ugh, feeling guilty about not having 1st bday party for DD....

**kellydoeshair** · 05-24-2010, 02:44 PM

okay so DD is 13 mos now
and DH and I are trying to cut back and really not go overboard
we decided NOT to have some big crazy party for her first birthday, since she doesn't even know what a birthday IS yet!
tbh I really feel like 1st bday parties are more about the parents *which is FINE seriously, but I didn't feel the need* than the child
idk my family is still just kind of poo pooing the fact that she didn't have a "real" party as they called it
we DID have my parents over for some homemade pie and sang to her *DH's parents live in NYC*
but we didn't get her any presents *she already has WAYYYYYY to many toys thanks to a large family* which we appreciate but I personally would like her to have fewer "things"
and we asked that if our families REALLY wanted to get her something that in lieu of toys, clothes, or other things she has NO need or desire for that they get her books
and that was also poo poo'd
because it's not as "fun"
am I just being silly?
or lol as my family calls me "debbie downer" ?
I have NO problem throwing a party for a child who is old enough to ENJOY and understand SAID party but for a one year old idk, it just seems like something that was not really needed...

**nuisance26** · 05-24-2010, 02:52 PM

~Nope I agree with you! We didn't do the parties either. I caved and invited family over for cake because I was sick of being nagged about it but I didn't fuss at all. We did get the kids one or two presents because they didn't have very much.
I think you're being very wise!

~

**frugal is fun** · 05-24-2010, 03:10 PM

I also totally agree.

When my son turned one we had the immediate family over for cake. We sang, we had cake, they bought gifts, we took video...whats the problem?

On the other hand our neighbors had litterally 100 people for their son's first birthday. that is INSANE! in my opinion!

**IntlMom** · 05-24-2010, 03:11 PM

smart girl! we didn't do the big parties either - I think I can count my kiddos parties on one hand and NONE of them have been big productions!

(glad to see you back here!)

**nancycg56** · 05-24-2010, 03:14 PM

We just had immediate families over for the first few birthdays ~ really until they went to preschool/grade school and had actual friends, I didn't see the point.

**monkeywrangler71** · 05-24-2010, 03:17 PM

My son had a party on his fifth birthday last year, it was wonderful and sweet and he was so excited because he had never had a party before. I am really happy that we didn't do parties with them when they were too small to understand, because then that first one would not have been such a special occasion. I still smile thinking about the expression on his face that day.

My 4 year old has not had one yet.

**kittykatstrong** · 05-24-2010, 04:11 PM

We have not had a party for our girls( 3 and 5) yet. Next year when DD5 starts school we will have a small party but even then not go to crazy. For npw we just have a few people over and have cake.

**shoiji** · 05-24-2010, 05:31 PM

It still sounds like you had a small "party" for her. Personally I do not understand why people have great big blow outs and even order a special birthday cake. Grew up with a homemade box cake and that always seemed like enough.

Hang in there. In a couple of years you get to join the madness. lol

**Maine Girl** · 05-24-2010, 05:47 PM

i agree you had a nice party for her. This is your family and you can make your own decisions about her birthday parties. I think her first birthday was perfect for her age.

**joyofsix** · 05-24-2010, 06:15 PM

I've got 7 and never had a whoopdeedoo party. Grandparents and cake was it and they all seem fine.

**kellydoeshair** · 05-24-2010, 07:57 PM

thanks ladies!
I feel so much better, seriously
I was starting to feel like a major PARTY POOPER lol
lol I'm sure they will still call me "debbie downer"
DH included lol
he says I always ruin his fun *he's kidding OF COURSE* but yah, sometimes I just get worried that I'm entirely too practical for my own good
although it seems I'm not alone in THIS particular bit of practicality so WOOO HOO!

**mama2James** · 05-24-2010, 08:05 PM

Our son had a big-ish party for his 1st birthday only because we lived out of state an we brought him home to visit for that party, it was the first time some of our family had met him. The second year it was just dh and I and a few presents. We brought him to a local pool to celebrate. For his 3rd b-day we did have a party at the house, but again, we we're just moving back home and many people hadn't seen him in a long time. This year we are not having a party, I'll make a cake and we are taking him to the aquarium. I think parties are nice if there is a special reason to do it, or if the child is old enough to want one. I definitely agree that it's completely ok to not do a party for a one year old. There's nothing wrong with wanting to moderate the amount of "stuff" in a child's life.

**Darlene** · 05-24-2010, 08:21 PM

Go you! Our kids birthdays were always small family affairs and my kids are well adjusted adults, lol. (at least I think they are) We never went the big party route. I think people just like to get together and birthdays are a nice way to do it. How about more parties "just because". That way you all can enjoy without the present thing being first & foremost.

Lots in life to celebrate so make youer own special days and
enjoy!

**mndtrp** · 05-24-2010, 10:03 PM

My mother threw family-only parties. I don't think I've ever had a big party with a bunch of friends over. As long as something happened, whether it was a picnic or favorite meal, I was happy.

**Siebrie** · 05-25-2010, 08:01 AM

In our family the rule is that children can have as many guests as they have years, so a 5-yr old can have 5 guests (excluding close relatives). Children's birthdays are never compulsary, but relatives are welcome.

We did not get dd anything special for her 1st birthday, she has soooo many things already. We are hard pressed to come up with a wish list for her 2nd birthday in 1 month's time.