Baby Shower for Twins

**madhen** · 10-05-2009, 10:53 AM

I have been invited to a baby shower by a co-worker who already knows that she is having twins (boy and girl).

Two questions: she has made it clear to everyone that she is registered at three different stores for presents. First question: Am I just inviting disappointment by giving her something HM vs. buying her something at the mega-baby-mart? Second question: What is the protocol when you know there are going to be two babies? Are you required to give twice as much?

I know that sounds stingy, but I don't even really know this person all that well, although she is nice enough. I don't socialize with her, and I've seen the guest list - it includes EVERYONE, not just friends - so I'm thinking she's hoping for a haul.

QM · 10-05-2009, 11:24 AM

Originally Posted by madhen

First question: Am I just inviting disappointment by giving her something HM vs. buying her something at the mega-baby-mart?

You may be inviting disappointment by giving her something HM vs. buying something off her registery, but that is not your problem...it's hers. People should be understanding that some people like making gifts (like you) and some people have pre-bought gifts for times like this so not everyone will use the registry.

Originally Posted by madhen

Second question: What is the protocol when you know there are going to be two babies? Are you required to give twice as much?

Others may disagree with me, but I believe that a person should give twice as much because there are two babies. For example, you couldn't buy a dress for one and nothing for the other.

My recommendation is that whatever you decide to give her (whether it be store bought or HM), try to make sure it's something practical and something she or her babies can use. I didn't like getting baby pictures frames and things to hang on the wall...I'm not into that sort of stuff. I stuck the impractical stuff in a box and put it in my storage room. It's not that I didn't appreciate things like that, but I had no use for it if you know what I mean.

When are her babies due? You could always buy a few summer clothes for the babies that are on clearance. This is the perfect time of year for clearance summer clothing.

**danni** · 10-05-2009, 01:00 PM

I was given 2 baby showers when my twins were born. My mom and mil couldn't plan together. LOL!!! Anyways my mil had the traditional shower and yes I got tons of stuff, and although it was nice stuff alot of it was impractical for me. And yes I got 2 of everything. The shower my mom threw for me was great she asked everyone to bring diapers or a casserole. Everyone brought both, I ended up with enough casseroles to feed us for a month and diapers to last almost 2 months.
Anyways, I personally only give homemade and practical gifts now. If she is expecting alot of stuff she might not be happy with anything you bring and she would probably getting alot if she has invited that many people anyways. I think I would bring something for the mom instead. Maybe some pampering stuff like bubble bath and candles or casseroles if you think that would be appreciated.

**Lora88** · 10-05-2009, 01:30 PM

Any kind of registry is one of my pet peeves I think a gift comes from the heart and is not ordered like something off the menu That being said there are going to be two babies so if you are giving clothing you would have to give 2. How about a basket of things for both the babies use lotions diapers bath towels toys bibs etc. As far as home made things go I love them but some people dont. You need to go by your own value system and too heck with shat people think. If your not that close with this person a token gift is fine.Do what you feel is right

QM · 10-05-2009, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by QM

...Others may disagree with me, but I believe that a person should give twice as much because there are two babies. For example, you couldn't buy a dress for one and nothing for the other...

I wanted to add something. I went to a baby shower last Saturday for a mom who is having her first boy. I bought the baby gift at The Children's Place and gave her a size 0-3 months pajamas with a matching undershirt, two size 12-months t-shirts & one size 12-months blue-jean shorts. Because The Children's Place had a 99 cent deal on their baby summer clothes I paid a whopping $4.95 plus tax for her gift. If I had paid full price (which I never would) I would have paid $62.50. I can't believe that some people would pay that much for clothes...

**madhen** · 10-05-2009, 01:42 PM

Thanks, all. The babies are due in January, I believe.

I like the idea of a basket for the mother. Maybe I can make something for the mother, and include a token GC from one of the registry stores.

**mauimagic** · 10-05-2009, 02:05 PM

Like the ideas here and think you have found your solution madhen. I personally like to see what people have registered for - it's good to have dreams - and then I give what I'm happy to give. Usually something handmade and practical!!

If everyone at work is invited, it may be that whoever is giving the shower didn't want anyone to feel left out of the celebration.

**brennasmom** · 10-05-2009, 02:37 PM

Personally, I take registaries as "suggestions". I don't feel obligated to buy something off there list. I would give something you feel comfortable with. If you don't want to do two seperate gifts you might think of doing a baby basket ~ shampoo, lotion, wipes, etc....that you know will be useful

QM · 10-05-2009, 02:53 PM

Another idea, Madhen, is to say that you're too busy or have prior engagements and don't go...especially because it's twins. lol

What's the lady going to say?..."Ohhhh! I don't know her very well. I can't believe she didn't come!"

**madhen** · 10-05-2009, 03:37 PM

Unfortunately, I've already accepted.

When I say she has invited everyone, I mean both everyone in our relatively small office and people from all over the state (and a few who are several states away) who are in corresponding offices and in our Division HQ. My first reaction (and I admit that I am cynical) was that she is trying to get as much stuff as possible. There were names on there that I recognized and that I know aren't remotely interested in showing up, but that doesn't mean they won't send a GC to appease their guilt.

I am not too interested in what is in the registry, because she isn't a part of my life in any way, so I don't really care about what it is she thinks she can't live without.

That said, I do like her personally, in the way you might like the guy who drives the bus that you take every day, and I know she doesn't have a lot of close friends, so I don't mind being one of those guests "padding" her shower.

But if anyone tries to make me participate in a party game, they are going to lose a hand.

**mauimagic** · 10-05-2009, 03:48 PM

I totally agree about the games thing - have always avoided them!!

**shoiji** · 10-05-2009, 04:39 PM

You could always make two baby blankets from extra soft cloth. I also think a height/growth chart would be nice to make. Could be made from leftover material or painted piece of wood.

If you want to make something than go ahead. Sometimes people have a difficult time figuring out what to get people. Being registered at different stores helps. If you have an idea for something, go ahead and make it!!

**marjorie** · 10-05-2009, 05:19 PM

Another thought might be something like a small diaper cake, but made of baby washcloths that both kids could use, or diapers in something like a size 2 that most people wouldn't buy. You could always do something like crochet some mobiles- that wouldn't be costly, and if you picked 2 different ones they could be switched for baby's variety, or matched for mom's peace of mind.

**ravenmaniac** · 10-05-2009, 05:36 PM

If I remember correctly your needle work is beautiful. Some soft baby washcloths would be nice and baby wash in a gift bag. That seems practical and relatively inexpensive.