I feel sad but we are putting a cat down :(

**nodmicks** · 07-27-2009, 02:08 PM

I feel so terrible about this. We took in a wild ,very small , malnourished stray over two years ago. She was sick as a dog and full of every parasite she could be. She actually lost some hearing because of mites. When I first saw her and thought she was a baby she was so small. Turned out she was an adult. She was living in my barn. I eventually caught her and took her in to get treated with the hope of re-homing her since we already had 3 cats.

Well she was horribly wild of course. She hid under our bed for well over 6 months and came out at night to eat, potty etc. We had to keep food and litter right in our room. She would go on the floor if one of our cats came and used her box. Eventually she would venture out and liked the other cats. Though she was sure scared of us.

She would come sit in my lap or occasionally after almost A YEAR. She won't go go near our kids or dh . She still runs from everyone but me if they try to pick her up. A guest in our home has never seen her unless I go get her. She will not let a stranger touch her period so re-homing is just not feasible. It would be cruel to put her through it and who wants a cat you can't pet for a year besides me? Or two years if you are my teens or dh.

We have struggled the whole 2+ years we have had her with peeing problems. Bad peeing problems. She has destroyed much. We have even had 4 separate litter boxes and spent way too much on an automatic litter box. The vet has seen her numerous times and said there is not a thing wrong with her. He says it is likely from her being wild the first year or two of her life before I caught her. She also backs up and tries to spray almost like males do -oddly.

She will be ok in a box until someone else uses it or she uses it more than once. She will walk up, sniff and if it has been used by another cat or herself earlier l she will go pee on something. I have been fighting this the whole time. I keep thinking it will get better.

We thought and the vet agrees that it would be very traumatic to her to be re-homed even if someone would take such an unfriendly , wild cat. We even tried putting her back outside. Oh my heavens it was terrible! She screeched and cried something awful. It was terrible.

I talked to the animal shelter and they were very candid about the fact that if she wasn't friendly and adoptable they would be forced to put her down. I can't bring this poor cat there knowing with a clear conscience she is scared of all people but me! Besides putting her down she would be terrorized to spend time there. That would be just cruel.

With a very sad heart I am putting her down tomorrow. I have made an appointment and cancelled three times previously even though the vet keeps telling me there is nothing left to try. She has done thousands of dollars in damages. I never meant to keep her, just get her healthy and a new home. It just wasn't possible with her never getting 100% tamed. She is a sweet cat (well at least to me on occasion since no one can really pet her besides me). I really feel awful about this decision. Dh says over two years is way long enough.

If anyone has any great ideas we haven't tried I'd sure appreciate it. Please don't slam me for putting her down. Trust me you can't make me feel any worse than I do. I just can't tolerate the rest of her lifespan doing this

I have always felt one I get a pet (or they get me which is more like it since all 7 are stray or rescue cats and dogs) that it is for their whole life. Sigh

**Ceashels** · 07-27-2009, 02:33 PM

I can not imagine living in fear every waking moment. Blessings to you for trying so hard these past 2 years to give her a safe haven. Even though it is difficult to do, I think you would be doing her a greater service to be at peace.

many many hugs to you.

**madhen** · 07-27-2009, 02:35 PM

Send an email to Agee Memorial Rescue. Cindy deals almost exclusively with anti-social and/or feral cats. She might either have some suggestions or be able to direct you to a rescue in your area. (You can check out the rescue at http://www.fatkittycity.org/index.html.)

http://www.fatkittycity.org/contactus.htm

**nodmicks** · 07-27-2009, 02:36 PM

Thanks Ceashels. I can't say she is in fear all the time. She strolls around the house now and sits in the rocker with the other cats but if anyone besides me walks over she is gone. The only time she goes near dh or the boys is if they have treats. She won't take it from them but will gobble it up next to them and run off

**nodmicks** · 07-27-2009, 02:38 PM

Thanks Madhen I'll check it.

**madhen** · 07-27-2009, 02:40 PM

I should mention that I fostered a cat for Agee that was afraid of everyone, as well. We didn't think he had any future, but I fostered him for several months. He didn't have aggression issues or potty issues, but just seemed miserable and wanted to hide all the time. Eventually, he started to show up when I came into the room. He would just peek at me until he realized I knew he was there, and then he would run away again. By the time I returned him, he was sleeping on my bed, and would actually purr and let me pet him (although he still had major issues and would suddenly startle and run and hide for no reason). He was finally adopted by an understanding family and is amazingly living a great life now, but my understanding was that he started his life as a normal, happy cat, but was traumatized by the loss of his owner.

