notifying family members

**pop goes the weasel** · 10-30-2009, 10:12 AM

I have a question about notifying family members of the military. My MIL's bf got a text from his ex saying that she heard that their sonhad been killed overseas. Then the daughter in law was on facebook and the same people oldher the same thing. My question is this....the military has the father, the grandmother, and one of the brother' contact info. Wouldn't they get in tuch with one of them before releasing any names to the public? We hoping since it's been two days with no news that it isn't true. They have lost their father and a 6 month old grand daughter in the last three months. If this is a joke it's a cruel one. Any info would be appreciated

**Missy** · 10-30-2009, 10:32 AM

I don't know. was the son married? they'd notify spouse first, I understand. Then from there if there wasn't a spouse, they'd move to parents i believe. then sibling if there were no parents. It probably has to do with who he listed as his first contact or next of kin.

**pop goes the weasel** · 10-30-2009, 10:45 AM

Well we aren't sure if he's still married or not. When he was back for two weeks he said that they weren't together anymore. It's been two days since he got the text message ( from the ex no less) wondering what was going on.

**butterflygreen** · 10-30-2009, 10:49 AM

I hope its not true as it sounds like they have been through a lot. I dont have any info for you just wanted you to know I will be thinking of you in this hard time.

**nancycg56** · 10-30-2009, 11:25 AM

Granted my DH has been retired for 5 years but you would hear something from someone in charge officially. That doesn't mean that buddies wouldn't blab it all over ~ I don't see how that could be stopped.

Back in the day, we were always told to contact the Red Cross and they would find out the situation. I don't know if that still holds true but you could always give them a call and see if it works. I'd give my DH a call and ask him but he's out of town and can't take calls.

I would try and hold in my panic until I heard something from someone in charge ~ as impossible as that might be.

Hoping for good news for your family!

**piney** · 10-30-2009, 12:34 PM

praying you will have good news.

**homemaker66** · 10-30-2009, 01:07 PM

When we lost our loved one three years ago the military came to the house early in the morning of the persons who was on the list of contacts. There were two military men who stayed by our sides all the way through this ordeal. But this is how it worked for us so I am not sure of how it is done now. I am sure that you would have heard something by now. I will keep the family in our thoughts and prayers.

**frugalfranny** · 10-30-2009, 01:32 PM

No info for you PGTW, but I hope any info you get is nothing but good. Will be thinking about you.

**baxjul** · 10-30-2009, 01:51 PM

Prayers that everything is okay.

**ttistin** · 10-30-2009, 01:59 PM

I would also say to contact the red cross and see what they can tell you. They may have information or they may be able to tell you who to contact.

Found this number for the Red Cross (877) 272-7337 (toll-free)

www.redcross.org

**Rebookie** · 10-30-2009, 02:36 PM

I'm hoping it's nothing serious and it's just terrible misunderstanding.

Praying hard for you guys!

**stinkbug** · 10-30-2009, 03:25 PM

When dd was deployed to Iraq, she told us exactly what to be prepared for if we were notified. TWO official military personnel would notify next of kin ...but for extended family, I don't know. She said...if a car pulls up with two military guys...it's gonna be bad. :-( She was in a IED explosion and we didn't hear about it for weeks....until a friend of a friend who was deployed with her mentioned it to dh. I did not find out until she was home safe. She made them all swear not to tell me so I wouldn't worry.....She was the only one in the vehicle not wounded. Which is a good thing - since she was the medic!

I have heard of instances of people making false notifications...it is very cruel.

**miss_thrifty** · 11-01-2009, 06:30 PM

prayers sent u r way dear. Hoping it not bad news .

**pop goes the weasel** · 11-02-2009, 08:30 AM

Well we just heard that all casualties have been confirmed and families were notified by Thursday or Friday of this past week. I did get a number for them to call if this happenes again and knowing what little I know about the ex's side of the family they may need it. Thanks for all the info, it was a great help. It's too bad about the ones that had to die.