My Cat Little Girl has died (long)

**Twinkle** · 12-03-2009, 10:23 AM

Firstly I want to thank everyone who responded with such compassion and love to my previous post. I don't have many friends but know at Frugal Village I do. I am not a very good writer of my feelings but so far I have written this.

Little Girl – April 15, 1994 – November 30, 2009

Little Girl came into our lives one fall day. She came over to our house from a house kitty-corner to us with her kitten to eat some food that I had put out on our front porch. I would call her over using the name Little Girl. Neighbourhood children had told us that she had a litter of kittens (she apparently was only six months old and very emaciated when we met her). We didn’t know what had happened to these kittens other than the little one that came over with his/her mum. One day she came over by herself. A child came to my door and said that the little kitten had been run over by a car and a kind neighbour had buried him/her in their back yard. My husband begged me to keep her. We already had 3 cats (two male cats of his before we were married, a stray male we had gotten in our former home in Oshawa, and a co-worker’s male cat supposedly in “good health” that was put down three months after we took him in as he had FIP, we thought she might have brought it in but she had the blood test and thank goodness was healthy.) So reluctantly I agreed. She got on famously with our “boys” (actually she ruled the roost). I had her spayed. She was happy to be an indoor cat. She was always the talkative one (“just like a woman” my now ex-husband would say). She was afraid of men and of being closed in a room. Over time she became a beautiful sleek black cat who loved being on my lap. She would always come to me for love and attention. She loved lying in any patch of sunshine. She did not want to play with expensive toys, she loved playing with crumpled bits of paper.

In 1999, my husband and I separated. I took Wizard and Little Girl as they were really “my cats.” I stayed at my parent’s house while I decided what I would do.

A few weeks after, my aunt asked my mum and me down to Florida for a week. I was happy to go and enjoy some sun and sand as I was sad about my marriage ending. Two days after I got there my Dad called and say Little Girl had run out the back door. I went home on that day to find her. I had a printer print up about 200 posters and I set out walking every day for four hours pinning them on every light post, and putting them in people’s mail boxes. I put a special lime green one on the local grocery store board. I made the dreaded phone call to the City of Toronto every day at 3:00 to make sure she wasn’t picked up as road kill. My Dad and ex-husband looked on the railway tracks behind our house as I knew I would die if I had seen that she had been killed by a train. A few lunatics called after seeing my poster. Exactly a week after she disappeared, a neighbour across the road from my parents called saying she saw my poster in the grocery store and she had a black cat in her shed. It was night time and I knew as soon as she meowed, that it was Little Girl. She wouldn’t come out as this lady had just fed her and she was scared. Armed with tuna and her carry cage, I ventured out the next morning. When she came out to eat, I grabbed her and put her in her cage and back to home. She only had a scratch on her eye brow area. I took her to the vet who gave her a clean bill of health. I believe she ate from the bowel of the poor dog next door to this lady who was chained up outside all day) I sent this lady a big bouquet of flowers as she refused my reward money. That night I noticed a group of raccoons going across the road over to this lady’s shed – I had gotten my girl out just in time. I was exhausted but the thrill of finding her was just unbelievable. I never gave up hope.

Last August, she refused to eat for two days. I took her to the vet scared as when Wizard went off his food in 2002, he was later diagnosed with cancer and he died two weeks after diagnosis. The blood tests came back as normal. She was diagnosed with slight viral infection and we had to assist feed her for four days (not easy on any of us.) She went back on her food but would be incredibly picky. I went through I don’t know how many brands of food to entice her to eat.

In January, she stared to vomit about once a week. I tried changing foods – nothing seemed to help. In February back to a new vet. Again nothing in the blood tests or the x-ray. She wouldn’t touch the “good” food which might help her. In April, it was vomiting and diarrhea at the same time twice in one week that prompted another vet visit. She was losing weight. I consented to an endoscopy which showed irritable bowel disease and intestinal lymphoma. I was still in shock and I couldn’t even bring myself to ask the vet the prognosis. She was put on a steroid to help with her vomiting, diarrhea and appetite. This worked for a week. Then it all started again. On May 28 she was put on two pills, Prednisone and Leukeran. She had to be the most impossible cat to pill so I knew this was going to be a challenge. For a while pill pockets worked, but then a week later she wouldn’t eat them. The first morning we had to pill her she spit the pill out on two attempts. We got it down on the third. I bought a ‘sack cat’ to put her in and this worked (so far). She is in such good shape with no vomiting or diarrhea and she seems to enjoy looking out the window and being with us. I hope we manage for quite a while. We began putting the pill pockets in her food and she began to eat them. In the meantime, she was having kidney problems drinking quite a lot of water and I had to clean her box twice a week to keep it fresh. She began to vomit again in September. We tried a few different kinds of pills to find out what would work. She was fed small meals every three to four hours to keep her tummy full.

