Starting From Scratch Tips?

**gwynyvyr** · 06-16-2005, 02:33 AM

Okay, I am starting all over at the age of...sigh...48.

I am moving into a homeless shelter on the 29th. The shelter will give me 30 to 90 days to get a job and save up enough money for an apt of my own.
I can get a studio apt for as low as 325 a month and that includes all utilities except phone and cable.
OR, I can rent a 4 bedroom, 2 bath home in the same area for 400-500 a month, NO utilities included and rent out rooms. (I figure if I do that and provide one meal a day, I will charge a flat 250 a month per person that I rent the room to. I am a VERY good AND frugal cook)
With the studio, I will have to use the laundrymat, but with the house, I will be able to have a washer-dryer of my own. The shelter will help me with furniture, appliances, etc. One of my best friends is the manager of the shelter...yup, she's an angel

in my book!

I am a fairly decent seamstress, I make loads of craft items and Ren Faire clothes. I will NOT be able to take my old, broke down *&%^$^%#@ sewing machine with me, so I will be saving for a decent used one if the shelter hasn't had one donated. (They usually have three or four in the storage room to give out, though)

I will probably *fingers crossed* be able to get a job in the locality within a week, two max. I have experience as an emergency (911) operator, a telemarketer, retail clerk and I have run my own janitorial business in the past. Have also worked as a dog groomer, vet assistant and in various factories and warehouses. I have also worked on dairy, cattle and horse farms. And raised 7 kids.
Jobs in this locality rarely pay more than minumin wage or a little more.

This is the first time in my entire life I have been *on my own*. No husband, no kids, no boyfriend, etc. Not even a cat, lol.

Has anyone else here had to start over from the *very bottom* like this? Any suggestions? Ideas? Warnings?

I do like the idea of working from home the best, but I know I will need a steady paycheck for the first year at least if I am able to swing starting my own business. I like the idea of running a *rooming house* and I know a lot of the pitfalls of that as my great-aunt did it for over 40 years. Of course, she did it when the world was a much different place...

I will greatly appreciate any suggestions anyone here has!

**Englishlady** · 06-16-2005, 03:57 AM

I think it is terrific that you are so upbeat and positive about your new life challange

I am sure that I am not the only one who has sometimes felt like chucking out every bit of our goods and chattles and starting over!

I have not started from such a "ground zero" as you BUT, I did start with VERY, VERY little when I was much younger.

My advice is to start this adventure as if you were reading a good book, savour each bit, lose yourself "in the moment" and don't try to rush on to the next chapter ( in this case of your life

.....)

Jobs: Try and find a job that stimulates and interests you enough to support you through the inevitable "glums" when the first flush of excitement over your new venture starts to wane....

If it is a job you can progress in , great, if it is one that is enough in itself, that's great too.

Home:

I would opt for just looking after *ME* for the time being........once you have found "where you want to be" then maybe you could move on to being a Landlady of sorts?

If you have your own space you can devote your free time and energy to realise your own potential, which after years of being all things to all people can only be good, right?!

Running a "Rooming House" could be fraught with problems, the type of people it may attract may not be the type you would choose to "hang out with".....

You may not have a large pool of people from which to choose, that then puts you in a precarious position with Rent, in as much as you will have more "outgoings" in the form of a higher rent until you find someone you want to rent to........and if THAT took a while, you might find yourself justifying letting a room to any old Tom, Dick & Harry just to pay the bills

So, for me, I would go "solo" and invite friends around for a "pot Luck" or just for coffee.........

If you are good at Crafts you could make some cute things and then host your own little Craft party at home "Coffee & Crafts"

When people see how talented you are then might ask you to make things & maybe commission special items?

Whilst working at your new job.....in your spare time check out all the Craft shows/stores internet sites etc. and find out what is selling, & start making them & show them to your new workmates.

The Studio Apt. would be a good financial move because if the utilities are included then more of your paycheck could be saved and would give you more cash for the future when you have more of an idea what your long term plans are ( things have a habit of unfolding in ways you might not have expected......that is one thing I DO know about!!!)

Given where you are in life right now I would opt to avoid being responsible for anyone other for myself ( in the short to medium term) not even a cat!
Only buy what YOU decide you need ( not what others think you need)
Get a job you can enjoy for the short to medium term, try and make friends with supportive people who like you for what you are, an optomistic, creative person, with guts and determination.......if I were an Employer in the US, I would certainly give you a job!!
I don't know if any of that helps?

But I wish you all the very best and would LOVE to hear how you get on, it really will be your "Big Adventure"

Karen

**gwynyvyr** · 06-16-2005, 06:11 AM

I am thinking the studio is the way to go initially, too...just bouncing ideas around...
The studios will do a month to month lease, so at least I won't be *locked in* to a place if I change my mind.

As for calling it "ground zero"...
YOU AIN'T KIDDING!
I FEEL like I was bombed!

