? for those with young children and separation for 12+ mo.

**guest002** · 02-13-2008, 01:11 PM

We might be dealing with this soon so I'm looking for tips on how you handle being a "single" mother to children 7 and under.

If/when this happens my ds will be 6 and dd will be 18 mo. Ds will be doing 1st grade without dh around. My main concerns are going to be:

How ds handles being away from dad for so long. He usually doesn't deal with deployments well (in the past).

Dd is a daddy's girl. It will be the 1st time in her life dh will be gone this long. Unsure on how she'll react.

How to deal with being mom & dad 24/7 with no family around at all to help and few friends. Most of my friends will be moving away this summer PCS season.

I'm a SAHM. I might hire help depending on the cost. I know I will need to factor in alone time so that I keep sane and refreshed.

What are your tips? What have you found to work the best for you and your young children?

**jamie79** · 02-13-2008, 08:51 PM

Well my kids are big but I think with your older child you can explain why dad has to go in age appropriate levels and keep a calander with your ds marking off the days. Also an idea is maybe making a surprise for him after so many days. Tell him if he is a good boy after so many days he gets to go to McDonalds or something. You could do this all thru the yr with different ideas. Also I know alot of people sent camcorders over so tapes could get made so that dad is talking with the kids etc. With the baby I would show the baby dads pictures alot and talk about dad alot. I know there is not alot that you can do with an 18 month old in this situation. Also for your 6 yr old he can write dad simple letters etc. Also find other military wives with kids about the same age and set up lots of play groups etc. Good luck

As far as being mom and dad to both your going to do the best you can do. Dont worry about the small stuff, if the house isnt quite so clean etc. If there is something big ask for help. Go to the FRG or other resourses or post on board and I will try to help you. I have been an army wife along time and nothing much surprises me anymore. I myself am getting ready for dh to go to SGM acasemy for 9 months. All I say to myself is everything will be fine. Dont sit and worry thats one of the worse things you can do. Whats so important is keeping the kids on their schedule and dont change things anymore then they will be due to the deployment

**AmeliaM** · 02-23-2008, 10:22 AM

Make sure you get in with the Wives support group. They have them at every base and they usually have one for the squadron your husband is in. You will be able to hang out and chat w women going through or who have been through what you are going through. If you ever have any issues go there or know what superior of your husband to contact-they can help you if you are having any issues.