RANT: Pregnant Women Are Not on Display!!!!!!

**Nada.Leona** · 05-03-2010, 03:03 PM

*pulls out soapbox and stamps up on it*

I am so SICK of people telling me to "come over so you can show off your belly"! It's not the Mona Lisa, here, folks! It's a baby. In my uterus. It's a big bump. You don't tell obese people, "Oh look at the little belly!" *rolls eyes* I am so tired of being expected to show off my pregnancy belly. It's driving me insane.

Friends on Facebook say, "Where are the pictures? We don't see any pictures of your belly!" Um... that's because I'm a fat pregnant lady and I don't want any visual reminders of that haunting my in cyberspace forever! Give me a break. If I wanted you to see me pregnant, I'd have posted pictures of me pregnant.

One of my "friends" (i.e. those people you know that you add to your Friends list who you never talk to in real life, much less even like) spent her whole pregnancy plastering herself all over Facebook. Now that the baby is here, it's all she can talk about and all she posts about. "BABY NAME is just the cutest!" "BABY NAME is just the best!" "I entered BABY NAME in the 'Cutest Baby Ever' photo contest! Go vote for my cute baby!"

*bangs head against keyboard*

And here in reality, it's no better. Every time I see my mother, she's ooing and gooing all over my belly and then tells me, "Your grandmother and aunts really want to see you before you deliver. Go show off your cute belly."

No. I'm not going over. I hate being guilt-tripped into something like that. If I had thought it up on my own, it would've been fine. If they had emailed me and said "We want to see you!" that'd be fine. But it drives me crazy -- none of them ever called me to ask if I wanted to come over and visit BEFORE I got pregnant, and now that I'm a novelty, they want to see my "cute belly"? I feel like it's my mother trying to put me and my belly on display. We're not a museum here folks! I'm going to start charging people to look at me turn and show off my round stomach.

I will post a few pictures of my baby here on FV and a few on FB, just so people will know I've had the baby and what s/he looks like, but I am not going to bombard the world with how cute my baby (or my belly) is. It drives me absolutely insane. It's not a toy. It's not an award. It's my baby. It's my child. It's not something for you to gawk at.

*sheepishy picks up soap box and scampers away*

**McD** · 05-03-2010, 03:37 PM

I HATED this. I don't like when people that I don't know invade my bubble anyway so to have them attempt to touch me annoyed the poo out of me.

Just keep swimming, Nada, Just keep swimming. Although, in this case, you are swimming upriver against the current because your next battle will be how to keep random, weird strangers from touching your baby. On her little hands. Which she then eats. barf.

**baxjul** · 05-03-2010, 04:27 PM

I agree with Nichole, this is easy (doesn't seem like it to you, I know), it's when they want to be touching the baby that is the worst. Hugs, and hopefully time will pass quickly!!

**militlady** · 05-03-2010, 04:35 PM

You made my day. I know you wanted to just rant and forget about it but I couldn't help but laugh the whole time I was reading it. I could just picture you standing on a soapbox wagging you finger and yelling at the top of your lungs. Hugs!

**ml2620** · 05-03-2010, 04:43 PM

I have to say, so far very few people have tried to touch my belly. Is it a regional thing? (I'm in new england).

Lady Nada, I also love that you see your baby as a real person already, not a toy or accessory. You've got a great perspective on motherhood and your child.

I wish I could send you a t shirt that said stand back! Concealed weapon!

Keep your hands on your belly, that generally keeps people away.

**TigerGirl1226** · 05-03-2010, 04:45 PM

I wanted pregnancy and my "baby-moon" to be a time to enjoy life and the experience not become a spectacle, but that's what so many people around me tried to turn it into. I can't tell you it gets better once the baby is born, then people will start trying to find similarities between yourself, DH and the baby. I can say that you adapt to it all.

Good luck with the baby and I hope you have a wonderful "babymoon".

**Mom2-3** · 05-03-2010, 05:29 PM

Ah! There will be a time that you will remember all this and wish you could have it again. lol I know it doesn't feel like that, but there will be a time that you will look at those "I'm fat belly" pictures with fondness.

I know you don't believe me, but it will happen.