The only expense I KNOW I won't have is for the divorce...I told the #@%$#*& that since he was the one that walked out, HE is paying for ALL of it! (Of course, he'll have to take it out of the money his current g/f needs for drugs...)

Yup, I am rather angry at him still

But, in between fantasy daydreams of him and his g/f getting hit by a rather large truck, I am doing my best to plow through everything to get my life in some semblence of order!

I have a friend that has an internet store and she has offered to help me once I get a decent inventory built up. She will set up my store, do the programming, etc (which I am an IDIOT at) and help me over the bumps in the road. All for a very decent fee. (No, I would NEVER expect her to share her fabulous computer talents for free!)

Thanks for the encouragement! Right now every little good word helps!

**RuthNY** · 06-16-2005, 06:55 AM

I second the "take care of yourself" thing first. I just went thru a divorce and I left everything. I did (and do) have a good job, so I was able to rent an apartment and buy furniture right away.
It's a very hard time. You need to just worry about yourself. It's not a time to get fancy, just SURVIVE for now. Things do get better...they sure did for me. It's hard to believe that right now, but they do. And when they do THEN you can look into the different things you're talking about.

**PrairieRose** · 06-16-2005, 08:56 AM

I totally agree with the "taking care of yourself first" idea. You can always clutter up your life, later on....lol. Hang in there....things are bound to get better.

**jlxian** · 06-16-2005, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by Englishlady

My advice is to start this adventure as if you were reading a good book, savour each bit, lose yourself "in the moment" and don't try to rush on to the next chapter ( in this case of your life .....)

WONDERFUL advice from these ladies -- I especially love the part about starting over your life as though reading a book.......

Your Can-Do and creative attitude is outstanding --- I think you will have few problems that you cannot hurdle or muddle through.

All the best to you in your new life -- I hope once you move you will be able to continue with the FV! I look forward to updates on your progress!

**pip** · 06-16-2005, 01:23 PM

No advice, just wish you the best!

**Jerrie K** · 06-16-2005, 02:49 PM

I can't really add to the good advice of the other ladies either but I too wish you the best and hope that you can stay in touch with the Village.

**gwynyvyr** · 06-17-2005, 05:57 AM

I am getting to where I am going by bus, as I don't have a vehicle.
I am allowed two carry-ons and no more than 100lbs (total combined weight) in the two pieces under the bus.

So...theres my first problem!

I have picked through my sewing patterns and am down to 12 pounds...but kids, it ain't gonna be any less than than. I have taken all my photos out of my old photo albums and got the weight of them down to 15 pounds (I had 7 kids people!). I figure I can carry the photos and patterns in the carry-ons. I have a backpack all that will fit in.
I have given away all my winter clothes except for 2 sweaters, my awesome winter boots ($350 boots I got at a clearance for 50 bucks!) and a all-purpose jacket.

I am down to 20 pounds of essential books. These go with me regardless. I will probably be buried with me!

Now...I have about 100 pounds of clothes and another 50 pounds of various items that are going to range between difficult and inpossible to discard....sigh...

Any suggestions?
I will only have about $200 to start my life over,so a suggestion to ship what little I have isn't really feasible right now. There will be no one here to hang onto my stuff for me here either.

How would you go about winnowing through your stuff if you were down to only hanging on to 100 pounds of possessions? What would your criteria for keeping and discarding be?

Since I have no clue what type of job I will be getting, I have to hang on to appropriate outfits for different work environments, so I am hanging on to 3 suits with 4 jackets for mix-and-match office outfits. Four daytime dresses. One little black dress. 5 pairs of jeans and 10 tops for a more casual work environment (factory, farm, warehouse, etc).

I have a BUNCH more clothes...I just sit and look at the pile feeling *hopeless*...there are so many things I just don't want to give up...I just don't have it in me to be more selective, heh.

My arts and crafts supplies...owie...I don't know what to do there either. I guess I may bite the bullet and give away all of them...except my woodburner.
I was heartless and decided to give up all my kitchen stuff...EXCEPT for my Universal meat grinder (I make my own sausage, etc) and that's too hard to replace (from the early 60s) and it weighs 8 pounds.

Anyway...How would you guys set your criteria?

**RuthNY** · 06-17-2005, 06:57 AM

You could mail some of these things that won't fit or you couldn't carry.
Where are your 7 children? Couldn't they help?

**Michele Annette** · 06-17-2005, 09:02 AM

I'm sorry you are having to start over like this.

You have gotten some great advice already!!

As a suggestion of what to keep and what to do away with, I know 100 lbs. isn't much.

Your friend that has the internet store, can she spare a small space for a few of your important things? Do you have anyone that can hold a few items until you can get them to your new place...such as your books?

