Funny Police comments caught on tape

**KKCondrey** · 06-08-2007, 03:03 PM

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country:

#15 "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "you didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. .. Sign here.

**Missy** · 06-08-2007, 03:12 PM

funny. i like 11 &3

**kittykatstrong** · 06-09-2007, 09:03 AM

#2 was funny
#1 Was funny but I would be mad as heck if he said that to me.

KAty

**miss_thrifty** · 06-09-2007, 03:29 PM

OMG!!!! too funny.

**JerryG** · 06-10-2007, 12:39 PM

I've had an officer say #11 to me once!!

**AmyMCGS** · 06-10-2007, 02:06 PM

My cop husband has used that line about being the shift supervisor before.

**earthmamaof2** · 06-30-2007, 04:01 PM

Having my degree in Law enforcement... really helped me with a lot of ppl I know that would say these things... these are great. Thank you for sharing