Spinoff from my Mother's Day Plans Thread

**Michelle** · 04-20-2010, 03:56 PM

Ok, if you spend Mother's day with both your mother and your S.O.'s/spouse's mother, how do you divide up the day?

I'm running into issues this year now that my mother has moved back to MA. I honestly can't remember the last Mother's day we spent together (to my credit, it *has* been at least 17 yrs!)

**Mom2-3** · 04-20-2010, 06:35 PM

Hmm. We usually see my Mom sometime that week. She lives close by and we get to see her often. No worries on seeing DH's mother. That doesn't happen.

**baxjul** · 04-20-2010, 07:39 PM

I'm no help. Before my mom died, we always went to see her. Because my MIL lived 4 hours away. Now, my MIL lives 24 hours away, and I would love to go spend the day with her.

**Libby** · 04-20-2010, 07:43 PM

Who says you have to spend time together on the mass marketed day thats printed on the calendar? Make your own 'Mothers Day' to suit you and your parties needs

BTW Didnt you say your bday was on the actual 'Mothers Day' this year? You should push for this now but spin it so that everyone comes to you and celebrates with you at your desired place (or home) instead. Or propose rotating venues to celebrate btwn everyone involved and start with your place first? Not sure if you want everyone at your house though?

**Michelle** · 04-20-2010, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by Libby

Who says you have to spend time together on the mass marketed day thats printed on the calendar? Make your own 'Mothers Day' to suit you and your parties needs

BTW Didnt you say your bday was on the actual 'Mothers Day' this year? You should push for this now but spin it so that everyone comes to you and celebrates with you at your desired place (or home) instead. Or propose rotating venues to celebrate btwn everyone involved and start with your place first? Not sure if you want everyone at your house though?

My mother would be livid if we didn't spend the day with her. And yes, my birthday is that day too. No one cares about that, so I don't even mention it.

I hate, hate, hate all the stress that comes with such a mass marketed day. No matter what I do, someone will be upset and/or mad at me. I'm tempted to just say too bad so sad and plan *nothing* for that day.

I already gave my mother the choice of seeing us in the morning or night and going out to eat somewhere. I sent her that email yesterday. No reply. :gah:

**frugalfoster** · 04-20-2010, 08:24 PM

My mother passed 10 years ago.

Frankly, in my mind it is so much more important to spend days that are not designated "mother's day". My girls love me, they see me often, at least twice a week. I don't need a special day to know that they love me...they show it all the time. My mom and I were the very best of friends. When she died I spoke at her funeral...My friends were all there crying. I told them...please do not cry for me...my relationship with my mother read like a very good book...one with many chapters and one that you never wanted to put down... I knew it would end someday...but I was.. oh so lucky.. to have had it for the time I did....

I loved that woman...I could only hope to be at least half as good as she!

**Libby** · 04-20-2010, 09:45 PM

Oh my gosh Michelle I feel for you. But if you did swing it so that everyone gathers at your place for a bbq for 'mothers day' (or whatever) you're still spending time with her but shes coming to you

Are you not a mommy too? Do you not deserve the same respect and same attention?

I'd go MIA for that entire weekend - see her Thursday or Friday evening b/c thats when you're avail and thats it. Heck, offer to see her again on the Monday just not over the weekend. Explain to her why, you ARE allowed to be stress free for your birthday and not have to share it. But again...not sure how your relationship is with your mother. :/