, Amy, but as you can see, I have none to offer.

**leeleeaub** · 02-17-2006, 03:33 PM

Guess what? I can't help either my husband takes off his clothes and leaves them on the floor or folds them and lays them on a shelf and says he is going to wear them again. He never wears them again. He also leaves the top off his shaving gel, leaves qtips by the sink, leaves his towel and washcloth in the floor. I don't say anything I just continue to pick up behind him and am sure I always will

**canadian gardener** · 02-17-2006, 03:41 PM

I do have a suggestion. I remember reading about it, and thinking, smart lady! James Dobson's focus on the family I think it was.

The young newly married wife was seeing the socks, and the undershirts etc, dropped right where they landed as her dh climbed into bed.

They both worked, but somehow it was "her" responsibility to pick up and keep clean.

So she decided a little lesson was in order.

She kicked his socks under the bed, and any other stuff not either hung up or put in the laundry.

She continued for about a week.

He became puzzled. She did the laundry regularly but his sock drawer and shirt hangers never filled up!

Finally he was on his last sock, or shirt.

He got QUITE ANNOYED and asked her.

She kept her cool and calmly replied that she did all the laundry that WAS IN THE BASKETS but in order to keep the room neat and tidy she kicked anything out of the way that was out in view,

UNDER THE BED

which was where the sheepish young man found his "stash".

Apparently after that he was a model husband, and even DID the laundry some of the time.

**canadian gardener** · 02-17-2006, 03:43 PM

oh btw I do not and never did have that problem with dh, and I sure as ummmmmm SUNSHINE, yep sunshine, sure as SUNSHINE wouldn't put up with it.

HTH

**AmyBoz** · 02-17-2006, 03:46 PM

Interesting idea, Margery! I may have to try the kicking under the bed idea!

**Dixie** · 02-17-2006, 03:51 PM

I love that solution, Margery.

**baxjul** · 02-17-2006, 04:02 PM

Mine leaves them on the floor right next to the basket! Literally touching it!

**leeleeaub** · 02-17-2006, 04:21 PM

This idea may be good for some but my husband would become irrate and I cannot stand to make him upset so I think I will just continue to do what I have been doing.

**KimSecret** · 02-17-2006, 04:25 PM

My Dh did this also. I stopped picking them up and washing them.when he had no clean clothes, he started picking them up, but he has started doing it again here lately

Like Dixie said, "Maybe you can't teach old dogs new tricks."

**pammy** · 02-17-2006, 04:45 PM

I have one of them hubby's, too. After maybe 6 months of marriage I put my foot down, wasn't doing his laundry anymore. He was okay with it. I was getting too upset finding rolled up socks coming out of the dryer, or belts or keys or change. So he was doing his own laundry up until a few months ago. He never really did kick the habit of throwing his clothes wherever he wanted.

A few months ago I got the 'brilliant' idea to start doing his laundry, as I'm not working anymore. Even bought one of those fancy clothes sorters and put it in the closet and we made a deal that when the sorter got full I would do a load of laundry. As of today, there is a pile right by the door, a pile in another laundry basket, and another pile sitting on his shoes, ugh!! So I've decided, since the sorter isn't full I'M NOT DOING THEM! He's almost out of work clothes, hehe. Almost like 'under the bed'. If this don't work I will try the under-the-bed!! Thanks for that post Margery!!

**freedeal** · 02-17-2006, 04:52 PM

Move the hamper to the location where he places his clothes. It may be "out of place" but he should get the idea pretty quickly.

BTW - my DH is the neat one here so I don't have that problem.

**PrairieRose** · 02-17-2006, 04:53 PM

Originally posted by canadian gardener
I do have a suggestion. I remember reading about it, and thinking, smart lady! James Dobson's focus on the family I think it was.

The young newly married wife was seeing the socks, and the undershirts etc, dropped right where they landed as her dh climbed into bed.

They both worked, but somehow it was "her" responsibility to pick up and keep clean.

So she decided a little lesson was in order.

She kicked his socks under the bed, and any other stuff not either hung up or put in the laundry.

She continued for about a week.

He became puzzled. She did the laundry regularly but his sock drawer and shirt hangers never filled up!

Finally he was on his last sock, or shirt.

He got QUITE ANNOYED and asked her.

She kept her cool and calmly replied that she did all the laundry that WAS IN THE BASKETS but in order to keep the room neat and tidy she kicked anything out of the way that was out in view,

UNDER THE BED

which was where the sheepish young man found his "stash".

Apparently after that he was a model husband, and even DID the laundry some of the time.

Amy, I actually did this and guess what? He got furious at having no clean underclothes and socks and jeans but it didn't cure a thing. I let it pile up until there was literally a mountain of clothes at the foot of the bed. It's like Gripey NEVER even noticed that he was piling clothes on top of clothes.

But after the fight, I washed them all up and now after 29.5 years of it, I'm still picking up his clothes most mornings. I finally just decided that as vices go this one isn't so bad. Good luck with your um, little problem.