National Guard?

**tbs727** · 07-07-2006, 11:18 AM

My hubby has wanted to join the guard for a long time. I have always been against it. I do not want the kind of marriage where I cannot be with my husband. However, I hate that he is giving up something he really wants to do because of me. I would like to hear some experiences, good or bad, from wives who have experienced the "guard" life.

TIA

**baronmom** · 07-07-2006, 01:16 PM

Well, up until 2002, he has been doing the 1 weekend a month and two weeks a year. In 2002 he went to Germany for a 6 month deployment (he volunteered), and then in 2004 he went to Iraq for a 1 year deployment (he volunteered again.) He is not really gone a whole lot. He has done some schools and stuff, but other than that, it is not bad. It all depends of what unit your dh is a part of which determines how much he will be gone. All I can say is that it does have its perks and its downside.

**guest32** · 07-07-2006, 01:18 PM

Well....my dd is in the National Guard. She joined her senior year of high school. Her first *job* choice was medic, which she tested and qualified for. Then three days before she was supposed to sign, they told her the medic slots were full. She told them *sorry*...not interested in anything else. A day later they called back and said they found her a slot. She arrived at Basic training on Sept. 6th, 2001 in SC, 3000 miles from home. Of course...she was in processing on Sept. 11th. She got through basic with flying colors, and did 20 weeks AIT in TX. Less than 6 months after she arrived home, she was deployed to Bosnia for 10 months. She was in the 183rd Aviation unit (blackhawks). She loved it. Then she came home and shortly there after changed to the 116th Calvary Brigade (to accept a promotion to Sgt)....knowing they were up for deployment. She left for Iraq and was gone 18 months. Longest 18 months of my life!! Long story short....she has done wonderfully in the Guard. She is 23, full time student, which is paid for entirely by the Army. She recently told me that when her 6 years are up (next Feb.) that she is signing up for another 6. I don't understand it...but I know she feels a huge commitment and loves what she does with her unit. She has never had problems with the men or anyone else...they all totally respect her. Her SO has been in for 17 years an is a Capt. It's certainly not for everyone!! She is the last person I would have guessed to join the military. She is very athletic, but thin, beautiful, and very girly, and has never cut her waist length hair...even in Iraq!
I would suggest he talk to a recruiter and test to see what he qualifies for, or what he is interested in. And make sure ALL his questions are answered and you are comfortable with the information. Some recruiters can be *misleading*....Her recruiter was great. We invited him to our house and talked to him for over two hours till our questions were answered to our satisfaction. READ the inforamtion thouroughly! Her recruiter has been there for both of her deployments.
HTH....though of course....your milage may vary.
Feel free to PM me.

**waterlover** · 07-07-2006, 05:35 PM

Well, I'll be posting the bad experience. My exhusband was in the Air National Guard. He joined after we were married. He joined for the future retirement benefits.

His regular job was working with the State so they would let him leave for however long the milititary would want him for. So the first time he was gone for 6 months and then the second time he was gone was for nine months for Desert Storm. It put alot of stress on our marriage. We always had a hard time adjusting when he got back home. I am very independent and would start adjusting my life to him being gone and then he expected me to just stop whatever I had started while he was gone. Example joining a nonprofit organization that assisted people in the community.

Maybe we would have eventually gotten divorced despite him being in the Guard, I don't know, but being in the Guard really put more stress on our marriage. We were married for almost 14 years.

**tbs727** · 07-12-2006, 04:15 PM

waterlover, were those deployments voluntary or not?

**waterlover** · 07-12-2006, 06:34 PM

The first time he had a choice. The second one which was Desert Storm he had no choice.

I always supported him while he was gone, and had no problems or issues taking care of the home front. I knew he was doing what he really wanted to do and he enjoyed it. The problems always came up when he got back.

Once we got divorced I found out the Dr. diagnoised him as having a chemical imbalance and put him on medication. So there were alot of issues going on in our relationship it just wasn't the National Guard, but it seemed military duty just added more stress to the relationship.

**tbs727** · 07-12-2006, 08:06 PM

I understand. I bet that was really rough on you.

Thank you for the information.

**Dsunny1** · 07-12-2006, 10:46 PM

My DF who I have been with for 11 years, is a army reservist. I know that isn't the same thing as the Guard, but in these times It seems they both get deployed equally. He has been deployed for 13 months now. He might return home to me and our kids in December. I am proud to be his partner but it is stressful. I worry about how it will be when he comes home. 18 months is a long time to make every decision and then to have to change all that when he returns is going to be tough. I know he is happy with what he does, he takes pride in himself for the job he is doing for the country. I am happy to support him in that and am the type of person that can figure out how to make things work. I work full time and have the kids in childcare when I am working. It is hard, but if It makes a difference then it is worth it to me. He is in Georgia right now. His unit is slated to go to Iraq after he comes home to train Iraqi troops. (he is a drill sgt.).. So we might have another long deployment immediately. I hope that doesn't happen but know it is a possibility and will support him with whatever happens.
You have to realize that when he joins he goes when he is called, no questions, no free passes. He could be gone for a long time. I have really no support, but can deal with that. It will be important for you to work all this out in your head to be able to be supportive of him, if he does make this decision. That is hard to do for some people and some marriages do suffer from deployments. I feel ours has only grown stronger and can't wait to continue my life with him when he returns, however long that may be. It is hard to think of the possiblity that he will have to be gone at times, the military waits for no one.. I hope it all works out well for you two and know it is hard not knowing what will happen if he does join.

**kisskiss876** · 07-15-2006, 06:25 PM

I highly highly suggest checking out cinchouse.com, theres over 10000 military wives/fiances/girlfriends and female service members as well. There spouses are active duty, reserves, national guard, everything. They will be a HUGE help, I promise. And tell em Manderssssss sent you

**Jonell** · 07-16-2006, 01:12 PM

my experiences arent bad but they arent good either.

DH is Active Gaurd Reserve. He does the same that Active Duty does but he goes to the armory eveyday instead of post. He can also volunteer for anything he wants so everything i am getting ready to tell you is all volunteerment.

he is been gone 31 out of 36 months. he sings a LOT of waviers to go. we move about every 5 yrs. or when he decides to reclass. (which is not very often) but the plus is that when he TDYs usually for 6 months to 1 yr here within our boarders i get to go too. we have done 9 months at ft reily, ks; 1 yr at ft leonard wood, mo; 6 months at ft polk, la; 6 months at ft levanworth, ks; the list goes on and on. and its fun (only when i can go too). my experiences havent been bad. but deployment over seas are not the best because NG deployes for 18 months or longer (thats 1 and a 1/2 yrs or longer) i havent quite figered that out yet as to why they are so much longer that active duty (sorry). but my dh volunteers for everything that he has done. they dont have to volunteer, they do get orders as well. it just depends on whats going on and how many people voulnteer usually as to if they get ordered to go somewhere ot not. if i confused you pm me and ill try again.