How do I say NO to deceased relatives items without offending?

[Greebo]

"Thank you very much but no thank you, I really don't feel comfortable with it."

And stand firm.

[Nana2two]

With my own Mom just passing my sisters just went through all her clothes. My dad said well lets just donate them to my sisters church, she has a clothing room at her church. My sisters said she would love it until somebody walked in wearing her mothers favorite dress or something. They took the clothes 30 minutes away to a battered womans shelter.

[Darlene]

If it's not a lot of "stuff" and I care about the person asking I'd just take it, smile & say thanks and then find a good home for it. You don't want to be a dumping ground but sometimes helping someone else feel better (easing their burden) is a kind thing to do.

[khaski]

Thanks for all the advice- I think i will just go with the firm 'I really appreicate the kind generous offer, but I would feel uncomfortable wearing her clothes.' I hadn't thought of taking then donating privately later, but 1) I think she would have a real hissy if she found out down the line and 2) we already have problems trying to stand firm and not be the 'dumping ground' for everything she doesn't want anymore....hubby reminds me to not sweat it til it actually comes to pass, she may change her mind and not re-offer the clothing to me again (wouldn't that be an easy solution).

[shortstack]

I'm very sorry for your husband's loss.
My neighbor recently lost her father. She took the clothes he wore all of the time and made them into quilts for the people that loved him and were very close to him. That way when they missed him they could snuggle the quilt. That would be another idea.

[mndtrp]

If she's just looking for you to take care of the clothes for her, take them and donate. If she actually wants you to wear them, tell her it would be incredibly awkward for your husband.