The Hormone Hostage

**KKCondrey** · 10-20-2004, 10:05 PM

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!! It is also color coded for those men who need an easy reference:
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about... My friend's significant other, not happy with her mood swings, bought her a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor her moods. When she is in a good mood, it turns green. When she is in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy her diamonds.

BTW: Here have some chocolate.

**kimmee** · 10-20-2004, 10:14 PM

I printed this off for Bruce to read and he said that the funniest thing was that at the very end of your post on the baby ticker it says 120 days left and he said it should say 18 years and 4 months left! What a poop!!

**KKCondrey** · 10-20-2004, 10:19 PM

I guess that would be more accurate wouldn't it....I wonder if there is a ticker for....Time Until Empty Nest Syndrom sets in...lol

**Dixie** · 10-20-2004, 10:23 PM

ROFL, I'm going to print this,too. Thanks for the laugh, Kat.

**frugalmel** · 10-20-2004, 10:24 PM

LOL Thats good! I copied that and emailed it to dh. I hope he reads it at work and shares with the other guys.... Their wives will thank me

**kimmee** · 10-20-2004, 10:27 PM

I hope you realized that I thought it was funny and Bruce did too - he was just trying to be a smart a - my ultra safe response - here, honey, have an enema!