Our Bregan is an Angel (Neonatal Loss Mentioned)

**dianne9106** · 01-05-2009, 10:51 AM

Hello,
I know I have not been around since November, but we have suffered a huge tragedy. We lost our Precious little boy - Bregan Michael on Thanksgiving Day (11/27) at 3 1/2 days old. Below I have copied and pasted his story from his Blog. Also is the blog link posted which has his Memorial slide show on it or you can view it at YouTube link posted.

Bregan Michael W. was born at home on November 23, 2008 at 2:14 pm - 6 lbs 12 oz, 19.6 inches long. He was born floppy and not breathing. My midwife started CPR while my husband, Matthew called 911. I sat there on the birthing stool looking helplessly at my beautiful baby boy while the ambulance was in route. My labor with him was less than 40 minutes and it was very hard and very, very fast. My midwife made it 5 minutes before he came. My labor is what Bregan’s specialist later categorized as a precipitous labor. I was told this could have and has happened in hospitals, where the baby’s oxygen is cut off and the fluid is not squeezed from their lungs.

Bregan went to BACH (Army Hospital) in one ambulance and I in another with my husband following. Dakota, my oldest son stayed home with our daughter, Aidan, while we were at the hospital. They intubated Bregan and he later pinked up and could breathe on his own. However, they decided to send him to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital because his chest X-ray was not looking good. I was fine, so we drove down to Vanderbilt to be with our new son.

The next two days we had so much hope that he would be home by Christmas. He may have a learning disability or suffer from seizures, but we would all be okay. By Tuesday night, his seizures were so bad that they had to put him back on the ventilator and needed us to come back to the NICU. Wednesday morning we were given the worst possible news. Bregan had sustained severe brain damage due to a lack of oxygen during the birth and the seizures basically shorted out the rest of his brain function. He was living on his brain stem with no hope for life off of life support. We had to make the decision to remove him from life support and allow him to go in peace.

Wednesday, November 26th at 10 pm, we held Bregan while the ventilator was removed. Our brave little boy lived for 10 more hours. My husband and I held him all night while he labored and his little heart finally started to slow at sunrise. Our precious little Bregan wanted us to have one more sunrise with him. He passed away peacefully in our arms while we sat outside with him on Thanksgiving morning.
Because Bregan’s organs were so compromised by the lack of oxygen we were only able to donate his heart valves. I can only hope that our Angel can help another baby and his memory will live on forever with another family.

In lieu of monetary gifts, we are requesting that donations be sent to the following fund in Memory of Bregan Michael:

Make Checks Payable to:
NICU Social Worker Fund
Mail to:
Shirley Carpenter
Monroe Carell Jr.
Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt
Suite 4523
2200 Children's Way
Nashville, TN 37232-9950 (this zip code and the last 4 are really important)
615-322-0545
Please make a note that the donation is in Memory of Bregan Michael W. with your return address if you need a tax receipt.

http://rememberingbregan.blogspot.com/

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twzb1dVDgsI[/media]

It has been so painful to lose a baby - I never knew we had the strength in us to cope with this. I know our Angel is in Heaven watching over us and we hope to one day give him a baby brother or sister. Thank you for reading and I hope to come back around to FV more often.

**Michelle** · 01-05-2009, 10:54 AM

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

**Persimmon Lace** · 01-05-2009, 11:05 AM

It's so hard to lose a child

**C@rol** · 01-05-2009, 11:05 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. :chugz:

**nvmommyx6** · 01-05-2009, 11:12 AM

I am so sorry, Your video was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes!
Your all in my prayers, and I agree with you, as I watched your video, I knew You must be strong people to have endured such a great loss.
God Bless
C.J.

**homesteadmamma** · 01-05-2009, 11:13 AM

I am so sorry for your loss.

**lmbaker520** · 01-05-2009, 11:14 AM

I am so so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

**nancycg56** · 01-05-2009, 11:21 AM

I am so sorry.

**IntlMom** · 01-05-2009, 11:22 AM

pass the kleenexes........
I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY FOR YOUR TRAGIC LOSS!

**frugalfriend** · 01-05-2009, 11:23 AM

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. Thank you for sharing your story with us. God bless you and your family.

**Parksfamily5** · 01-05-2009, 11:37 AM

I really don't know how to reply but I will try. I am truely sorry for your loss. I sit here with tears in my eyes after reading your blog and watching your video. I feel for you. I can't imagine your pain. He is such a beautiful little angel. May god bless you and help you in your recovery.

**Momto2Boyz** · 01-05-2009, 11:40 AM

Your story brings so many memories back for me. We lost our third child and only daughter at only 4 hours old after spiraling into early labor at home, which for us, was unplanned.

My hands are literally shaking on the keyboard, becuase I know the heartwrenching devestation that you are feeling. I can't even put into words the things that I want to express to you.

You are going to amaze yourself at how much strength you will be able to pull from deep within yourself to get through the times ahead. It does get easier as time passes, but special occassions just never seem quite so special after the loss of a child.

Do your best to remember and honor him in any way that you can. And be sure that you and husband are open and honest with each other. You'll feel sadness, for sure, but what took me by surprise was the anger. Don't feel ashamed or bad about getting angry, they say it is a natural part of the process. Blame whoever or whatever you want...just don't put the blame on yourself, becuase it will tear you apart.

Please PM me if you need support. For me, it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and would not have been able to do it without the support of others.

I'm wishing you whatever peace and serenity you can take from in 2009.