Do you live in a cold climate? I hope you didn't give too many of your Winter clothes away. As far as the other clothing you have, just pick out the essentials...clothes for work(seperate from weekend clothes so they don't wear out too quickly, personal items, a few weekend clothes. Clothes that are easy to maintain(not dry cleaned items) but still look nice, neat and presentable. Again, if you have a friend who could hold a few items in the meantime then you could make several trips by bus.

After living out of one suitcase for three months it was easy for me to choose what is important to have and what wasn't as far as clothing. Mix and match your outfits (ie. black/brown/khaki pants, black/brown/Khaki skirts, a variety of colored tops that go with all the bottoms, etc.). They go far in style and variety.

I wish you the best. Keep us updated on how it's going for you!

**Englishlady** · 06-17-2005, 10:48 AM

Is this to the Womens Shelter you already mentioned OR the Studio apt?

The reason I ask is, is there a Shelter where you are NOW, that could take care of your stuff for you until you can come back and retrieve it OR until you can get it sent to you?

If not what about a local church, could THEY hang on to a few things for you?

If you have 7 grown children and think enough of THEM to want to keep the photographs with you SURELY at least one of THEM can help YOU out in this small way at this time?

As for Photographs, If NO ONE would help me then I would have to ask myself WHY I would want to keep photo's of them!
If push came to shove I would take my favourite picture of each child and any other that I desperatly wanted to keep & then be ruthless with the rest.
Maybe I am strange but I think keeping pictures of past people and events that were good & turned out bad is not healthy.

I think photographs should be purged every now and then otherwise it is just a picture version of past emotional baggage, that I am think you would be better off without at the moment.

One last thought, do you have a drivers licence?
What about those firms that get you to deliver a car from one part of the Country to another?

You would get paid AND a free ride for almost ALL you luggage?
Just a thought.........

Good luck I hope you get it sorted out!

Karen

**jlxian** · 06-17-2005, 11:18 AM

Originally posted by Englishlady
One last thought, do you have a drivers licence?
What about those firms that get you to deliver a car from one part of the Country to another?

You would get paid AND a free ride for almost ALL you luggage?
Just a thought.........

Good luck I hope you get it sorted out!

Karen

Oooooo! Good idea!

I hope you are able to either store your remaining things or send them on to your destination. Besides mailing them, you could ship them via bus (freight not passenger). One time I sent a trunk via Greyhound --- it took several weeks to get it, but eventually it got to me. Or maybe your could ship them via UPS or other ground service?

**gwynyvyr** · 06-17-2005, 12:03 PM

Unfortunately, no drivers license

So that option is out.
My kids are all grown and live in another part of the country. Right now, none of them are in a position to help. One is helping his younger brother that is going through a bad patch, one is living paycheck to paycheck hoping he isn't laid off at his job (company is downsizing) with a credit card debt, three are in school and my eldest is handicapped and lives in an assisted living facility. Her brothers and sister help with the expense of that when they can, bless 'em and she also has a small trust from my late father that helps pay for her care.

My, we sound like a bunch of *sad sacks*

The pictures are non-negotiable, sorry.
I love the idea of keeping my wardrobe to complementary colors...hadn't thought of that

I have SEVERAL complementary wardrobes, heh...NOW to settle on just one or two colors...sigh

The climate where I am going to is comparable with where I am currently, so cold winter weather won't really hit until November or December. So I figure the winter clothes are just excess baggage and they weigh so much! I can make my own or shop thrift stores where I am going before I start freezing.

The shelter here will not keep anything for later shipping.(Thanks for the suggestion, though, I called to check) I MAY be able to ship one box on Greyhound, I doubt if my budget will afford more.
My friend with the online store actually lives closer to where I am going than where I am now, heh.
I am thinking YARD SALE next Saturday and Sunday, that may help me afford to ship another box or two by Greyhound.

I will be going straight to the shelter my friend runs...She has arranged for me to be in the room next to her apartment (really a nice arrangement, she has her own apt connected to the women and family section). They can only hold 8 families, 12 women and 25 men at one time, so it is a small facility, but very well run.
Once there, I will have 30 to 90 days to get a job and save up the money to get out.
(The way it is run, if you have no job after 30 days, they figure you are not trying and you have to leave. If you have a job and haven't saved up enough money by 90 days, then they figure you are wasting money and you have to leave. Cruel? Maybe, but very sensible.)

Thanks loads for the suggestions! This is helping me to think and get *my head together*

I think I rummage around in the yard sale section so I can get an idea on how to set one up FAST!
(You guys may have noticed that I am usually on in the wee hours...I work 10pm til 8am at an answering service for doctors, I rent two rooms in the back of the building to live in. The computers I get online with are my work computers. I will miss them when I move!)

**Hollyhandi** · 06-17-2005, 12:31 PM

Do you have anything you can sell to a Pawn Shop to get extra cash?
When you get where your going find a library to come on line.
Good Luck , please keep us updated....