Financially Preparing

[casl18]

I wanted to get a feel for how people prepared financially for having children. My husband is a grad student right now and we hope to start a family in the near future. I work, but only bring in about 20K a year - enough to pay rent and the bills.

When I started asking some close friends I was surprised to find so many of them used Medicaid, food stamps, and WIC to help support their financial burdens of bringing a new life into their homes. So many of them had their entire pregnancy covered by Medicaid and then use WIC coupons or food stamps to stock up on food. All of these women are stay at home moms and their DH is either a student or working.

We would qualify for such benefits, but I'm just curious if that is really how so many people do it. I understand there is probably a good chunk of people who get through school and are in a career that offers good medical insurance, but we're about 2 years away from that. Financially it makes the very most sense for us to wait until he is out of grad school, but what if we want to start trying before? Should we be just setting aside money? Staying away from using government helps? Using some benefits?

Are any other students in (or ever was in) this type of situation?
What have others done?

[FrabjousDay]

I have nothing against programs like Medicaid, WIC and food stamps, and feel that they provide an important safety net for struggling families. However, I find it a bit ridiculous when people who obviously cannot afford children use government programming as an excuse to go ahead and start families anyway.

[craftypam]

We weren't in the school/working situation, but I feel if you can't pay for your children. WAIT!!!! Why should the rest of us pay the government for other people's children. Those programs that the people you know used are paid for by our tax dollars.
I am not talking from someone who has had it easy. We raised 3 sons with seasonal employment and paying our own health insurance for 30 years.

[kitkat0649]

IMO it is very irresponsible to ttc or continue to have children when you can't support them and would have to rely on taxpayers money to provide for them. If you already have kids and fall upon financial hardship that is one thing, but to bring children into this world knowing that you cant take care of them is very irresponsible.

[melodys]

I had my first child when I was in college. I wish that I had waited. Yes the programs are there to help financially, and the wisdom of a deliberate choice to use those programs is up to debate.

My point of view is that having a child while in college made finishing school 10 times harder. The exhaustion and stress of dealing with an infant on top of academics is unbeleivable.

Yes, it can be done, but I am going to say what I wish someone had said to me. Wait. There will be a better time.

[dancemommy]

We had our eldest child when my husband was in grad school- he went right after college so we were young- 22. I adore my son- he is wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing about him, but it would have been easier to wait until after grad school until we had a little more established so I'd say wait a little while if you can. We did not take any government assistance. We knew plenty of people who did who were in our situation, but we did not feel like it was responsible. So, we took out more student loans and have been paying for it ever since- I think I would have done that part the same way. Our other children were all born after grad school- we had good insurance with the next 2 and were self employed with less great insurance with the next one. We are still self employed with no maternity coverage. We are toying with having another baby, but not sure how we'd do it. When you purchase health insurance as an individual it is expensive ($900+ a month) and that is without maternity. If you add maternity it is a 2 year waiting period before it is effective. So, not sure what we'll do there which is why we are just contemplating at this point. I guess what it comes down to is, I'd wait if at possible. I don't feel like it is "right" to have everyone else fund your pregnancy.

[piney]

IMO it is very irresponsible to ttc or continue to have children when you can't support them and would have to rely on taxpayers money to provide for them. If you already have kids and fall upon financial hardship that is one thing, but to bring children into this world knowing that you cant take care of them is very irresponsible.

i agree but unfortune there are lots of people doing that and some that can pay but knows how to work the system.

[flashyMcGee]

I have nothing against programs like Medicaid, WIC and food stamps, and feel that they provide an important safety net for struggling families. However, I find it a bit ridiculous when people who obviously cannot afford children use government programming as an excuse to go ahead and start families anyway.

I ditto this....
Start putting money aside now. I don't have children yet and suspect it may be about a year before we start trying. However, I have a baby savings acct., a pile of neutral colored baby clothes, and a closet full of diapers that should last close to about a year.

[Nishu]

If you're not going to use government assistance, you might as well wait until you are out of school and have a good job with good insurance. Paying for maternity care and deliver can run you 10-15k I think. How long would it take you to save that? And that's before you have to buy a single onesie.

[kita]

I'm with flashyMcgee...don't start ttc until you can pay for it. However, that doesn't mean that you can't pick up neutral baby clothes on clearance and making cloth diapers if you want.

[pollypurebred39]

I'm with flashyMcgee too. No reason not to start a baby fund, gather clothing, make diapers, find baby furniture, bottles, sippy cups, toys, baby monitor, bedding, etc. Why not be as prepared as possible? There's no reason not to scour yard sales for clothing and bedding, etc. (except the crib, buy that on sale somewhere) You could easily gather together 5 years worth of footie PJ's, our Kmart clearances all their baby stuff the end of every season and it goes for just $2. The onesies come in plain white and getting a stock of them for 3 years is not unreasonable. Baby toys are mostly educational, no need to worry about the sex there either. Pack everything in plastic totes and label clearly. When the time comes you'll be proud that you planned and were responsible, and didn't need to lean on anyone.

[khaski]

Aside from the fact I agree it's just plain WRONG to bring a baby into this world with the plan others will foot the bill, you need to consider that with all the federal/state budget cuts, programs to assist families with medical care and such are/are about to be cut waaay back, so getting on gov. assistance with a new baby sometime soon is not a guarantee. Wait until you can afford it- but if you know you want to do it in the next few years, no reason you can't begin stockpiling clothing, diapers, and baby 'equipment' when they're on sale...consignment shops and yard sales are great places to find great deals (though be careful purchasing equipment- check recalls). I would NOT buy formula now, now matter how cheaply, in case baby needs a special formula. Now's a great time to research breast feeding too! Concentrate on stockpiling great deals and getting yourself into optimal health, as well as your financial situation, before working on your little blessing. Good luck!

[Inkstain82]

You really, really, really need to wait. The stress of money on top of the stress of a newborn is not a good combination.

Outside of the delivery itself, a newborn isn't that expensive. They grow out of stuff way faster than it wears out, so there's a huge supply of eighth-hand baby stuff out there that you can get for almost nothing.

[Nishu]

You really, really, really need to wait. The stress of money on top of the stress of a newborn is not a good combination.

Outside of the delivery itself, a newborn isn't that expensive. They grow out of stuff way faster than it wears out, so there's a huge supply of eighth-hand baby stuff out there that you can get for almost nothing.

Yeah to this ^^ In fact, I wouldn't even bother gathering things up right now unless you just think you'd enjoy it. Baby stuff is pretty easy to come by. Just my opinion on the matter. 2 years +9 months is a long time to have a bunch of baby stuff laying around.

[men-r-optional]

The original purpose of those programs was meant to help those in crisis. For instance: folks who are ill, disabled, surviving death of a caretaker, recovering from the dessertion of a caretaker, or rebuilding their life after disaster. Unfortunately, many folks have learned how to use the system to fund their lifestyles. My grandmother always said two things while I was growing up: "A stiff prick has no conscience"; and "Stand on your own two feet, rely on no man, because it is your feet that have to do your walking for you." In other words, only do what you can afford to do for yourself and your family because no one nor any entity is required to provide for your needs. ...unless you are an English Royal...

Life happens and no matter how much planning we humans do, things may not always go as planned. We Americans have grown accustomed to the government bailing us out which, in a crisis, is respectable; however, planning a lifestyle that would incorporate the use of other's funds is not honorable.

Finances aside. If you wait for your mate to finish grad school you will both be able to focus on the pregnancy and the caretaking of your cherub. This will provide a more solid ground to stand on when unexpected things shake your world.