A legal "heads up" for your financial planning.

**frugalfranny** · 02-03-2012, 05:43 PM

As most of you might know my father died in early fall and I have been dealing with the estate since, as executor.

Give very careful consideration on not only the type of Power of Atty. you set up but who you give the power to, especially if you have multiple children.

There are various types of POA's--check them out CAREFULLY and see what sort of power they give the person chosen.

I finally got the estate "opened" in December (meaning I got the legal letter needed to proceed) only to find out that my sister had a durable POA and changed the heirs on some IRA's...........she had full control.

PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR POA CAREFULLY!!! You never know what sort of hard feelings, jealousy, or ??? is lurking!!!

**annymoll** · 02-03-2012, 06:05 PM

You can have a trust. The terms of a will are public knowledge, and the terms of the trust are not.It helps to centralize assets and eliminates much of this type of bickering.I may fully intend that my POA could change the heirs as they see fit........

**brennasmom** · 02-03-2012, 07:20 PM

Oh wow. Sounds sneeky.

Having been thru the situation with my Dad's death I honestly think it is best to not choose any of your children as the executor. Actually someone not in the immediate family would be best.

**josantoro** · 02-03-2012, 07:43 PM

it is amazing what kind of bad feelings can come out when a death in the family occurs. I had a relative who had a will, no kids, just nieces and nephews, divided all his financial assets VERY precisely among them. Left his car to one niece (who he lived with) and the contents of his very small apt. to another.
wouldn't you know people had to find SOMETHING to argue about and argued over the contents of the apt. Geesh.

**lisaflex** · 02-03-2012, 08:19 PM

we personally have a trust in place.

my mom just passed a few mths back and she did not and the whole thing is a huge debacle....trusts eliminate alot of "issues"

sorry you are going thru this.

due to what my mom did NOT have in place, my sister flew in frm OOT and sold the whole house's belongings and kept the proceeds...now, i personally dont care, but on principal this is wrong and unfair. if i speak up, she has to ante up to the estate. but i wont;

and, to boot, the executor is an older relative who does not want to be doing and dealing w/ everything (and, they have no children so dont understant alot)...so the original poster is correct....be careful who you put in place....it is a big deal when you are gone.

**frugalfranny** · 02-04-2012, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by brennasmom;1613099
Having been thru the situation with my Dad's death I honestly think it is best to not choose [I

any[/I] of your children as the executor. Actually someone not in the immediate family would be best.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

But often someone (person type) not in the family might not want to do it.......could have an attorney or other 'entity' do it but it costs more.

Friend got caught in the above scenario..........with step-kids, birth kids, etc. Took her over four years to settle the thing....she charged the estate but said she wouldn't do another for ANY KIND OF MONEY!!

As for the POA changing anything that I set up........no, I wouldn't want that.

I will be re-doing mine and being very careful with it, not only for tax purposes but for who will have the "power"........have learned a lot during this 'journey'.........not all good.

And yes, agree with the trust thing..............but that isn't what my dad did.........so you deal with it.

**Libby** · 02-04-2012, 05:44 PM

I am afraid to see the pay per view event that will occur here when its dad's time to leave this earth. Everyone has their hands out now - imagine the brawl to come?!

**annymoll** · 02-04-2012, 06:02 PM

I think we may have to revise our estate and add a clause that if there are any legal family disputes over it, the entire estate will go to charity.People act like ravenous animals when parents die.The thievery, cheating, plotting, conniving,jealousy, greed and finger pointing. It's so sad..Really gives you something to consider.

**Libby** · 02-04-2012, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by annymoll

People act like ravenous animals when parents die.Sad.

Very well said. Thank you.

**lisaflex** · 02-04-2012, 10:11 PM

its about legacy and nothing more....if you want to leave all to charity, go for it...we feel strongly for many and donate regulary and some are listed in our estate actually....it is also about principal...so do it now while in sound body and mind...dont let the heirs and the courts decide...best to pay up and do it now...jmho

**frugalfranny** · 02-07-2012, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by annymoll

I think we may have to revise our estate and add a clause that if there are any legal family disputes over it, the entire estate will go to charity

But before you do that BE SURE to read or check with an attorney to see if even THAT would stand up in court.

One book I was reading 'during this journey' said that people that put that clause about "kids fighting" in their will are just wasting their time as the courts won't honor it if a 'true, legal issue' comes up.

The Nolo Law books at your local library are VERY well written and easy to read...........check to see if your library has them. You don't have to be an attorney to understand them.

I found the one about being an Executor much more informative than the one about wills or setting up your estate. At the back of each book they will give some laws for the states......."at the time of printing"......well worth the read.

**annymoll** · 02-07-2012, 07:43 PM

Originally Posted by frugalfranny

But before you do that BE SURE to read or check with an attorney to see if even THAT would stand up in court.

One book I was reading 'during this journey' said that people that put that clause about "kids fighting" in their will are just wasting their time as the courts won't honor it if a 'true, legal issue' comes up.

The Nolo Law books at your local library are VERY well written and easy to read...........check to see if your library has them. You don't have to be an attorney to understand them.

I found the one about being an Executor much more informative than the one about wills or setting up your estate. At the back of each book they will give some laws for the states......."at the time of printing"......well worth the read.

My father was an attorney for nearly 30 years. I think he would agree with you.It is important to have a representative that will follow your wishes, or you may get a surprise.His entire goal was to leave my brother out in the cold, and in the process, to continue a family feud.He chose the child that he groomed and molded most in his own image as the administrator of his estate.I chose to mend the fences using his money, and to manipulate his estate as best I could for healing and to bring peace within our family, so he dearly misjudged .As a Christian I figured if he was in heaven he would forgive me, and if he was in hell he was getting a fitting punishment. I agree with you. Choose and plan wisely!!!!!

**pinecone** · 02-08-2012, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by frugalfranny

One book I was reading 'during this journey' .....

Do you remember the names of any of the books? One book I was going to suggest [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Who-Gets-Grandmas-Yellow-Plate/dp/1888440082"]Amazon.com: Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate? (9781888440089): Marlene S. Stum: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51W4PHV31ZL.@@AMEPARAM@@51W4PHV31ZL[/ame] Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate seems to be out of print. It is a good read before setting up an estate plan. It is easy to divide money but when there is only one _____ who gets it??

I am truly sorry that greed has risen its evil head.

piney

**frugalfranny** · 02-09-2012, 02:50 PM

That looks like an interesting read Pcone.........will check to see if my library has it..........sometimes they keep them in the basement and will pull them 'as called for'.........I hope!!

Here is the Nolo website..........and they are EXPENSIVE so I would check with your library.

Wills, Trusts & Estates - Law Books, Legal Forms & Software - Nolo

I read........'The Executors's Guide' (twice).....'Plan your Estate'---a good read......'8 ways to Avoid Probate'--was okay but the other two are better..........

course a lawyer could be needed but these will help you COMMUNICATE better with an attorney and you will have a better idea on what to do......and what could be the cheaper way to go.........which the atty. might not tell you.