In November, her appetite started to wane. In the past I was able to get her to eat boiled chicken and then she would start on her own food again. However, during the week of the 15th she barely ate anything. The kitchen was full of every different type of cat food stocked at PetSmart. Nothing seemed to work. She was depressed, slept all day, started to not clean herself and was just not herself. We started to assist feed her on the 18th. On the 24th, we took her to the vet who prescribed an appetite stimulant. There are a few for cats but because of her heart murmur, this one was best for her. There was no change. I spent the weekend with her to see how she was mentally and physically. Basically she was just sleeping and not enjoying life at all, and I felt it was time to put her to sleep. Never an easy decision for anyone but I knew it was time. Although I was anxious about being there with her when it happened, I was determined not to bawl my eyes out and make it harder for her to go. My mum (her grandma) was there with us (which helped immensely). So on November 30, 2009 my Little Girl went to heaven. I will get her ashes back in a weeks’ time. Her ashes will be scattered over a beautiful rose bush come next summer. Just as my mum says I will always be her little girl, she will always be mine.

**fixer** · 12-03-2009, 10:34 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. You did a great job of caring for her in her final days.

**Brat** · 12-03-2009, 11:18 AM

I am so sorry for your loss..As I read you story I put my Nosey into the same as Little Girl..They were both the same up to the end..I feel your loss and know that you did all that you could for your loved one. No one can tell you it will be ok but you did a great job with her and I know what she is in a better place because of it.

**Surilda** · 12-03-2009, 12:05 PM

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

**Daisygirl** · 12-03-2009, 12:06 PM

I am so sorry - your beautiful words brought uncontrollable tears to my eyes.

Please take good care of yourself and treat yourself with love and compassion. Grief is very hard to deal with so take your time doing so. I send my love and prayers.

**Palooka** · 12-03-2009, 12:24 PM

Thanks for sharing that story. Sorry for your loss. *hug*

**pinetree** · 12-03-2009, 01:30 PM

Oh Twinkle, I am so sorry. You took such excellent care of her, you should be proud of yourself.

You are right, she will aways be " your little girl " and you will love each other forever.

**sabrelvssammy** · 12-03-2009, 02:52 PM

twinkle, you are an awesome 'pet parent' that went above and beyond what so many animals could even hope to have in a lifetime....(as my dad once told one of my cats..."the day she found you...you won the lottery...and you don't even know it"....)
'litte girl won her own lotto'.....

she fought hard and you were right there beside her the whole time and its your love and devotion that probably kept her fighting as hard as she did.... i know it is really of no consololation right now to say she is at peace coz you are still terribly missing her every second of every day....(i can tell that by reading your post) and i have been in your shoes....

don't be afraid to mourn...cry when you need to...scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you feel just slightly better...but do know that i am a firm believer that we will be united with our pets in the end (as with our human companions).... and one day you will see 'little girl' waiting for you and she will be right back up there in her 'favorite lap' for the rest of eternity....

take care twinkle.....

**Contrary Housewife** · 12-03-2009, 03:02 PM

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I went through the same thing a couple of years ago with a stray tomcat I'd had for 16 years. I know that wrenching feeling of losing a pet that has been your loving friend and companion. I hope you can find comfort in her memory.

**frugalfranny** · 12-03-2009, 03:42 PM

So sorry for your loss but you were/are an excellent animal owner and did what could be done.

Always remember the good times and what a neat cat she was.

It is never easy to lose something that has been so precious to us for their 'short' lifetime.

**ShelleyAV** · 12-03-2009, 04:31 PM

I'm sorry for your loss Twinkle.
Little Girl had a wonderful Mom!
It is so hard to let our friends go.

**shoiji** · 12-03-2009, 08:11 PM

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Pets are in our life for a reason. She knows you love her. Take care of yourself. It sounds as if you both were there for each other.

HUGS

**jas** · 12-03-2009, 08:23 PM

Thank you for sharing you life story with little girl with us. I am sure she knew she was love so much by you.

Sorry for your loss.
Jean

**brenda67** · 12-03-2009, 08:33 PM

Hugs...I couldn't help but to start reliving/pain my own experience with our dog Brandy (we had to put her to sleep on November 26,2007 on my dh's birthday)how much we loved her ...it might as well been a family member that died.We have her ashes in a beautiful urn sitting on our entertainment center with a picture of her beside it..I'm thankful for the 13yrs we had with her..and that we gave her a good life! You have given her an excellent life any kitty could have!