**nodmicks** · 07-27-2009, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by madhen

I should mention that I fostered a cat for Agee that was afraid of everyone, as well. We didn't think he had any future, but I fostered him for several months. He didn't have aggression issues or potty issues, but just seemed miserable and wanted to hide all the time. Eventually, he started to show up when I came into the room. He would just peek at me until he realized I knew he was there, and then he would run away again. By the time I returned him, he was sleeping on my bed, and would actually purr and let me pet him (although he still had major issues and would suddenly startle and run and hide for no reason). He was finally adopted by an understanding family and is amazingly living a great life now, but my understanding was that he started his life as a normal, happy cat, but was traumatized by the loss of his owner.

Awww that is a great story Madhen! I'm glad you could save him!We have all these farms around us that let their cats bread like crazy. I get a few every winter because it gets -30 degrees here and I feed them. I think it is unbelievable cruel to let them just keep breeding. We see cats hit by cars regularly here also. So sad.

The vet figures this cat had never been a pet. She is so small because she was way too malnourished to grow. We had seen a few that look very similar to her once or twice sneaking under the deck or in the barn after I took her in. Sadly we never see the same cats long. I think they get hit or die of disease. Our other cat we took from outside was a tiny kitten who's mom got hit or died. We could hear him crying in the barn behind some wood. We didn't even know we had her living in there at the time so I'm glad the kids were snooping around in there. The others were dead. So we bottle fed the cute little bugger. I think he adjusted great because he was so young. As in he hadn't spent his whole life fighting to stay alive like the cat we have the problems with.

I sometimes feel it would have been better if I hadn't taken her in but I know that is wrong. Regardless she is now healthy, no longer skeletal and has been loved (at least by me). That is far better than the bit of time she would have lasted if not treated and left out.

**nodmicks** · 07-27-2009, 02:54 PM

Madhen I sent my whole first post in a message to the woman you suggested.

**hwmabire3** · 07-27-2009, 02:55 PM

That is so sad, and I feel your pain. Is she fixed yet? I know you said you got her to the vet, but you didn't mention having her spayed. Some of the issues may go away(such as the spraying) if she were fixed. Just a suggestion.

The other thing I would suggest is to put an ad on Craigslist titled "Free Cat". Be honest about the fact that she is wild, and tell them that you don't want to take her to the pound. I'm sure someone will want her.

Good luck, and I hope you don't end up having to put her down!

**madhen** · 07-27-2009, 02:59 PM

I hope she is able to offer you some alternatives. Is it possible that meds might help the cat? You may not want to go that route, financially, but it is a possible option.

If not, and if you have no other choices, maybe the vet can give you a tranquilizer to slip into the cat's food, prior to taking her in to be euthanized. That way, at least she will be calmer and won't spend her final moments in fear. Sometimes, a little bit of peace and calm is the only thing that you can give them prior to letting them go.

**nodmicks** · 07-27-2009, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by hwmabire3

That is so sad, and I feel your pain. Is she fixed yet? I know you said you got her to the vet, but you didn't mention having her spayed. Some of the issues may go away(such as the spraying) if she were fixed. Just a suggestion.

The other thing I would suggest is to put an ad on Craigslist titled "Free Cat". Be honest about the fact that she is wild, and tell them that you don't want to take her to the pound. I'm sure someone will want her.

Good luck, and I hope you don't end up having to put her down!

Yep we had her spayed. We have 3 neutered males but were worried if we didn't they might act up.

I have had her on "freecycle". I even had one lady come out to see her. She said "she was to wild". I can sure try again.

Dh says one way or the other she has to go. He was mad he had to rip out the upstairs carpet , replace ds's mattress but he is beyond angry about the leather sectional.

**nodmicks** · 07-27-2009, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by madhen

I hope she is able to offer you some alternatives. Is it possible that meds might help the cat? You may not want to go that route, financially, but it is a possible option.

If not, and if you have no other choices, maybe the vet can give you a tranquilizer to slip into the cat's food, prior to taking her in to be euthanized. That way, at least she will be calmer and won't spend her final moments in fear. Sometimes, a little bit of peace and calm is the only thing that you can give them prior to letting them go.

I don't know Madhen. The vet has ran tests numerous times and says nothing is wrong physically. Just behaviorly.

I just keep hoping there is an alternative!

**madhen** · 07-27-2009, 03:17 PM

I know there is a version of doggie Prozac for dogs that have anxiety issues. I suspect there is something similar for cats. I don't know what the cost would be, but if you are looking for alternatives, you might ask your vet if he/she thinks it is worth trying.

I hope Cindy is able to get back to you before you make a decision. I don't know if she will have any suggestions, but I can't think of anyone I know who would be more likely to know what you can try. Cindy is the type of person who would probably offer to take the cat, if you could get the kitty to her. She has a huge heart, but she is also very practical about what can/can't be done.

**nodmicks** · 07-27-2009, 03:22 PM

In all honesty I really couldn't afford to medicate her. I already have a 17 year old cat on insulin.

**Buckeye5** · 07-27-2009, 04:35 PM

Sending you hugs, it must be very difficult for you. It seems like you have exhausted all of your options. Good luck with what you decided to do. I know its a tough decision.