Stupid things people say..

**Missourimom** · 07-11-2009, 11:30 AM

I had no idea some people took offense at "boy, I bet you have your hands full."

**Jamielane** · 07-11-2009, 01:16 PM

one I used to get alot because we have 2 girls is"Arent you gonna try again for a boy"? Like the girls were misfires or something.Oddly enough we wanted girls and were thrilled to have them.

Another thing that annoyed me was my oldest was in the homebound school program for awhile becaue she has a serious heart condition and couldnt keep up the rigerous all day middle school schedule. If we were out in public during school hours more often then not at LEAST one person would comment on her not being at school. If we said she was homeschooled that usually led to hearing their opinion on homeschooling.

**Debbie-cat** · 07-11-2009, 01:24 PM

I was always given comments about having an only child and it really irritated me. It wasn't by choice and when people would make rude comments like .... 'aren't you going to have another? He is going to be spoiled and lonely!' UGH. I would have loved to have more children but it wasn't in the cards and I didn't feel like going through the long explanation of why and it was none of their business if my child was spoiled or not (which he isn't!) and it made me angry that they would think he would be lonely! Didn't my company count? or his friends company?

**amlitrocks** · 11-20-2009, 04:17 PM

I have four children, and I am contemplating a fifth. You would think that I had grown two heads. When I just had three, I had a woman come up to me and ask, "Oh my goodness, how ever will you school them?" Now understand I live in the South in a town where most people send their kids to private school. People also assume I'm poor. Just because I have children does not mean that I do not know how to manage money. I make a penny scream so we leave a very nice life with no debt but the mortgage. The way I see I can have as many children as I can afford.

I have received the other following comments:
"When are you stopping?"
"When are you going back to work? You don't want to waste that master's degree?" Like the time I spend with my children is worthless
"You are done right?"

I usually tell them the Duggars are my heroes and that shuts them right up.

**lottaLove** · 11-20-2009, 04:42 PM

I'm pregnant with lil one number 2, and I don't know if it's hormones or something, but I have no tolerance for peoples nosy questions right now

- did you mean to get pregnant? (I got this with DS too, even from random people. IMO a completely inappropriate question)
- why would you keep trying to get pregnant after having so many miscarrys? -seriously....just let me be pregnant and happy. Stop bringing up the sad stuff.
- are you and your boyfriend getting married? -when we do you can read about it in the paper. Until then mind your own.
- how can you have kids without a car? -I get this more from family members (aunts, cousins) than from strangers.

And from a cashier at the grocery store as I was buying one of those cup-ramen noodle things for a quick lunch
- You know those things are bad for you right?

**ml2620** · 11-20-2009, 05:17 PM

I am childless not by choice so I have the opposite problem.

"You're not getting any younger haha!" (I know! My reproductive endochrinologist keeps reminding me!)

You know what you need to do to get pregnant, right?

And my favorite, "maybe if you rub MY PREGNANT BELLY SOME OF THE LUCK WILL WEAR OFF!!"

Then again, I have a neice and nephew adopted from korea, neice is 6 and nephew is 3. People ask "are they really brother and sister?"
Yeah, they are, dummy!

No matter what in life, people are idiots!

**wanderlusting** · 11-20-2009, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by ml2620

I

And my favorite, "maybe if you rub MY PREGNANT BELLY SOME OF THE LUCK WILL WEAR OFF!!"

!

Oooo! I HATED this one! Some of my other "favorites" were:

-drink the tap water
-adopt, THEN you'll get pregnant
- "You're so lucky! My husband just has to LOOK at me and we're pregnant!"
- If I have twins, I'll give you one of mine

I think the most helpful response to someone struggling to get pregnant is "I'm sorry, that really stinks"

**kaurand554** · 11-20-2009, 08:40 PM

but if I were to meet Michele Duggar, I would certainly ask............... how do you do it? What were you thinking?

If I were to meet some of the people on this board, I would ask... how do you do it?

Each question would mean no offense, but I would like to know how you do it? Everyone has their own lifestyle, patience level, etc... I have two kids and could not imagine, having more.....based on my personal circumstances.... doesn't mean I don't admire you for doing so...

The one thing that I have noticed in large families is religion; (and I in no way mean that in a bad way), but back to basics, family, financial struggles and not giving into "society" and giving everything financial, but giving more of the basic nurturing and family life for both you and your spouse and your children; so next time you hear...... How do you do it? Maybe someone is asking, what makes you different, so settled, secure, and happy with what you have. Maybe they want what you have, the peace of family, and not society dictating what the kids should have.

**mabyn09** · 11-21-2009, 09:58 PM

I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant with my first and although I know that no one means any harm, I have about had it with most people and their questions (mostly work people).

