Where I work we have a good percentage of fairly young people. When someone is having a baby or getting married, etc. we gladly have a shower for them. If they are from our department we also spring for refreshments. Otherwise just gifts. My problem is, they feel they should be given a shower for every child they have. I disagree. I think one shower is enough. This can get to be quite expensive. I don't participate in anyone having more than one shower.
The men are jumping on board also and wanting showers for their wives or GF's that are pregnant now. (These gals do not work here). We tell them we will be glad to host a shower but the gals must attend.
Am I wrong to feel this way about showers in the workplace?
i understand the majority of our days are spent with the folks we work with. however, i personally resent the idea that I "must" participate in something that, to me, is personal & non-work related. One place I worked at, it was required that we attend parties, buy gifts or giftcards worth NO LESS than 50$. sorry, but "I" can't afford that when almost monthly someone is having a party... and yes, it would be men having parties for their spouses/gf's having kids, or a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc child, or a birthday, or an anniversary... etc etc etc
and don't even think of giving a "handmade" gift... you'd get laughed outta there!
i think it should be "participate if you want" and not a popularity issue. i also think having a shower "at work" for a first child (or first child at having worked at that place) is ok. I think someone getting married is ok too, as long as both the bride/groom are there.
men having "showers"? well, from my experience, most of the guys either dont want one or want one ONLY for the gifts/money. it's not a traditional thing to do for men... but it's not abnormal.
i think it's all around ridiculous. but i know i have a very old way of thinking about a job... work is work, personal life is mine. the twain shall never meet.
I wish they wouldn't do this. I posted about this last fall. Someone got married and we put in for a gift and shower, fine. Then she bought a house and they took up another collection and now she's having a baby, so I'm sure it will happen again. It makes me crazy.
If I want to give a gift, I will, but I do not think this type of peer pressure belongs at work.
I eloped, bought a house, and will not be having children. Those are my choices, and I don't feel the need to share or celebrate them at work.
I've seen a variety of work shower set ups. The most "comfortable" situation is where they would send someone around with an envelope and you would stick whatever $$ you were comfortable with in for the situation. They would then present 1 gift from the whole staff and have a little come and go punch and cake party.
It sounds like the company needs to get a set company policy on showers or there is going to be burn out very quickly.
The most "comfortable" situation is where they would send someone around with an envelope and you would stick whatever $$ you were comfortable with in for the situation. They would then present 1 gift from the whole staff and have a little come and go punch and cake party.
Our work does that with the envelope and putting in what you want and we also do a "food" day where we just bring in little treats to celebrate. I think that works best.
II have heard of dinner or diaper showers for 2nd/3rd/4th babies. For a dinner shower, everyone brings a frozen dish for the mom to toss in the oven. For a diaper shower, everyone brings a pack of diapers. It is more a celebration of the new baby than a "real" shower.
The only disagreement I have is if you are going to do it for the gals - then it's only fair that the fathers get to have one as well.
Having said that all office 'have to" giving is crap IMHO
I can't believe they are doing "whole" showers for anything but the first child. Well, unless there is a big gap between the children or the second "one" is twins.
I have heard of dinner or diaper showers for 2nd/3rd/4th babies. For a dinner shower, everyone brings a frozen dish for the mom to toss in the oven. For a diaper shower, everyone brings a pack of diapers. It is more a celebration of the new baby than a "real" shower.
At my job an envelope is left at the front counter for donations. Showers/pizza party for marriage (1st only, or 1st child only). If we don't know you are expecting like the dad who called in to take a day off work and no one knew he and his wife were having twins, you get nothing.
I'm glad I don't see my co-workers much to begin with. But besides that if one of them did happen to have a child/get married etc I would not put in anything for a shower or what not. In the same token I don't expect anything from them when MY wedding comes around.*shrugs*
I have a hard time with these things. I'm never going to have a child, didn't expect co-workers to come to my bridal shower (didn't even realize I was going to have one until my maid of honor mentioned it), and don't expect co-workers to do things for my birthday. If I don't really know them, why would I?
At my work, we don't do big office parties like that unless you're a supervisor and leaving or something like that. We're also not allowed to "advertise" for any fundraisers, though we can have them at our desk and if people ask, we can tell them. We can't use work email to send out info about it.
I like it because it means less pressure on everybody concerned.
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