**IntlMom** · 05-03-2010, 05:34 PM

.....and just a gentle reminder here..... you are lucky to be prego!! there are those of us that were never able to get pregnant that would have LOVED to have someone oogle over our belly - (I know I would have!)

**MomsaBasketCase** · 05-03-2010, 06:57 PM

As they say, "This too, shall pass."

I loved being pregnant and all the attention that came with it. It doesn't last very long and before you know it, you're oogling over someone else's pregnant belly because you are so excited for them.

Try to enjoy the good things in life.

**mauimagic** · 05-03-2010, 07:02 PM

I never could understand why people would want to pat my pregnant belly - I certainly was not Buddha!!

Must admit though, I totally enjoyed every minute of it otherwise!!

**frugalwarrior2** · 05-03-2010, 07:07 PM

Everyones different. I wished I was bigger w/ the first one. At seven months i still had people saying I wasn't pregnant. Try and be patient w/ people they just want to share in your joy. Except for weird guys who want to use this as an excuse to cop a feel.

For your DH
-lay on your back. Put a plate on your belly w/ a single grape. The baby will move it all over. This is the first time DH really got "pregnant". (LOW TECH.)lol.

**NewLeaf** · 05-03-2010, 07:27 PM

I loved every minute of my baby belly. But I had to try long and hard to get pregnant both times. My second child took us 7 years to concieve...... I think people get so excited that they just want to "bond". It's their way of getting a little closer to the miracle of life. I didn't mind people touching my belly at all. That being said, I would never touch any one elses baby bump unless I asked first. We all feel different about our personal space. Especially when pregnant. I like that you are protective - you're going to be a very good mama.

I hated when people wanted to touch my babies though. I knew someone who put a little sign on her baby stroller along the lines of "Please do not touch - my immune system isn't mature yet". I could easily tell people he was too young and the doctor didn't want people handling him. But when the little old ladies came around I would let them touch his little feet (no harm there, and who doesn't love little baby toes).

**Libby** · 05-03-2010, 08:04 PM

Lady Nada I totally see your point on this. While you, DH and close family & friends may enjoy your proud belly it doesn't mean its a free for all for others to see nor feel they have a right to touch. Its still your personal space and your body!

When my godson was a newborn - 2 mo's - I was waiting with him in the stroller in the chaise lounge/restroom area of the ladies washroom (you know the make up mirror section w/o toilets?). This woman had come in to use the toilets and saw us sitting there in the corner, she changed directions and made beeline to us. She actually attempted to reach into the stroller to touch my godson. He mustve sensed something, panicked and shrieked out of fear and meanwhile, out of reflex I smacked her hand outta the stroller before she could touch him. My gf upon hearing her baby shriek came bolting over and saw the woman hunched over the stroller and loudly told her to step away from her baby. Mama bear in full force.

I am not sure what it is that people 'think' they have the right to touch someone else's baby let alone w/o asking permission. This applies to your belly thing too. Personal space man! Like you said...if you wanted everyone to see and touch it you'd have already been out there chasing people down to to do or to look at it.

**AmyBoz** · 05-03-2010, 08:45 PM

I'm always surprised at how people are willing to say anything to a pregnant woman.

We have two teachers at school who are pregnant. One is due in July, the other in September.

I overheard one woman tell one of the pregnant women "Oh, I just heard you were pregnant! I was so relieved! I just thought you were getting really fat!"

I just keep telling them they look great, because when you are pregnant, your body is completely not your own, and completely not under your control, and it can be a bit overwhelming at times, particularly when people are coming forth with the back-handed compliments.

And, Nichole...ITA with people who touch babies hands. Seriously...BACK OFF FOLKS!

**Siebrie** · 05-04-2010, 07:56 AM

LadyNada, I so agree with you! Although I have only ever had one person touching my belly uninvited, my baby was/is touched all the time. Random strangers ask if they can take her picture, some strangers will think she's soooo cute, pick her up, give her a kiss and a cuddle and put her back down. C'mon! Give the girl a break! Yes, she is cute, yes, we also think so, no, we don't want everyone to tell her that all the time, no, we don't want her pictures circulated on the internet, no, we don't want you to pick her up when she's playing and minding her own business. Would you like us to do the same to you? *rant over*