Washington Mensa

**Julia Kimber** · 08-28-2005, 08:58 AM

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing
one letter, and supplying a new definition.
Here are some winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you
realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a spam! It is better fried than typedspam! It is better fried than typedspam! It is better fried than typedspam! It is better fried than typedspam! It is better fried than typedspam! It is better fried than typedspam! It is better fried than typedspam! It is better fried than typedspam! It is better fried than typed.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign
of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person
who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

10. Hipatitis: terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming
only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they
come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the
fruit you're eating.