Latest favourite jokes, some of which are original

**Crunchy** · 01-27-2004, 04:24 AM

Q. What lies on the ground, one hundred feet in the air?

A. A dead centipede.

As my Grandfather used to say, "Even if that was good, I wouldn't like it."

Two rockmelons decide to get hitched. The families both get together and warn their children that they have histories of very formal, very large weddings. Or, as one Father Rockmelon said to his daughter, "After all, you just canteloupe."

Boom, boom.

And in a similar vein:

Did you know that the first person to start up a mango plantation in Australia was actually a woman?

She figured, where woman goes, mangoes.

What is the most blessed vegetable?

Lettuce. Because every time the farmer goes past, lettuce sprays.

Haven't finished yet, you haven't groan enough.

What's plastic and climbs church steeples? The lunch-wrap of Notre Dame.

We have packages of bandages here that state "Guaranteed sterile unless opened or damaged." How do you check that the bandages are sterile?

Well, you're free to go to the bathroom now and truly express your opinion on what is loosely called my sense of humour.