None of them have been really bad by themselves, but they start to add up. And I can honestly say I havn't suffered the crazy preggo hormones so I know that I'm not just flying off the handle at these things (plus my answers are always civil).

We hit a bit of a financial crisis during the pregnancy (totally unexpected relating to DH's job). Anyway, there was a period of time where I didn't think I was going to be able to take any maternaty leave (just 4 weeks of vacation, if my boss was nice and let me take next years early). Anyway everyone keeps making comments like "Oh I bet you are looking forward to your year off" (I live in Canada, we get 1 year maternaty, but it's not at full pay) and "I wish I could get pregnant so I could get some time off work". Idiots. I tell them that I'm probably only going to be able to take a few weeks and they reply . . . "Oh but just wait until you see that little face" or "No no, take the year, you'll never get that time back again".

Like I don't feel bad enough. Like I WANT to work at all (I hate my job). I would never CHOOSE to leave a 4 week old baby to go back to work. I guess no one knows what it's like to live with financial issues. All the bonding time in the world is not going to put a roof over my baby's head.

Anyway, now it seems that I am at least going to be able to take 17 weeks (we get a top up for that portion of the leave) and I am going to try and start up dog walking and maybe be able to make enough to stay home longer.

Sorry, didn't mean to go into my own mini rant. This is been stewing for a while and it just all came out. Back to the large family dumb questions . . .

I obviously don't have a large family (yet) but my favorite response I've heard for the "don't you know what causes that?" question is:

"Yes we do, and we like it alot"

I heard that on another forum and I was laughing so hard.

**Jessesbride** · 07-14-2010, 11:12 PM

Originally Posted by cheriede

What are some comments that you have encountered when people discover you have a large family?

Here are a few of mine and some of my responses--

~Don't you know what causes that? --no, would you like to tell me.

~How do you do it? -- one day at a time.

~Are you having anymore? --how about none of your business

~After my 4th child and my only boy...Now you can stop because you have your boy. ---First of all, I wasn't really trying for a boy. Second, I was stopping after 4 whether or not this baby was a boy.

~I bet you have your hands full --yep, I sure do.

LOL I know what you mean!

We do foster care (at the moment 3 siblings ~ 2 girls, 1 boy) & we also have a 13 yr old (who is mine biologically)... people ask us all the time why we do it & act as if we are saints or something ("because normal people just wouldn't want to do that"). WTH? really? & then they ask what issues they have & how hard it is to be a foster parent... hello they are KIDS whose families are having issues. It's NOT their fault they are in the system! & all kids have their own unique issues... duh... whether bio, adopted, or foster families. Sorry it's a rant!

Kim

**Liane** · 07-15-2010, 12:17 PM

I come from a large family and we would get some crazy questions from people. One that was directed at me was really insulting. I was in a store with my Mom and three sisters. At the time I was a tom boy and I was sweaty from running around. Keep in mind I was 7 at the time. This sales clerk looked at my sisters and looked at me and said what happened to you? Like why aren't you like your sisters. Oh I forgot that we all have to be like Stepford wives-ugh. The other thing that was strange was we were having a yard sale and my neighbor asked if my Dad was selling one of his daughter's. Eeew, that is skeevy.

**mommy4ever** · 07-15-2010, 01:33 PM

Oh...lol. I have had a few comments too. I'm a mom of 4, but also run a home daycare.

I have been out with 3 or 4 littles, all within the same age. I get asked.... Are the triplets?(Or quads) and I get tired of it. I'll tell them "No, they all have different fathers."

I was asked by the nurse in the delivery room, if we were Mennonite because we had so many kids.(having my 3rd). Told her no, we were Satanists, spreading Satan's spawn(I was IN labor...wasn't too nice).

Been asked if we knew what caused it... Asked them if they needed a pictorial.

My 2 youngest are nearly 5 years apart. But nearly carbon copies. Same coloring - skin, hair, eyes. DD6 is a mini dd11. People as me if I know how much they look alike. No... I never look at them.

I can bring 7 or 8 kids to the grocery store. Each and everyone knows to behave. I will get comments. Lots of positive on what a nice group of kids. But I get a few sneers. "You are crazy to have so many! I only have 1(or 2) and they drive me up the wall." I'll tell them, for being so rude, "If i had kids like yours I'd have quit as well."

THE BEST I've ever heard is from friends of ours. A same sex couple, 2 men. 3 adopted children. 2 are 1/2 sisters - blond/red and blue eyes, and one biracial boy fairly dark. Adorable kids. People will be in his office staring at the picture of the kids, stare at him, stare at the kids. He gets tired of the questioning looks. He'll lean forward and sigh and ask them "Do you think I should trust my wife?"