A Woman's Guide To Understanding Men

**Julia Kimber** · 01-15-2006, 07:02 AM

1. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These
men usually have jobs and bathe.

2. All men hate to hear, "We need to talk about our relation-
ship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even
retired General Schwartzkopf.

3. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel
important.

4. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

5. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is
usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches
from the door.

6. Men forget everything; women remember everything. Think
about it! How many women's sports use something called an
"instant replay?"

7. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying
with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they
grow up identifying with Barbie.

8. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on
record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

9. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've
never seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh no, I'm so
embarrassed; I've got to get out of here. There's another
man wearing a black tuxedo."

10. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your
heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a
man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.